• Member Since 4th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen May 17th, 2015

TheGoo


I write clop sometimes.

Comments ( 19 )

5130498
/pone/, actually.

The plot twist is... Not welcome for me.

Well done, I love assimilation fics and this is no exception. Thumbs up!

5130801 Hey, do you know any other assimilation fics by chance?:pinkiesick:

Good lord that was hot.

5130587

Sorry to hear.

5130660
5130801
5132372

Thanks!


5132372
Not off the top if my head, no. Sorry.

Huh. Seems I misunderstood what Assimilation was.

This was pretty good, I thought! Not the oviposition your mother used to make, that's for sure. Apparently a bunch of people don't like it that way, though :/

"It's time," is says, smiling slightly.

Easy little typo.

It takes your fuzzy mind to realize what it is

Did you forget to include a word here?

... the chitin of the rest of ita body giving way to...

Another weird little typo.

You blink in surprise. Definitely not what you were expecting.

Could pass it off as artistic preference, maybe, but technically you should replace the period with a semicolon or something.

If the drone had any objections, it doesn't say anything,

Little tense change here.

The moment of truth. Do you really go through with this?

Again, possibly artistic preference, but this is what a semicolon is for.

These are just a couple errors I found while reading, but otherwise the story is pretty great! I feel like the backstory was kinda rushed, as you gave only the bare minimum 'required', but for something you wrote for a thread I'm not disappointed with it. In some places it sorta felt a little mechanical, and a lot of the words are really samey. I mean, practically the only word you use to refer to either the Changeling's or "your" cock is dick, dick, dick dick dick.

Overall, I really like it, but that might just be because it's my fetish so goddamned hard :twilightblush:
You should keep writing!

5142442

Wow, I did not expect to find such great feedback on this of all things! Thanks for the notes! And yeah, I could have used semicolons in those two spots, but I like the weight periods add to the end of the sentence.

I know this is a fetish fic, but I find myself drawn to the potential lying just underneath the surface, here. What might the Changeling's motives be? What happened to its own hive that it needs a new one? Is that some actual love it shows? Could the regret lead to an attempt to set things right later on?

Anyway, an okay show, I guess. A few spelling errors, but nothing near as bad as I've seen.

Curious as to how it got int this state, you brought it home and managed to nurse it back to health through your love and care.

Correction:Curious as to how it got into this state, you brought it home and managed to nurse it back to health through your love and care.

:facehoof: I can't tell if Anon or the mistakes bugged me more but I'm not a fan of this story. I'm sorry.

I normally love changeling stories and it had potential but I just wasn't feeling it. :pinkiesad2:

5519566
I agree. A sequel could be made of this, doesn't even need clop in it. This could make a great series using what's hinted at in this single chapter.

Is there a link to Would you a Changeling?

8459916
This please

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