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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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d'aw +.first
ALL YOU NEED IS
ALL YOU NEED IS
ALL YOU NEED IS ALL THE WAY, HEUMANA
Congratulations! Your Charles evolved into GARY!
GARY Learned Charm!
GARY learned Barrier!
GARY learned Extreme speed!
GARY learned Psychic!
Ponymon is sponsored by ArmorGames (TM)
D'aww. Now he's a super powered alicorn, he can be a princess too.
That's it, i have two thoughts.
Too many apostraphes. if it is plural or ends in an s it does NOT need one. apostraphes are for posessive words.
I have a feeling this will end in a harem.
567373 Wat da fuq?
DAWWWWW
795800ya me to pal
567904
dont you mean prince or king? HES a princess? LOL
Kinda of Gary Stu-ish developments going on lately, although the story itself is highly humorous. I'll keep reading for now to see how it develops, but so far you've fallen into making the main character too overpowered, so to speak.
i hope he stays overpowered Its hard to find a good story with an overpowerd character. And this is a great story!
I don't know what it is but I hate the whole "all powerful" character scenario....unless he's the Forge Master...then its awesome(on a side note WHY CANT I FIND THE FORGE MASTER ON THIS SITE!!!)
so...if hes gonna spend time with them both..will his sleep schedule be like 12 to 20 (military time)
still liking this cause its written well
tsundere luna
Who the hay is the romance tag for?????
Normally by now I've worked it out, but I can't tell who it is!!
Pony down in the dumps? Call psychiatrist midnight for all your pony uplifting needs.
Okay, by now midnight/Charles needs to stop being surprised when everypony goes google eyed at him.
MORTAL KOMBAT RARITY VS CELESTIA/LUNA ROUND 1
FIGHT!!!!!
Same as always... Next chapter!!!!
Damn you immortality why must you make great people (pony's) suffer?
So Gary Stu it hurts but alas you masterful troll you wanted until chapter 11 to pull this on me so I shall continue reading until my IQ drops so low I can no longer read.
very few times has a gary stu been used correctly. you sir have used it correctly
1761224 That is a fucking awesome story
The Gary Stu (hate that term by the way) thing I'll get by with but I'm not a big fan of the cliche dialogue. It was used too often and kind of out of place. Seeing as there's so much more left to read I'm sure that improves, but that was driving me nuts. On another note though, I am enjoying the story a lot. There are mistakes, but the way you described your grammar in the description made it out to be a lot worse.
3209210 Midnight has used reassure on Luna! It is super-effective!
The character that puts everyone before themselves is nice in their own way but voicing that fact every chapter and everybody else noticing and loving them for it straight away gets frustrating and is something I hate in HiE's so much because it just gets too cheesy because in my mind it always seems like the author is trying to project what they think is right onto their character to the point that the character becomes a 'Gary Stu' such as the part with Celestia. I realise that it's pointless to say this when the rest has already been written and I assume that your writing gets better throughout the later chapters but i just really needed to vent my frustration somehow. Other than that, loving the story so far. (Except the name Midnight Flame... Seriously?) C:
This main character is a bit Gary-stu-ish but I like it :D
And that ending was just cute
LUNA IS THE BEST PRINCESS!!!!!!
LUNA IS BEST PRINCESS!!!
Perm transformation it is then. That's a shame, I was hoping it would be an on and off thing throughout the story. Dialogue is sorta cheesy but meh I've seen action flicks with cheesier (Last action hero anyone?). Hopefully that won't be the case later on or.. whatever. Either way... onward to the next chapter to see what happens.
I could easily see this whole story being handled differently to cause more of an emotional impact. More wordy descriptions to draw the scene on longer and break up the dialogue to something a bit more believable... However, I am, by no means, NOT enjoying myself; things just seem to be progressing a bit... Quickly...
2279844 u mad?
Ship with Luna is set. Engage thrusters... wait... that sounds wrong
I'm trying. I really am. But please, please, do something unpredictable. I'm hoping this pans out and turns into an awesome story later, but you are killing me right now.
*Face-desks again*
This was actually well done. More of this please.
Hollow words of flattery, spoken from lips that know not who they praise. As such, such words are sweet, but mean nothing.
And stop shipping him with everything that has a pulse and is female!
Oh wow I’m crying. That was beautiful!
Eeehhhh, not really a fan of how easily he just tosses aside his humanity...... was hoping he wouldn't make it permanent. This is supposed to be a Human in Equestria story, yet only 12 chapters in and already he's decided to cast off his human body with very little thought to it.
11191225
I don't know about you but if I was in that situation I would do the same
Plus he probably understands things like power.
Alicorns are more or less power incarnate
Now what would happen if all that powe had nothing to contain it?
11191225
A bit jarring, but I personally wouldn't hesitate either. Immorality seemingly without most of the drawbacks beside outliving almost everyone, power to protect those you cherish, access to flight and magic. On top of that he knows there's no way back, so going natural is the only way to have a normal family in the future. The only downside is lack of hands, but those can be imitated with magic.