“Rainbow, please!” Twilight admonished. “He’s just come back through the portal and he doesn’t need any more stress right now. He needs to rest and take it easy for a while.”
5953357 Thinking back, I think Jeremy was trying to trick us into thinking Will had an incestuous thing for his sister, also I think Will should have returned popping his head out of the water to see the two name-less scientists banging over the equipment, revealing that the portal is powered by hankey-pankey.
Welp that ended surprisingly well and without a hitch.
I still stand by my views that the portal and going back to Earth was an incredibly fucking stupid thing for Will to do, especially with how I described the time variance. Again Sarah was kind of a write off for me since we probably won't see her until the portal is stabilized to Earth.
Really happy with the Dash and Scoots though, especially with Dash coming back. Can't wait for the next chapter now that Earth is behind us.
5953671 I still personally disagree on the time variance idea, but to each their own. And I'm glad that at least how I handled it didn't completely ruin the story for you! Needless to say, we're done with that part of the story and we can get back to the focus on Rainbow and Scoots from here out. Sarah and the rest of their family will indeed play more of a part later, but it won't be until the sequel. She's done in this story.
5953751 I-I'm sorry! I-I don't have a problem, honest!
*hurriedly tries to pull the curtain to hide his shrine to the AP Manual of Style*
No, but in all seriousness, I find little flaws like these and point them out. Ask Flammenwerfer, the author of the [shameless plug]excellent crossover[/shameless plug] Metroid Equis and he'll tell you allllll about my annoying incredibly helpful editing style.
Love the fic so far, keep it up!
E: Let me expand. Too many HIE fics end up with the human getting everything they want with no actual conflict whatsoever. This actually ends up reading extremely human, which I appreciate.
5953772 Well to each their own. Pretty much your quality of writing is why I stuck with the story and I am glad I did, So many authors would have fucked that up royally. I really can't wait to read more of this.
5953834 Haha, I was just kidding around! I actually really like it when people tell me things I missed in editing, especially since I will readily admit I'm fairly lazy during that stage of the writing process. So if people don't point out the things I've missed, I'll never find them!
And thank you for your compliment as well! I feel quite the same about HiE fics, which is one of the reasons I've written TFaR as I have. I wanted there to be conflict. I wanted things to not always go Will's way. Granted, I still think he's turned out a damn lucky guy, but he's made his own share of mistakes and has had to deal with the repercussions of that. And now he, Rainbow and Scoots have their work cut out for them to fix things.
5953837 Thank you very much, though I'm sad it made you cry! Stick it out through the next chapter, though, cuz I think there'll be a little more to smile about by the end!
Huh. You know, obviously he was eventually going to get back, so that doesn't exactly come unexpected, but I am pleasantly surprised about the how. Most stories here would have contrived something stupid like having him fall into yet another random cosmic hole in the ground or sucked back into ponyland. Having it turn out that Twilight's math was simply correct and that the portal did stay open that long is a surprisingly mundane and sensible solution.
Aside from that, I didn't really enjoy the chapter all that much, though. Whatever happens back on Earth is always the least engaging thing about these stories, so most of the chapter didn't really grab me all that terribly much until the end - where, of course, it then ends right as it's getting back to the parts I'm actually interested in.
Oh you fucker!! Why must you update this thing late at night?! I Just woke up and have to head to work! No reading for me until I return!! I hate you so much right now!
PS: Thank you for updating it, I was so desperate that I was afraid I was getting an anneurism or something
5953772 SEQUEL YESYESYESYESYESYESYES THANK YOU I'M ON MY PHONE SO I CANT ADAQUETLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS STORY BUT I WILL DO SO WHEN I GET HOME IN LIKE 9 HOURS AAAHHHH THANK YOU FOR UPDATING THIS
God damn the feels. So glad this updated and also that is back. Thankyou for giving me somethng to read after a particularly shitty day at work. Keep it up
I was seriously expecting some complications either on Earth's situation or with the portal, but this ended up being just some casual trip. Can't say I'm disappointed since the rest of the chapter made up for it, but I was definitely expecting Will to get some retribution for his asshole attitude. A final nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Ah, so now Rainbow decides to get her head out of her ass and speak her mind? Extremely lucky her that he came back, because otherwise she'd be bitterly regretting the time she wasted. Now here's to fervently hoping she doesn't get in the way of Scoots and Will; I'd hate for that to happen just because she feels like scratching an itch.
Goodness me... that was just... swell. I am SO GLAD that Rainbow has finally come around. It is about fucking time. I read that a whole lot faster than I normally read 12k words. Do the site interview peeps interview mature stories? Awaiting the finale to this glorious tale!
