Inspired the second chorus of the song "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood. Scootaloo and her twin unicorn sister, Emerald Glow, live in an abandoned warehouse and give each other strength. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are trying to find out where they live after they say the Cutie Mark Crusaders can't have a sleepover at their house.
ANOTHER NOTE: I've changed the story slightly because a.) I realized I have no clue what Emy's hidden talent is so her name has been changed and b.) I thought it needed to be less Mary Sue-ish (I just learn what a Mary Sue is so I'm trying to fix that).
Chapters (1)
The last line is a bit... overused and generally untrue. Ah well, the story was pretty good (although you might want to fix the pursuing part: You said perusing AND pursers, which should be pursuing and pursuers respectively)
give us a prequel
554969
Well if you have read my other fanfics, not songfics or songs, you would know that its my style. More in depth on my style is that I am known to give Scootaloo a twin because I do think she's an orphan and I just couldn't make it so she had no family. I didn't want a big sibling like RD to take care of her nor a younger sibling like Pipsqueak for her to take care of. I thus choose twins so they could be on the same playing field.
555961I guess it's on me for not having read your other stories. I was just speaking my mind that it could have been the same story without the OC. This, in my mind, presented an unnecessary obstruction.( It could also be my personal dislike of OCs unless completely necessary)
I just meant to speak my mind and I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way.
Nice work and I love how you incorporated the lyrics. Carrie Underwood is one my favorite artists and Temporary Home is in my opinion of her best songs. Now while others may not see the need for Emy, I liked having her even if we didn't know much about her in this story. I like the fact that even though this story is a common trope of Scoots being homeless, you did something different by giving her a sister that wasn't Dash. I'll admit that I am a sucker for stories where Dash and Scoots are sisters but it is nice to see something different every now & then. Good work.
2270805 Also I just had to find this.
While I can hardly criticise you for wanting to include an OC, I do myself all the time, they need to have a point, and in this case it really didn't. The OC wasn't necessarily bad but just felt very unnecessary to the plot being told. Speaking of, while I never object to repeated themes as long as they're good ones, this story does retreat a bit too much familiar ground that's been done to death.
No upvote from me but no down vote either, nothing was particularly striking but nothing stood out as god awful either.