• Published 15th Mar 2014
  • 3,367 Views, 50 Comments

Don't ever say... - F1utt3rshy



Sometimes a mistake can be more costly than you think, and sometimes it makes everything better.

  • ...
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Hope

It was a typical afternoon in Equestria, the sun was shining, the birds chirping their melodies for all to hear, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had just finished the latest escapade in trying to discover their special talents which, of course brought forth no such marks for the trio. But getting their marks wasn't what was on the minds of the three as they stood outside their now wrecked clubhouse that afternoon, which through a series of events caused by none other than Sweetie Belle, was in a state of disrepair, being little more than a pile of demolished wood and dead tree branches scattered about the group as they stood by the stump of tree that used to be their headquarters. The ruining of the clubhouse hadn't only brought with it sadness, for you see it also brought froth anger, more specifically Apple Bloom's anger towards the culprit Sweetie Belle, who was currently in a one-sided argument over the demolition of the structure. Scootaloo watched from the sidelines, not garnering towards either of her friends' sides. She observed silently as the two bickered, unsure of what to do.

"It was an accident." Sweetie said, staring at the ground, unable to meet her friends gaze.

"I understand it was an accident Sweets, but think about it. Who do you think is gonna hafta rebuild it now. You know how long it'll take ta fix it? We can't right do any crusadin' without a base of operations." Apple Bloom replied, glaring slightly at her friend.

"I could help you rebuild it... And I think Scoots would too." Sweetie said, lifting her head and staring at Scootaloo for reassurance.

"Yeah, I'd be more than happy to help." Scootaloo stated, staring back and forth between the two.

Apple Bloom stood there for a moment, silently thinking to herself, whilst looking back and forth from her two friends. "No, I don't want your help. You'd probably just destroy it again anyway. I’d like ta get the clubhouse back up in one piece, thank you very much."

A deep frown forms on Sweeties face and her eyes start watering up. "Oh... Ok then. I'm sorry for ruining the clubhouse I really am, but... I need to get away from here." Sweetie stares at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo for a moment before turning around and galloping away, the sound of sobbing could be heard as she ran.

Scootaloo, seeing her friend run away, developed a similar frown and turned toward Apple Bloom. "Did you have to be so hard on her Bloom? I know you’re angry and you have every right to be but we both know that it wasn't her fault. It was an accident, and I could tell she was truly sorry for what happened. She wanted to try and fix her mistake, but you drove her away."

Apple Bloom finally stopped and realized what she was doing in her anger. Her mouth soon contorted from an angry expression to one of a more saddened variety and she sighed. "Yer right. She didn't cause this and definitely didn't deserve that. What I did was uncalled for. I need ta fix this." She then began to trot after Sweetie, calling her name but was soon stopped by Scootaloo, who put a hoof on her shoulder.

"Bloom, wait. She’s gone. Just give her some time I'm sure that everything will be back to normal soon. I'll go over to her place tomorrow and sort this all out don't you worry. I want you to go and get some rest... we've got a busy day ahead of us if you want to get the clubhouse rebuilt anytime soon."

Apple Bloom turned back to Scootaloo and embraced her in a hug “Thank you Scoots... I just hope she can forgive me."

"I'm sure she will Bloom just give her time, but I promise you I'll make this right." Scootaloo replies, returning the hug, knowing in her mind that she would make everything better.

Apple Bloom pulled out of the hug about a minute later, then stared up at the sky seeing the stars coming out. "Well, I think its bout' time for me to head in... See you tomorrow Scoots?"

"Bright and early." Scootaloo says with a small smile as she watched her friend head towards her home. After a moment she grabbed her scooter and headed off, hoping Sweetie was ok.

While Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were talking, Sweetie ran as fast as she could to Carousel Boutique, where she was currently staying while her parents were on a vacation in Los Pegasus. Upon arriving , she promptly opened the door and silently made her way upstairs to the guest room, she was currently occupying and jumped on the bed. She buried her head in one of the pillows and silently cried herself to sleep, feeling terrible about herself.