Aw jeez... now you went and made me feel stuff again. Bitter... shell... of cynicism... cracking... Huurrrgggghhh! Heart... covered in... feely... sparkles...
5953847 If it was possible to kill someone with feels, this story (and especially this chapter) would definitely do it. I laughed, I cried, I did both at the same time. Good on you, bro. I've never read a story that's ever made me feel this much, and considering how many I've read, that's saying a lot.
5956915 Ah... well, in my defense for it, I only actually started reading this... Wednesday? Maybe Thursday? One of those two, so I hadn't really had a chance to find out about it. But yeah! Thank you so much!
This was a really good chapter, but I was really hoping he would bang his sister. I would give this a 8/10. Needs more clop.
Uuuuggggghhhhhhh why you must tease us!!!!!!!!!
Also
Would "came back" be better than "come back"?
5953445
Teasing you all is what I do!
And I don't think so? "He has just came back" doesn't sound right to me, but it could be my frazzled tired mind at the moment.
5953458 probably XD.
oh so far your job of tease is 10/10. you punk
5940743
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/You%252Brealize%252Bthat%252Byou%252Bre%252Bliterally%252Bputting%252Bmillions%252Bof%252Bdollars%252Bup%252B_908619ba1bc1441f323ec7f74ce96c11.jpg&imgrefurl=http://funnyjunk.com/comment/anonymous/content/4299988/-5/1/rating/20/2&h=232&w=310&tbnid=bGdltO4rEvX0DM:&zoom=1&docid=I0qT5RKsk1IwUM&ei=qktMVd_dOIuwggSh3YDgDQ&tbm=isch&ved=0CB8QMygCMAI
I'll just leave this here
Edit: Apparently I can't insert the image...
5953476
I don't think that worked like you wanted it to...
Edit: Much better!
5953483
Yeah, sorry about that. For some reason it just didn't want to work.
Sweet chapter, love it!
If things work out the way I think they are...
I'm sensing a threesome in the near future.
5953498
Thankya kindly!
5953512
That would be... quite a sexy way to end the story, wouldn't it?
Yay for updates!
5953520 You are implying something here...
5953524
Me? Implying? I have no idea what you're talking about!
woooo story development
5953512 my thoughts as well.
5953357
Thinking back, I think Jeremy was trying to trick us into thinking Will had an incestuous thing for his sister, also I think Will should have returned popping his head out of the water to see the two name-less scientists banging over the equipment, revealing that the portal is powered by hankey-pankey.
Welp that ended surprisingly well and without a hitch.
I still stand by my views that the portal and going back to Earth was an incredibly fucking stupid thing for Will to do, especially with how I described the time variance. Again Sarah was kind of a write off for me since we probably won't see her until the portal is stabilized to Earth.
Really happy with the Dash and Scoots though, especially with Dash coming back. Can't wait for the next chapter now that Earth is behind us.
Woo! Good solution. He just needed some closure. Then rainbow steals him and all is well....
I needed this piece of happiness right now. Thank you so much! Great chapter and great story!
5953476 It's because you're trying to insert the link to a Google search result instead of the image itself.
Et voila!
new2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/You+realize+that+you+re+literally+putting+millions+of+dollars+up+_908619ba1bc1441f323ec7f74ce96c11.jpg
E: okay, fuck me, then. >:(
Also:
This should be "You just got back..."
5953740
Why ya gotta point out all my flaws, man?!
Nah, I'm just joking! Thanks!
5953650
I would never do anything to purposefully trick my readers!
That being said, damn did I miss an opportunity with those scientists! Shit!
5953671
I still personally disagree on the time variance idea, but to each their own. And I'm glad that at least how I handled it didn't completely ruin the story for you! Needless to say, we're done with that part of the story and we can get back to the focus on Rainbow and Scoots from here out. Sarah and the rest of their family will indeed play more of a part later, but it won't be until the sequel. She's done in this story.
5953751 I-I'm sorry! I-I don't have a problem, honest!
*hurriedly tries to pull the curtain to hide his shrine to the AP Manual of Style*
No, but in all seriousness, I find little flaws like these and point them out. Ask Flammenwerfer, the author of the [shameless plug]excellent crossover[/shameless plug] Metroid Equis and he'll tell you allllll about my
annoyingincredibly helpful editing style.Love the fic so far, keep it up!
E: Let me expand. Too many HIE fics end up with the human getting everything they want with no actual conflict whatsoever. This actually ends up reading extremely human, which I appreciate.
