Moonbeam56
Joined 25th Mar, 2013 ·
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please keep making chapters until this story is finished
I can see some errors. Good story, just need to slow down on typing and your pacing. Other than those things, I would like to see how this story plays out.
I wouldn't be surprised if Scoots turned out to be Big Mac and Fluttershy's foal.
Eye color and the lack of blue hair pigment kind of makes that seem like a little stretch. As for the story I think it is kind of funny but also pretty wrong at the same time. Doing that when a child is not occupied or going to be for very long is pretty bad. If the story was longer it probably would have helped. I'm neutral with this story, no up or downvote.
If you could make some longer chapters, good so far too.
4032408 In the show!? They would have a lot of explaining to do and a lot of plot holes to fill if that was the case.
4036609 It would screw everything if it became canon. But... I think it's been implied in several fics. If she's not Mac and 'Shy's foal, chances are that Scoots is either Rainbow's sister or daughter, depending on the fic.
On the other hand, there is no mention of her parents in canon. If that's not the case, then the entirety of the Mane Six and the other two Crusaders could be her honorary family. (Remember in the episode with the Flim Flam Brothers, Applejack stated that Twilight is her honorary sister. Pinkie Apple Pie means that AJ treats Pinkie in the same boat as 'Twi.)
Okay. The basic idea is pretty solid, and I'm 100% in favor of more stories where Fluttermac are Scootaparents. (Side note: Fluttermom is not dead)
Now, I'm assuming this is a sequel to Don't let me fall. This kinda takes care of the problem of Fluttermac being Scootaparents and not already being married (though I have no doubt that if Mac were to knock up a filly, he'd marry her because he's a good guy and also Granny Smith would geld him if he didn't)
That said, this story has some pretty significant problems with pacing and insufficient details. There are also some instances of tense confusion, shifting between present and past tense. What this feels like is a skeleton of a story, not a full story.
Not enough smex.
Is this dead?