Sweetie Belle tossed and turned in her slumber, a terrifying nightmare playing out, which every half-hour or so would become unbearable, and she would wake in a sweat. It was a nightmare of resentment and broken friendships, specifically of her and Apple Blooms friendship dissipating into nothingness. Sometimes it was different though. Sometimes Scootaloo would join Apple Bloom, and the crusaders would break up and sometimes they would pretend that she didn't exist. But, one thing always remained the same and that was the fact that she was the one who caused it and that she, at least in her Dreamscape, believed she deserved their resentment. After three or so more nightmares, the latest being particularly grueling for the filly, she decided to give up on sleep and just sat in her bed, waiting for morning.

After some time, she got thirsty and got up out of her bed, quickly making her way to the kitchen of the Boutique. While she poured herself a glass of water, she couldn't help but look up at the clock that was placed above one of the cabinets. She sighed when her gaze met it, as it read only one AM, and she knew in her mind that she had a long night ahead of her. After drinking her water, she made her way back up to the guest room and silently closed the door, waiting for the sun to rise, thinking to herself all the while.


Scootaloo slowly wakes up and yawns before opening her eyes. The sun was lightly shining, just making it above the horizon and a rooster could be heard. She sat up and stretched her limbs and wings before yawning once more and gets up, quickly checking the time and seeing it was seven AM. She tidied up her mane and tail before eating herself some breakfast and checking her scooter for problems. Once her hunger and inspection were completed, she got up once again and headed out in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

As Scootaloo rode through Ponyville, the streets nearly empty, she could help but think to herself. She played the events of the day prior in her head and thought about the promises she had made, which she fully planned to keep. She formed a mental schedule for the day to come as she went by shops and pedestrians as they went the merry way, not bothering the filly as she rode. As she passed by the Boutique she couldn't help but stop and take a moment to recollect once again to the day before. She noticed that the room Sweetie Belle stayed in had the blinds close, a peculiar thing having known Sweetie like them open. She stayed a few more moments, contemplating whether she should check on Sweetie now or later but decided to give her a little more time. After taking one last glance at the building she rode off towards the outskirts of Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres.


Sweetie Belle's ear perked up from the light sound of buzzing that she thought she heard from outside. She lifted her head from the pillow she had buried it in and listened closely, unsure she heard correctly. After some silence, she decided to go check the outside and silently trotted up to her window, pulling back the blinds just an unnoticeable smidgen and looking out. At first she saw nothing, but then noticed Scootaloo's scooter outside her window and the filly close by it. She gasped almost inaudibly and watched the filly, who appeared to be in deep thought. She wondered if Scootaloo was going to attempt to see her, but then she got back on her scooter and rode off, the sound of her wings buzzing lightly as she disappeared around a corner. Sweetie moved away from the window and returned to her bed, sighing a sigh of both relief and sadness.


Scootaloo rode into the Apple's farm half an hour later, having had to slow down upon entering. She casually glanced over the trees as she past, taking in the serenity of the place. The calming chirps of the birds and the gentle swaying of the trees calmed her as she rode up through the south field. She rode towards the Main Building, which housed the Apple family themselves, but she slowed once she heard the distinct sound of tree-bucking near her. She decided to investigate and hopped off her scooter, not wanting to startle whoever was working. She walked through a few trees before seeing Applejack.

"Hey Applejack?" Is Apple Bloom home?" she asked as AJ turned towards her.

Applejack stares upwards for a moment before responding. "Yeah, I reckon she's still in, it bein' a weekend and all. She seemed awfully distraught last night though. Yall wouldn't happen to know why that was would ya?"

Scootaloo rubs the back of her neck, smiling sadly. "Her and Sweets ...they kind of got into a fight. Sweets accidentally destroyed our clubhouse and Bloom... she didn't take that so well. Sadly, they didn't leave on good terms last night, but that's why I'm here to fix everything." She said, with a determined look.

"Oh... Well, I guess all I can say is the best of luck. I'm sure you three will be right as rain in no time. Well, I gotta get back to bucking feel free to go see Apple Bloom." she responded before continuing her laborious work.

