Amy In Equestria : A New Life

by Amy_Yu_Xuan

Welcome To Ponyville Party!

"Which color do you want?" Pinkie asked, her face leaned against mine. We were decorating for the Amy In Ponyville party and Rarity made me sit down and just tell them what I wanted and which color do I pick. I had offered to help, but Rarity lifted me with her magic and made me, or practically FORCE me to stay put on the couch. (The one she summons whenever she says something's the worst thing ever) I sighed and just played along. I told Pinkie that I'd rather Pink and Purple like me mane color, which Rarity helped to braid it. Pinkie objected and said Pink and BLUE would fit me.

"It is Amy's Party." Rarity stated.

"Girls..."

"Yeah but Blue just suits her!" Pinkie argued back.

"Girls..." Fluttershy whimpered softly in the background.

"Pinkie, it's OBVIOUS Amy wants it her mane color." Rarity coaxed.

''Girls..."

"But its OBVIOUS blue suits her better!"

"GIRLS!!" Fluttershy yelled.

"Yes, darling, I know. You agree with me don't you? That lavishing purple and pink hair. Makes me want to dye mine!" Rarity gushed.

"What if we combine pink, purple and blue? And please don't change your mane color, we like it just the way it is." Fluttershy smiled.

Pinkie and Rarity nodded their heads and started tying streamers and banners around. I shook my head playfully and looked at where Applejack and Rainbow Dash were doing. Apparently they were having a 'Who can blow the most balloons' contest. And so far, the farmer was winning by two balloons.

"How many balloons have you got there, AJ? Probably less, I've got 6 down!'' The rainbow colored mane pony said.

"That's it? Aw, Celestia. You 'r gonna hafe ta work faste' round here! I've got eight down!" The earth pony laughed. Rainbow groaned and they continued blowing the balloons.

I glanced over at Fluttershy who was trying to tie the banner that read 'Welcome to Ponyville!' onto both sides of the lamp poles. I got up to my feet- er- hooves and started to flap my wings, trying to fly up to her. I lifted myself off the ground for about a meter before falling, landing with a thud on the paved road. Rainbow and Twilight heard me and rushed to my aid.

"Are you hurt?" Twilight asked worriedly.

"Nah. I'm fine." I told them as I got back to my hooves.

"Darling, I told you to stay put. This party is meant for you, we wouldn't want you getting hurt." Rarity said and teleported me back on the couch.

"But. I. Want. To. Help!" I said as she teleports me back with every word I says.

"Alright, then. If you get hurt before the party, don't say I din't warn you." She said, unconvinced.

I smiled and got to work, helping Twilight win the crown pass out invitations for the party, it was of course, held at Sugarcube corner.

A few hours later, ponies came streaming into Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie invited EVERYPONY in Ponyville. I thought nopony would come, guess they wouldn't miss a party for the world. Ponies were chatting, eating, drinking and playing. Once Pinkie was sure that everypony had came, she grabbed a microphone from no where and announced, " Welcome everypony! " She started to introduced me and Rarity levitated me up the stage. I was loss for words and just smiled. " Now, dig in!" Pinkie finished before everypony scrambled to the buffet table. I turned around and saw that Pinkie was preparing the 'Pin the Tail on The Pony' game. I trotted over and got in line.

"You don't have to queue, the party is for you." Pinkie said. I told her I would rather just queue. Rainbow heard us and Dashed over.
"The party is meant for you. Your like... the VIP!" Rainbow said. I hesitated, but walked to the front of the line, where Rainbow blindfolded me and placed the tail on my hoof. Cautiously, i felt like it was the right place and pinned up the tail. I quickly untied the blindfold, to see I pinned it... right on the spot! Pinkie and Rainbow cheered heartily as I made my way over to the apple bobbing game.

Applejack and Twilight was putting back the apples when I got there. They noticed me and asked me to have a go.
"Alright. What harm can there be?" I said with a shruge. I dipped my head into the water and clenched something between my teeth. I raised my head and realised that the chicken, or Boneless, Cheese gave Pinkie was in between my teeth.

"Boneless?" Applejack sounded surprised. I trotted back to the Pin the tail on The Pony game.
"Ready for another round, Amy?" PINKIE ASKED Pinkie asked. (Oops. Caps lock suck.) I shoock my head and returned Boneless to her.
"Oh! I was looking for him allll~~ day!" Pinkie Pie laughed. I smiled and trotted over to the buffet table.

As I slowly balanced a plate on my hoof, I heard Twilight talking behind me.
"Need some help?" She asked, before levitating my plate, along with hers and helping me pick out all the food and placing them onto the plate. I thanked her and took my plate back, walking to the tables where afew other ponies were eating. I saw Fluttershy and sat next to her.

"May I join you?" I asked the timid pegasus. She nodded her head and we ate in silence.

A few hours later, ponies started dismissing themselves and the amount of them subsided, until it was only left with the girls, Spike and I. We started to pack up and clean up the place and finished forty five minutes later. I returned to Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie (Sry, we were already at Sugarcube corner. Lol) I returned upstairs with Pinkie as we waved goodbye to the rest.

"Goodnight Pinkie." I told her and I entered the guest room and went to sleep.