I'm actually crying keep up this amazing story.
5953772 Well to each their own. Pretty much your quality of writing is why I stuck with the story and I am glad I did, So many authors would have fucked that up royally. I really can't wait to read more of this.
5953834
Haha, I was just kidding around! I actually really like it when people tell me things I missed in editing, especially since I will readily admit I'm fairly lazy during that stage of the writing process. So if people don't point out the things I've missed, I'll never find them!
And thank you for your compliment as well! I feel quite the same about HiE fics, which is one of the reasons I've written TFaR as I have. I wanted there to be conflict. I wanted things to not always go Will's way. Granted, I still think he's turned out a damn lucky guy, but he's made his own share of mistakes and has had to deal with the repercussions of that. And now he, Rainbow and Scoots have their work cut out for them to fix things.
5953837
Thank you very much, though I'm sad it made you cry! Stick it out through the next chapter, though, cuz I think there'll be a little more to smile about by the end!
Huh. You know, obviously he was eventually going to get back, so that doesn't exactly come unexpected, but I am pleasantly surprised about the how. Most stories here would have contrived something stupid like having him fall into yet another random cosmic hole in the ground or sucked back into ponyland. Having it turn out that Twilight's math was simply correct and that the portal did stay open that long is a surprisingly mundane and sensible solution.
Aside from that, I didn't really enjoy the chapter all that much, though. Whatever happens back on Earth is always the least engaging thing about these stories, so most of the chapter didn't really grab me all that terribly much until the end - where, of course, it then ends right as it's getting back to the parts I'm actually interested in.
Oh you fucker!! Why must you update this thing late at night?! I Just woke up and have to head to work! No reading for me until I return!! I hate you so much right now!
PS: Thank you for updating it, I was so desperate that I was afraid I was getting an anneurism or something
Another good chapter and can't wait to see what happens now
5953772 SEQUEL YESYESYESYESYESYESYES THANK YOU I'M ON MY PHONE SO I CANT ADAQUETLY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS STORY BUT I WILL DO SO WHEN I GET HOME IN LIKE 9 HOURS AAAHHHH THANK YOU FOR UPDATING THIS
God damn the feels. So glad this updated and also that is back. Thankyou for giving me somethng to read after a particularly shitty day at work. Keep it up
I'm just wondering how torn up wills back is after dash tackled him. Ground into the crystal caves floor ouch
I was seriously expecting some complications either on Earth's situation or with the portal, but this ended up being just some casual trip. Can't say I'm disappointed since the rest of the chapter made up for it, but I was definitely expecting Will to get some retribution for his asshole attitude. A final nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Ah, so now Rainbow decides to get her head out of her ass and speak her mind? Extremely lucky her that he came back, because otherwise she'd be bitterly regretting the time she wasted. Now here's to fervently hoping she doesn't get in the way of Scoots and Will; I'd hate for that to happen just because she feels like scratching an itch.
9/10 for feels.
5953357 meh I would give is a 9/10, only because there was not resolution but can't have everything
why you gotta put so much feels?
Excellent chapter, as always!
5953458 "He's just come back" is just fine. The other option would be "He just came back". Either works really.
.
Heh, yea... sounds a lot like me.
Finally an update!
I'll read it later since I'm not in the right mood for reading right now.
Goodness me... that was just... swell.
I am SO GLAD that Rainbow has finally come around. It is about fucking time.
I read that a whole lot faster than I normally read 12k words.
Do the site interview peeps interview mature stories?
Awaiting the finale to this glorious tale!
I hope you're planning a sequel.
Finally got around to read it.
Got me at the verge of tears again, man. Too many feels
FEELS!!
Aw jeez... now you went and made me feel stuff again.
Bitter... shell... of cynicism... cracking... Huurrrgggghhh!
Heart... covered in... feely... sparkles...
5953847
If it was possible to kill someone with feels, this story (and especially this chapter) would definitely do it. I laughed, I cried, I did both at the same time. Good on you, bro. I've never read a story that's ever made me feel this much, and considering how many I've read, that's saying a lot.
..................... The feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad he came back though! I want to see how this pans out....
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!
5956255 I SECOND THAT, DO A SEQUAL!!!
But this has to be the BEST... POSSIBLE..CHAPTER!!! This was so worth the wait and i want to read MORE!!!
5954049
5955853
5956255
5956782
Allow me to direct you all here.
5956915 Ah... well, in my defense for it, I only actually started reading this... Wednesday? Maybe Thursday? One of those two, so I hadn't really had a chance to find out about it. But yeah! Thank you so much!