"Thanks AJ" Scootaloo said before heading off for the Farmhouse. She slowly strode up to the house and parked her scooter outside before walking up and knocking on the doors. While she waited for a reply, she scraped some dirt of her hoofs. She heard some commotion coming up towards the door and prepared to greet the opener. The door unlocked and opened, revealing none other the Apple Bloom herself, wearing saddlebags full of all sorts of tools and blueprints.

"Morning Scoots, how’d ya sleep?" She greeted with a happy smile, glad to see her friend once more.

"I'm good, thanks for asking." She takes a peak at Apple Blooms saddlebags. "I see you’re prepared to start working... I am too." she says returning the smile.

"You bet I am." She responds with a grin. "Oh, where are my manners, come on in." Apple Bloom hastily finished, opening the door further to allow her friend access. Scootaloo said her thanks and quickly enter, noting the smell of apple pie coming from the kitchen nearby, but disregarding it. The two walk up on a set of stairs and entered the Apple Bloom's room. Scootaloo sat down on the bed while Apple Bloom took off and opened her saddlebags, grabbing a notepad and pencil and joining her on the bed.

"So, I was thinking." Apple Bloom began, sifting through the notebook as she talked. "Maybe this wasn't entirely a bad thing. The way I've been seeing it is that this is an opportunity, an opportunity to make what was great even better. Why keep everything the same when we can make it better you know?" She paused to hoof Scootaloo the notebook, which was turned to a page full of ways and ideas to make the new clubhouse even better. As Scootaloo looked through the book, taking note of the ideas with a small smile blooming, Apple Bloom dove back into her bags, producing a grand blueprint which she unfolded on the ground near the two. It showed a clubhouse, much like the one previous, but different all the same. “Just think... Remember how whenever it would rain the ceiling would leak? That won’t be a problem this time. We could make the main room, even bigger, so we'd have enough room to do things that we couldn't do before, try new things and get our marks. It'll be bigger and better than ever before, I just know that to be true... You see it too, right Scoots?" She finished looking at her friend for approval.

Scootaloo was in a state of awe as she listened to her friend’s passionate speech and looked over the idea in the notebook. She sat in silence for a few moments rereading the book before looking up to Apple bloom, beaming, before jumping up in her excitement. "You’re darn right I do! Bloom, where'd you come up with all this?" She says, motioning to the notebook. "That is amazing, I never would have thought of half the things in there and you're right, this wasn't a curse as it first seemed to be... This was a blessing! I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get started! You’re a genius!" Scootaloo embraces Apple Bloom in a deep hug, the receiver blushing at the praise, but returning the hug nonetheless.

After the two broke their embrace, they quickly began brainstorming plans for their new clubhouse, caught up in the excitement. Plans were made, and hours passed by like minutes and soon the sun was just past its midpoint, on its way back down the sky. Scootaloo noticed this and quickly said her goodbyes, the two promising to continue the next day, and got on her Scooter, heading out of the acres. She rode through Ponyville blazingly fast, but stopped as she passed by the Boutique, almost forgetting that she was going to meet up with Sweetie in her excitement. She hopped of her Scooter and went to the door and knocked.


After Scootaloo rode off Sweetie had returned to her bed. She sat there in her silence for a bit until her sister knocked on the door. "Sweetie, you up yet darling?" her sister asked from the door and the only reply she got was silence. She slowly opened the door and quickly noticed her sister's state and rushed over to her, enveloping her in a heartfelt hug. "What’s wrong, Sweetie?" More silence. "Whatever it is you can tell me.” More silence. "Sweetie, please tell me... If you want I can promise that nothing you say will leave this room just please tell me." Sweetie returned the hug and began sobbing.

"I... I screwed up." Sweetie said between sobs into her sister's shoulder.

"How'd you screw up Sweetie?" Rarity asks, strengthening the hug.

"I destroyed the clubhouse on accident and then me and Bloom got into a fight." She continues sobbing.

"What happened?" Rarity asks with genuine concern.

"I... I... I don't want to talk about it if that's ok." She cries for a little longer in the embrace of her sister before pushing away from the hug. “Can I go for a walk outside?"

"Of course, darling just be safe." Rarity says, unsure of whether or not that's a good idea, but deciding to let her sister go hoping that she’ll be ok.