Comments

[Amy_Yu_Xuan]

I'm done with 3rd chap!

[NgKQ]

Hey there!!!
Your story looks fascinating...
Where are you from?

[Pump It Up]

The only major problem I have is that you need to remove the strikeouts and the asides (your comments in-story).

You're doing great! Keep it up!

[Amy_Yu_Xuan]

4961656 Singapore.

[Amy_Yu_Xuan]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!? I KNOW THIS STORY SUCKS TO MANY PPL AND YOUR ALL "Oh? I can write 200X better than you!" BUT SRSLY?! MAKING GRPS CALLED Rage Reviews!, Plan 9 From Equestria: 2, Overly Stupid Fanfiction and No Originality Brigade??? WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING... FORGET ABOUT THAT, WHY WOULD FIMFICTION EVEN ALLOW THAT?! THEY HAVE A GAWD DAMN STUPID RULE THAT A SHIT STORY MUST BE OVER GAWD DAMN 1000 WORDS LONG, WHY CAN'T THEY FREAKING BANN THIS TYPE OF SHIT ASS GROUP!? I AM LITTERALLY MAD, VERY MAD. AND I MIGHT EVEN DELETE THIS STORY FULL OF RAGE, if I did not like Pinkie Pie of course... GETTING BACK TO THE POINT. I COULD BE THE YOUNGEST AND NEWEST WRITER OF THE FREAKING INTERNET AND THIS IS JUST MY SECOND FIC! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT BEFORE ADDING MY STORY TO STUPID DAMN GROUPS CALLED (Rage Reviews!) URGHH!!!! WAS GONNA MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER RIGHT NOW, BUT GUESS I CAN FORGET ABOUT THAT SHIT IDEA NOW!!

[Amy_Yu_Xuan]

Why can't one appreciate? Why must one hate? Why can't the world be filled with peace, instead of arguements they make? Why did god create humans, but let them destroy themselves. Why did someone started hate, and make the rest deshelf? I wish the world was full of , happiness and cheerful smiles, we should make proud.
~ Amy

[The Guardian and Friends]

4961333

No it isn't. Though I took out the story from the group, considering it's neutral

[PegaSeraph]

I dont think Rarity can teleport
I have seen only twily do it
(but I stil like it)

[Green Hills]

Hello, once again...

So far, your writing really improved since your first story, and overall, it does look good. I even like the groups you put in there. As a start, your description is good, and dialogue and spelling has improved. It's an impressive improvement.

While I do agree with 4955918, 4952161 and 4948539, there are some grammar defects as I read (sometimes I have to reread a certain paragraph to understand what is going on ). The pacing on this is slightly out of place, and there are some stuff that could be taken out (like the crossed out words and parentheses). It's understandable if English is not your first language .

Now, as for criticism... As agreed to 4948997, there will be people here who act like jerks, and those who will act like professionals. As far as I know since I joined the fandom, I really don't understand why people would hate with self-insertions and/or HIEs . The best advice I can give you if you get all these hate comments is just ignore them. While I generally enjoy writing HIE fics, I do sometimes receive some hateful comments. If you ever get any of those, don't send a hateful message back. They want you to do that so that others will think negatively of you. Just ignore them, and take the advice from people who give it to you. It will help you in your writing, and it will help you in your future stories.

Overall, this story is enjoyable. Much better than your first, and I will watch it. Just to give you a tip, keep doing what you love, and ignore those who oppose it. Yes, it is difficult for a first-timer here, but eventually, you will get used to it. There will be people to help out

[The Cardboard Box]

I told Pinkie I'd rather Pink and Purple lik me mane color.

Arrr! What be the idea of this pirate lingo? Ye scurvy dog!

[The Cardboard Box]

4962243 Woah, there! Cool your jets! Remaining calm is very important whilst dealing with anger.

[hailspider]

4962243 Wow, usually us at Rage Reviews don't get hate until after we review the story. I think it was added for comparing and contrasting with the original anyway.
Also, we do review good things sometimes, not just bad things.
Disclaimer: I am an admin of that group and am obviously biased towards it.

[Black John]

4962243 Saw this story in my feed, added to one of the groups I follow. I know you're a novice writer, and that's good! I love seeing others pursue their passions in writing!

But I'm going to tell you this, and you can rage all you want, but if you cannot take criticism, you have no business writing.

Not all criticism is constructive, I know that, but unless it's shit like "u suk an ur stry suk wors", deal with it. Learn from it. Sometimes you need to have someone take the piss out of ya to learn. That's all I have to say.

Anyways, keep writing, but don't freak out over criticism. It's offered for a reason.

[The Blessed One]

4948363 Oh my God! Your mind is horrible!

[The Blessed One]

4962243 What you've just typed is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read.
At no point in your rambling, in-coherent comment were you ever close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Everyone who has read this comment is now dumber for doing so.
I hereby award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[LunaScribbles]

Amy, I had some fics that were included in plan 9 but did I do anything about it? Yes, all you have to do is rewrite, BUT if the 2nd chance doesn't work... Throw in the towel. I was always in plan 9 until I made fics that were good. Hope your rewrites will serve you well Amy.