• Member Since 9th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 20th, 2019

Cinnamon Clover


A pegasister trying to figure out her place in life.

E
Source

I ask you/What is family?

AJ and Rainbow are about to find out when Rainbow Dash is adopted by Rose, Applejack's mother.


Special thanks to everyone who reads the "Believe" series and also to the no longer existing, Cubette, who wrote this series' original prequel, Give to Good Home.


UPDATE!


On hiatus till at least 5/82013.

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 30 )

At first, I wanted to say something along the lines of how I have never seen this idea played out with RD and the Apple family.
But as I thought about it...
...I realized...
... poor Macintosh. Now he has two excessively stubborn little sisters (Applebloom not included).

Reading.

2105638
I'm sorry to tell you this but I don't really do anything with him. Ever. I'm too scared I'll make a mistake and an angry mob will form.

Repeated scene at the end?

2106766
No, slightly different from the one in Sisters of Different Blood.

2106760
What did you like about it? I like random compliments as much as the next pegasis but I don't think I can recreate it in the other chapters without knowing what I'm doing right.

Your doing everything right:pinkiehappy: that why I love it :ajsmug::rainbowwild:

Comment posted by Cinnamon Clover deleted Feb 12th, 2013

2108362
Wait, so does that mean my story sucks or not? Discorded AJ is prone to lying but I wanna be sure.:applejackunsure:

Beautifull story! When comes the next chapter?

A couple of things. First, I don't know if that's an accidentally repeated paragraph towards the end or if you were switching points of view after AJ tripped over the rock and helped Dash up.

Second, the following part is a bit weird.

AJ looked up again to see that the filly was already gone. She had to get up to pace with the filly before she lost her.

“Ahh!” screamed the voice of a filly about her age from behind.

Put together like you did above leaves a confusing gap where we have no idea what's going on or which character's point of view we are looking at this from. At first I through it was AJ, and I had to re-read it a few times to understand what was happening. Instead, put something between the lines such as: Trotting quickly towards where the other pony had gone, she turned the corner and her hoof found a rock. She tripped, stumbling and falling uncontrolled towards the pony she was chasing.

Then after that you can do something like: Dash heard a cry from behind her. "Ahhh!"

That lets us see the action as it happens, smooth and coherent, and then immediately tells us that RD is the one hearing the voice.

And here I thought I had an original idea with my "Friends and Family" storyline.

2322010
You're writing fanfiction. Hard to get really original when writing stuff for our pony-rific pals. Just try to make your writing style your own and you're in the goods. However, I think you'll be more interested my other story, My Unexpected Gift.

2323032
Well so far that one's proving to be an interesting read, but at the time I was certain the sister interpretation of Appledash was something unexplored.

2323035
Sorry, but even I got that from somepony else and expanded on it. Though, I have actually expanded it over the course of several stories.

2323047
Well if I can't be original at least I can know I'm in good company.

2323056
Well, the pony I originally got the idea from deleted the story. That's why I started writing this in the first place, to replace the prequel to my work.

Hey can I have a link to Give to Good Home.

2350078
Nope, it was removed. Deleted. No longer exists.

3768830 ...i forgot what Give to good Home was about now...40 weeks is a looong time :rainbowlaugh:

3770183
I'll sum it up for you. Rainbow Dash is found, taken in and, later, adopted by Applejack's mother, Rose Apple. Applejack and Rainbow don't seem to get along very well and, for the majority of the story, Applejack seems even a bit angry at her for unknown reasons. It ends with Rose dying from an unnamed disease that she has apparently been battling with for a while, and the two fillies, in wake of this tragedy, make amends.

3772736 wow....now I kinda want that re.-written, it sounds like an awesome story! Why was it deleted?

3775062
Not a clue as to why, but I'm trying to fix that with the story. I plan on introducing Applejack's father, John Apple, when I actually pick up my notebook and do the transfer. I imagine some varying amount of family stress, not a whole lot of unexplainable sibling strife. It will eventually turn into that, but not for at least another five chapters.

3775767 yeah...when is this fic updating anyway?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!