Sweetie sniffles. "Thanks sis, I'll be back soon." Sweetie gets up from her bed and heads out of her room, making a direct path to the door and leaving soon after.

Rarity sighed before tidying up Sweeties room, hoping her sister would be alright.

Sweetie walked through the streets of midday Ponyville, keeping her gaze straight ahead and ignoring everypony she passed. She occasionally glanced back as if expecting something, but always returned her stare forward at the end. She walked for what seemed like hours until she came back up to the boutique. She thought about returning back to her room, but decide that she wanted to think things through a little longer, so she walked to Ponyville park and sat on an empty bench. She barely noticed Scootaloo zoom off towards the Boutique and sighed to herself.


As Scootaloo knocked on the door, she could hear the sound of a sewing machine running and the shutting off at her knock. She heard hoof steps approaching the door.

“Just a moment." Rarity called out from inside before making herself more presentable. She walked to the door and after a quick look over opened it. "Oh, why hello Scootaloo." she said with a small smile.

"Hi Rarity, is Sweetie home?" Scootaloo replied, peering into the shop a little.

Rarity frowns a little. "No, sweetheart she isn't... She went for a walk a few hours ago and hasn't been back. I'm terribly worried, if you see her let me know will you?"

"Oh... Do you know which way she went?" Scootaloo asks with a hint of disappointment.

"Sadly, I don't dealing... I'm sorry I can’t be of more help." She then proceeded to give Scootaloo a light hug. "I'm sure you'll find her." She then broke the hug and returned inside. Scootaloo stood there for a moment before deciding to search for Sweetie Belle and got on her scooter, riding off from the Boutique in a slow pace not wanting to risk missing Sweetie if she passed her.

She rode for a while, checking everywhere she could think of, even going so far as to check the acres but it was to no avail. Every minute she spent looking her heart sank, and she was soon about to give up until she passed through Ponyville park and heard the sound of light sobbing, she went toward the sound and soon found Sweetie sitting on a bench by herself, crying softly. She quietly got off her scooter and walked over to the bench sitting beside her friend.

Sweetie sits in a trance, not noticing Scootaloo for some time, the sun having begun setting when she lifted her head and turned toward Scootaloo before returning her stare to nowhere at all. Scootaloo notices this and waits a little while longer before simply stating. "Hey." The two sit in silence for a little while longer before Sweetie finally replies.

"Hey Scootaloo." Sweetie says almost inaudibly, unable to look at her friend. She stared at the ground, her ears planted firmly on the side of her head. “I’m sorry."

Scootaloo shook her head sadly. "You shouldn't be... It was an accident. You had no control over what happened yesterday ."

"Still doesn't change the fact that Bloom hates me now." Sweetie said, tears brimming from her eyes once again, but not falling just yet.

"She doesn't hate you Sweets... Yesterday she... Well, she overreacted."

"Y-yes, she does. She hates me now, she hates me, and I deserve it." Sweetie interrupted, the tears streaming down her face and cheeks slowly.

"Sweets, listen, she doesn't hate you... If anything, it’s the opposite. After you left, she immediately regretted what she said and tried to run after you, but you were already gone." Scootaloo said, a gentle smile forming on her face.

"You’re just saying that to make me feel better... She hates me, I could see it in her eyes yesterday. I'm a bad pony Scootaloo; I don't deserve to have you as my friends. I'll probably be kicked out of the Crusaders anyway, so what hope do I have?" Sweetie said, the tears flowing quite hard, she stared at the ground, unable to look up and risk seeing her friends look.

Scootaloo placed a hoof over Sweeties mouth, not wanting to hear anymore of that. "What hope do you have... Sweets, there's always hope, trust me on that."

"How is there any hope?" Sweetie asked with a sad confused look.

"There's always hope Sweetie... Even when you're giving up, there's still hope." Scootaloo stops talking, contemplating something for a moment. “Look, Sweetie... I'll let you in on a very personal secret of mine, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, ok?" Scootaloo asked with a slightly worried expression, but knowing in her heart that she could trust Sweetie.

