• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen May 10th, 2016



It's time to wrap up Winter again, but this time it's different, organised, quicker and for AJ, confusing as there's one old friend she can't bear to look at...

Editing for the first chapter done by Desavlos
Editing for the other chapters done by Kean

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 27 )

That was funny. I loved the applebloom part at the end. I can't wait for the next chapter. This is going to be funny.

5064288 Thanks I plan to have the next chapter done in the next couple of weeks, I'm glad you enjoyed:pinkiehappy:

oh great! now I got that Twilight is my bestist friend woopie song stuck in my head, when i first heard it it was stuck in my head for a few weeks and it drives my friends cra-cra!:pinkiecrazy:

5068353 Sorry, I just don't know what went wrong:derpyderp1:

5068389 Oh now i can hear derpy singing it but instead shes singing winter fall down winter fall down, im the derpyist poneh, omg i should totally make something like that, IM A GENIUS :twilightsheepish:

I like where this is Going, Looking forward to the next Chapter.

5127844 thx the next chapter will be relesed on Monday:ajbemused::pinkiecrazy:

Nice job with Sassafly. I can't wait to read the next chapter. This is going to be great. Great job.

Drat. It had a very good premise, but PLEASE get yourself an editor! :facehoof:

5137381 I'm so sorry spelling and grammer is not my strong point, i will try to improve it in the future:fluttercry:

5137381 I looked at it again more closely and fixed any mistakes I saw. Thank you for pointing it out to me, this is my first Fan-Fic so I'm still getting to grips with things.:derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::twilightsheepish:

5137381 promise* might want to look up the definition of premise before using it again :3

Premise: noun, A proposition supporting or helping to support a conclusion.

5203910 What do you mean by that (just asking):pinkiesmile:

I like it, but please proofread next time? I kinda feel like this was a raw version. It needs to be edited. Although I don't know how this editor thing works, but I'm a boss at editing:coolphoto:, and I'm not a troll. I wouldn't delete everything, if the editor actually goes into the actual document. :applejackunsure:

Nice start BTW!

5140377 The best way is to proofread and read it aloud. Also I'm seeing lots of exclamation points where they shouldn't be. For example:

"Sure is Rainbow Dash" she replied ignoring the last part!

Also TRANSITIONS!!! Pwease? Use transitions.:raritydespair:

"Calm down sugercube what got y'all in a fuss about" Pinkie was hopping from leg to leg like a filly that needed a pee! "What party"

I... What? Please explain.

inside by a certain pink e
Earth Pony, suddenly a shadow

What the...

And lastly please capitalize proper nouns, have a new line for every dialogue quote, and USE PUNCTUATION! I cannot stress that enough!:raritydespair::raritydespair: And also spelling. The bold is incorrect for the first, and the opposite for the second.

Applejack felt herself being push toward an orange stallion she gased up in to his massive blue eyes, "Hey Caramel" she smiled softly at him but remained silent as she looked around: Twilght had been paired with a stalion Applejack didn't reconise (He was proberly new) and fluttershy was paired with her brother! Oh she was going to have so much fun teasing her brother about this later!


Applejack herself being pushed towards an orange stallion. She gazed up into his massive blue eyes.
"Hey Caramel," she smiled softly at him, but remained silent as she looked around: Twilight had been paired with a stallion Applejack didn't recognize (he was probably new), and Fluttershy was paired with... her brother! Oh she was going to have so much fun teasing him about this later!

Just pointing that out! Good luck! Like I said before, I'm BOSS at editing.

5253632 yeah I know the first chapter is being edited and and the second chapter will be edited soon, sorry for ant trouble and thank you for commenting:pinkiehappy:

hey I know you guys complained about grammer and spelling but the first chapter if fixed to best of me and my editor abilty and the second chapter is get edited i will now edit my chapter before publishing, Thank for the advice:pinkiehappy:

5286844 chapter 3 coming soon

I wouldn't trust Sassha again Caramel. Especially if she just land down and accused you of cheating. Thanks for the update. I forgot about this story.

5814436 ive been busy im glad you enjoyed it felt terrible writing a chatacter as much of a bitch as sassaflash

5814521 I guess that is true. The only good time to write them is when something bad is going to happen to them.

5814684 she'll get her payback eventually

Woo. Yay! FlutterMac and CaramelApple? Some boldness, Evey. :derpytongue2:

5818697 Im a massive shipper and im not afraid to admit it :derpyderp2: but is kinda asking for trouble even more when i bring soarindash to the picture

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