Wanna Hang Out?

Spitfire and Soarin were just accepted into the Wonderbolts, but must practice and train before they can start any shows. This means the two newbies will have to spend a lot of time together and get to know each other.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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Jingle

Jingle #1 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·

I felt the ending was rushed and Spitfire was a bit out of character, though I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Nice work.

Rariity7

Rariity7 #2 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·

Thanks! I was getting tired at the end and about to go to bed and just wanted to get it finished. xD

ShadowblazeCR

ShadowblazeCR #3 · Jul 29th, 2014 · · ·

Great story, I say it deserves a like. I only saw a few things so here they are.

"Fells better already,"

Feels not fells

"I... Um, thanks," I muttered, trotting off to my apartment, leaving Soarin alone, watching me go.

Um shouldn't be capitalized and that seems to be to many commas.

the Pegasus that crashed into my life yesterday

Pegasus shouldn't be capitalized.

I let this go on for a few moments before braking the kiss.

Breaking not braking

and my first instinct was to push him away, but yet I didn't want to.

Try
yet I didn't want to.

Also try to indent, I know it's some simple thing that you may not care about, but look at any published book. It has them indented. Just something to think about. Anyways, if you want any help in future stories just tell me.

Till the next one

-R

The Cosmic Consciousness