Sweetie musters up the courage to look up and sees Scootaloo sitting next to her with a small frown. "I won’t tell anyone Scoots, I promise."

Scootaloo lets out a deep sigh of relief, trusting her friend. "I knew I could trust you... Now, where to begin." Scootaloo thinks for a moment. “You ever wonder why you and bloom have never been to my house? Or why sometimes I'd ask for some of your lunch because I didn't have any that day. Or if either of you two asked about my parents I'd dodge the question or give a quick response? Well, you see, there's a very simple yet complicated answer to all those questions, and I'm only telling you because I feel I can trust you... So here goes nothing... I'm homeless."

Sweetie sat there, a deep look of shock forming as what Scootaloo had said started to sink in. She stared at Scootaloo for what seemed like hours. “You’re-You're homeless?!?!" She asked, her voice reaching a new high in squeakiness.

"Yes... Yes, I am Sweetie, have been for quite some time now. Do you know how many nights I've had to sleep without the warmth of a blanket. The days I've gone without food because I was unable to find anything even remotely consumable. The restless nights I've spent wondering if it was worth all the hassle trying to get by. I have lost count."

"Scootaloo... I'm so sorry. If I would have known." Sweetie said, pulling Scootaloo into a hug, a hug that they both needed.

Scootaloo pushes Sweetie away slightly. “No, don't be, no one could have known that unless I told them, and no one could have known that they... That they would leave. I there's one thing I've learned Sweetie its that something in life are unavoidable and out of any one's control, but one thing always remains the same... That there is hope in even the most dire of situations and as long as we don't give up that hope we can make it through anything that is thrown at us."

"Do you really think Apple Bloom will forgive me?"

"I don't think so Sweetie... I know so. I can promise you everything will be ok. Now stop all that frowning... It makes me sad."

"Ok... Why does it make you sad?"

"It makes me sad because I hate seeing such a kind, smart... Beautiful pony so sad... I care about you Sweetie, more so than I do about most pony's and it hurts me inside when I see you sad." Scootaloo said truthfully, but, upon realizing what she had said a light blush formed on her face, and she quickly decided to try and change the subject. She looked up and noticed that the stars were out, and the moon was slowly rising. "Well, I think it’s about time for you to head home. Rarity was worried sick about you." Scootaloo then got up from the bench and quickly grabbed her scooter before riding back over to Sweetie. “I’ll see you tomorrow right Sweetie?" Scootaloo asked, worried for her friend still.

"Right... Will you walk with me until I get back to the Boutique?" Sweetie asked getting up as well.

"Sure Sweetie." Scootaloo said with a kind smile. Sweetie walked over next to Scootaloo and the two walked, talking about little things and about the days to come. Soon they were outside of Rarity’s shop, and they said the goodbyes. “You have a good night Sweetie." Scootaloo said before turning around and preparing to ride off but was stopped.

"Wait!! ... Would you like to stay the night?" Sweetie said quickly rushing over to Scootaloo before she could ride away.

"Sure Sweetie... I’d love to." She then rode off behind the boutique and hide her scooter safely before returning to the front of the shop and was immediately hugged deeply by Sweetie.

"Thank you... For everything “Sweetie said strengthening the hug before leaning closer to Scootaloo, and planting a kiss on her friend's cheek, causing the cheeks of the two to redden. She then positioned her muzzle next to Scootaloo’s ear and whispered...

"I care about you too."

Author's Note:

My first attempt at a oneshot so criticism is welcome and appreciated. This was written to be intentionally vague because i plan on writing a prequel and possibly a sequel so let me know if you'd like to see that in the future. Was, for the majority, proofread and edited by myself so i know there's bound to be some errors ...if you see any let me know and ill fix them as soon as possible.



Oh and special thanks to Flutterpieroxs for ll the help and support it was greatly appreciated.

Comments ( 50 )

Oh my.
Want to see more of this.

.if you see any let me know and ill fix them as soon as possible.

ok.

Scootaloo rubs the back of her neck, smiling sadly. "Her and Sweets ...the kinda got into a fight. Sweets accidentally destroyed our clubhouse and Bloom ...she didn't take that so well. Sadly they didn't leave on good terms last night, but that's why I'm here to fix everything." She said, with a determined look.

they

After the two broke their embrace, the quickly began brainstorming plans for their new clubhouse, caught up in the excitement. Plans were made, and hours passed by like minutes and soon the sun was just past its midpoint, on its way back down the sky. Scootaloo noticed this and quickly said her goodbyes, the two promising to continue the nest day, and got on her Scooter, heading out of the acres. She rode through Ponyville blazingly fast but stopped as she past by the Boutique, almost forgetting that she was going to meet up with Sweetie in her excitement. She hopped of her Scooter and went to the door and knocked.

Unless this is a expression. I'm not familiar with, you must have meant next day.

Nice feelings carried by the story in general, it all holds together very well as a sing idea that develops and concludes, and it worked great with the cover image.:twilightsmile:

Hopefully my criticism isn't too vague for this story.:trollestia:

~Leonzilla

4087878 fixed thanks you:pinkiehappy:


4087874 there may very well be more of this:raritywink:

4087974 I'm sure there are still many more errors. I recommend you get a proof-reader ASAP.:scootangel:

4088238 Also, I recommend doing so before posting the next time.:raritywink:

4088251 i usually tend to edit as i post so all through the week its gonna be fixed ...just the way I do things:twilightblush::twilightblush: now to find me a proofreder

To the point of envy of your skills:twilightsmile:

A sweet story. Some of the wording is awkward such as: "I deserve to not have you to as my friends" would probably flow better as "I don't deserve to have you as my friends." Also, you used 'your' rather than 'you're' in 'Your homeless'. Also a few errors with capitalization. But technical errors aside, its a very pleasant story. Bit short and compressed, but good.

Nice but could you explain how :unsuresweetie: destroyed the clubhouse.
Thanks:twilightsmile:

Typos aside, this was a great story. I approve.

4090516 finally someone asked ... i would have but i wanted to leave that open as it would have drawn away from what i was going or but hey if people want to know i can always write a sequel:pinkiehappy:

4090275 thank you ...was mean to be like that (not the errors:twilightblush:)

4091381 thank you ...still trying to get a proofreader:twilightblush:

4090934 I can fully understand that some people wont enjoy a story and i can respect your opinion but may i ask why so i can work on bettering myself and my writing in the future ... oh and thank you for even giving it a read:pinkiesmile:

4091381
4088234
4090275 is that any better on the error side of things... Just spent the good end of three hours editing:twilightsmile:

A sweet and enjoyable read. Just one teeny question, what did sweetie do to the clubhouse?

-frost :pinkiesmile:

4096329 you'll have to wait fo the prequel to find out[if i decide to do one but most definitely going to make a sequel] i intentionally left that open to leave if up to the reader to wonder:twilightsmile:

I don't know how to reply but F1utt3rshy please make a sequal soon please
I would like that:twilightsmile:

4096572 you click the >> on the comment you want to reply to ... should be about here.................'''.... ^
......................................................................................................................................................................I

4096572 oh and ill try my best:twilightsmile:

Oh man that's was FUCKING FABS!!!!

anyways Really good you seem like you have great skill but your mixing present tense and past tense words together so it's kind of confusing but over all it's really good oh and plz plz plz plz make a sequel and a prequel and you need a proofreader ASAP. ^-^

4098191 yeah i tend to do that:twilightblush: ...and i know i need a proofreader stil:twilightsmile:

I thought this was pretty good. Scootaloo seems a little out of character to me by the way she talks, and you kinda used nicknames alot, like alot alot :pinkiehappy: I would suggest to not use them so much.
But for the most part I liked it, would also love to know what Sweetie Belle did to the clubhouse and what happens after this.
8/10 Scootaloos for her lookin' out for the other crusaders! :scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

4099243 yeah i can see howd you get that ... i rp with scootloo a lot so my fanon was conflicing with canon there ... as for the sequel/prequel nothigns definate but most liky will be at least sequel, i wanted to leave what happended to the clubhouse out for discussion ... oh and im surprised bout the nicknames i do use them alot sure but i thin i use elipses a lot more:twilightsmile:

Heartwarming and fluffy, needs few grammar corrections but as you said yourself, you need a proofreader and editor so that will fix itself sooner or later :twilightsmile:

And this really does look like it needs to continue, let their feelings develop, explains how the house got destroyed, Sweetie and Bloom talking to each other, plenty of potential for continuation. :rainbowkiss:

4099477 thats why i left this so vague ...i fully plan to make sequel prolly chaptered too :twilightsmile:

There's a lot of things here that seem out of character or just don't make sense. The CMC refer to each other as "Sweets" "Scoots" and "Bloom" on a slim to none basis in canon. It was a bit annoying to read the first time and extraordinarily annoying to read for the 20th time. The argument between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle wasn't very long or particularly hurtful; it seems like a massive jump in logic on Sweetie Belle's part to assume that just because they had a short argument that one hates the other. Speaking of logic jumps, if Scootaloo was homeless (and yet was somehow staying clean and mostly well fed with enough energy to perform well enough in school not to rouse suspicion from Cheerilee in addition to cutie mark crusading), wouldn't she be living in their clubhouse then? It's literally an empty house that only the CMC go into. Expanding on that thought, wouldn't Scootaloo be far more upset that it was destroyed than Apple Bloom? Some description of how a young filly manages to actually destroy a full blown treehouse without destroying the tree in the process might be good to expand upon as well. Finally, The story is riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. You would do well to invest in an editor. A for effort I guess and there's always room for improvement.

4100046 it went supposed to be canon though i can admit i did use the nicknames quite a bit:twilightblush: as for the whole sweetie and scootaloo massive jumps of logic all i can really say there is you have a point for sweetie but for scootaloo i never specifically said she wasn't ... i deliberately left most of this story vague for a few reasons one being it not being important for say how it got destroyed but that it did and she caused it , for scootaloo being upset many things go into effect making her not as sad as she would be ...1 never was stated where she lived if anywhere at all 2 she cared more about her friends then she would have about not having a shelter to sleep in f she was in fact living in the clubhouse3 she could be use too disappointment and sadness by now as it was never said how long shes been alone ... as for the whole tree thing i don't think i ever said anything about the tree at all assuming that the reader would get that the tree was destroyed as well but i can easily fix that problem ... i left this story so open to let the reader determine what happened on the own not binding them to a definitive answer:twilightsmile:

oh and as for the grammatical and spelling errors i've been working on it only so much one can do themselves with a limited time span but anyways thanks for even reading it and giving me your honest opinion :pinkiehappy:

That was a quite adorable ending <3 there was some awkward wording but it is still very very cute. Keep it up! :scootangel:

SO FUKING ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

did i miss any happy emoticons

4091469
you could do :unsuresweetie: having a flashback about how she destroyed the clubhouse

Although I did enjoy the story, it was seemingly riddled with little errors and things that didn't sound right. The mixing of present and past tense was quite unnerving and there were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes, including one of my pet peeves, 'on accident' instead of 'by accident'.

I think you just really need a proof reader, and maybe someone to confer with about the way your stories go, to ensure they sound fluent and not forced.

Anyways good luck with future stories, with a little more proofing and checking over they should be brilliant.

4484381 ok thank you for your reply ...itds funny really ...i never had a proofreader for this to begin with so i did my best:derpytongue2:

i enjoyed it please do a squeal please I NEED MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flutterrage:
i like the fact tht u did a Scootabelle fic it was so nicely done in my opinion
I really hope to see more Scootabelle........please :pinkiehappy:

5719840 you know ... I've been mulling over doing a sequel but I'm having trouble decision wheat her I want a prequel or not first ... And I'd need a proofreader ... This one wasn't proofread at all besides myself ... But you've given me drive to write more

It was good but why didn't AppleJack come running when the clubhouse got destroyed or seem more concerned when she found out about it? She blew it off like it was no big deal.

About you needing an editor I am thinking of becoming one. I never had a thing for writing. But spelling errors stuck out.

Btw in the note asking for an editor. You spelled feel ,as fell. :twilightsheepish:

Am I the only one picking up some ScootaBelle vibes from this, especially near the end? That was cute!

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