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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow this is getting good
Well, this won't be cause for an interstellar incident at all. I mean they are just taking advantage of a ship so technically advanced as to be impossible to replicate on their planet. After having a firefight against one alien species, and first meeting with only one member of the possible crew. I mean, it's not like they are actually starving to death because no one trusts them as far as they can throw them and they feed off emotions or any thing like that.
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No one ever thinks to ask why.
Why they were starving, why they chose to invade, why they need a place to hide.
HAZAH FOR CHRISALIS!!!
5693546 Which is why only an interstellar incident is in the making and not an international argument over who gets scavenging rights.
SOON!
First contact that didn't result in someone trying to kill us, success for the UNSC.
If it your birthday you shouldn't have to pay for your new cover art. It should be a birthday gift.
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What d^mb@ss mistakes have I made thus far?
I am dying from laughter everytime he says his name and rank and whatnot because all I can see is:
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH PLEASE!! YOUR NATIVITY IS HILARIOUS!!!
Twilight, you and your Diarchy's level of incompetence is too damn high. WAIT, Google, summon me a more appropriate way of saying this!
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Those downvotes might as well be three more upvotes because they just proved you right.
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1. Dashie being able to topple Five.
2. Five not leaving after Celly's and Dashie's unjustified ambush.
3. (Inconsistency) Distance of detection before Celly fired her beam-o-war at Five. Need clarification and consistency.
BUT those are off the top of my head and I'll have to re-read to find the other errors. You're doing astronomically better than all the other fools who make Halo crossover though.
And Five is the most realistic SPARTAN I've read on fimfiction thus far. PLUS you have the Covenant, exposed how incompetent ponies are (which frustrates me to no end, which is a good sign) and you made any effort in fleshing out the Changelings instead of painting them as a "unholy evil race that must die!!".
However, compared to other stories that meet the standard yours falls short due to those glaring errors (mainly #1 and #2). These can be forgiven as long as reality is here to stay. I mean, really, I don't even have to explain it. Explaining is what The School For New Writers is for.
I sense hate coming in my direction. I better deploy my panted expanding, fire-proof trash bag to collect the flames. This is the model with triple durability.
I suppose I'll have to say it in plain english. I'm well pleased with your story. I've seen how quickly and hard these kinds of stories go down the shitter so I'm withholding it from my favorites shelf. I'll give you a like in the meantime since you've more than earned it-which means that it's good enough. I'm taking your story seriously. Unlike others where I say "it has potential but it's not showing", this story is definetly having it's potential already shoving its way through the cracks and blasting through like a solar flare from the sun.
Excuse me while I deploy my fire-retardant, expanding trash bag. I collect hate and turn them into plaques.
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Ah, I see. Thanks for that, then. I've always thought, since I saw the Royal Wedding, "why did they invade to feed themselves on love if they're all- wait! They're dying of hunger, aren't they!?" I hate it when Changelings are the villains because of no reason other than they're villains in the show. Villains have had justification for doing what they do in thousands of great works, one of my favorites being Wreck it Wralph.
5693546 My guess? Chrysalis is an idiot. (to-the-point in the timestamped chronicle at the bottom of that chapter)
You seem to have a thing for the Changelings, so you may be more interested in Mente Materia, where SPOILERS SPOILERS HOLY SHIT SPOILERS and SPOILERS a SPOILERS during the go read Stardust first, and maybe play XCOM, to catch up on what's going on and what things do
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EXACTLY! And in reality, we already have a very skewed view of the changelings to begin with! It's also true that we can put whatever spin we want on that, give them motives, interests, damning politics ect ect list goes on.
So let's actually expand on that! Let's read about a Human OC spending time in the land of Minotaurs...or simply wandering the world. That's what I'm gonna do, if I ever have time from college. Lmao. Until then I just read read read and read more and read some Tom Clancy and read Heart of Darkness and bla bla bla. I just love making stories.
Although, many of us came to read about ponies. Who want's to read about a human's time in Bullman land?
Brownie points for making Five's armor red. GLORIOUS RED!! My PC's tower will be red (when I finally get the funds). My keyboard will be red. My curtains and bed are red. The color of my college is red. My little gameboy advance SP is red.
DAMN YOU AND YOUR RED ARMOR!! MAKE EVERYTHING RED!!
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I played through XCOM: EU and XCOM: EW, read Stardust three times (That needs to be a new expansion game, btw), and have caught up with Mente Materia twice now.
ISN'T IT AWESOME!?!?
Out of nine story notifications I chose yours.... and you DIDN'T fuck it up! You get brownie points maybe enough to win a date with some girl.
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BROWNIES!?
5694085 nope cookie
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F^CK!!!
5694032 FUCK YES IT IS
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I WAS THE MOST EPIC SUPPORT CLASS OF ALL TIME.
10% hit rate? FULL AUTO that shit.
...god was that a ride.
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HATE HATE HATE!!!!
Actually, I agree with you; but it would be a shame to waste such an epic trash bag.
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It can double as a fire-retardant poncho too!
Lovely, my only complaint is that it was not longer
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Hmmm, good question. Virgin blood isn't my thing and I don't particular care to use a herbivore's blood in general. I would go with the stereotype of painting my armor with the blood of my foes. But if I had to pick a type of creature, I would prefer ones that have one or a few characteristics that are greater than mine such as size and mass like a rhino, hydra, alligator, panther, dragon and other such creatures including sharks.
Can't go wrong with human blood though. However in certain circumstances I would intentionally use alicorn blood. Oh the implications...
Lol I too this a bit seriously But of course, my own blood would be in the mix from the struggles. Ooh that's an interesting idea. How would you feel if that set of armor that person is wearing was painted by the wearer's own blood? Heh, makes me inclined to think that person may be a bit touched in the head.
Why would he take off his helmet!!! Writer! All they could of done is now headshot him! And they keep the ship, and one alien gone, the AI won't do anything. WHY WOULD HE TAKE OFF HIS HELMET!!!!!! Change that!!! He is dead! The phalanx changeling now fires a bolt at his head and GAMEOVER!!
I am very upset about this! Change it!!!!!
5693932 MIA is better
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I just used whatever. If I was being anal about the terminology I would have used that too. As for your helmet comment you're so right!
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Give me a minute.
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Fixed.
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I edited it so the helmet stays on.
5695641 Thank you, now I feel like the main character won't instantly die in the next chapter
5695674 For what? All I did was point out something that made me angry
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Oh, wrong comment
5695641
Glad to see Five isn't a dummy
These chapters get cut off like the story has gone to it's daily guillotine appointment.
Really good chapter though. Eagerly waiting for more!
Those cutoffs! You may as well be cutting off my air flow!
Gah, I was really into it, then bam, gotta wait. The break is vicious.
EPIC!!!! Can't wait for more *eek*!
5700170 me to
I love how the pony leader sees an alien and goes "AAARGH!!" into battle Five sees an alien creature and basically goes "If you don't fuck with me, I won't fuck with you." then sees changelings and says "Oh, you're almost extinct and need help? I know the feel bro. We're cool."
can I just say that I have had many a situation with people [not aliens] where I have been the Five of the group.
At this point each chapter ending should be accompanied by the Inception BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ sound.
No shit Changelings didn't allow any of their potential food source be killed. They can't exactly drain emotion from the dead considering they're, well, dead.
Because they didn't want to kill the ponies they'd be feeding off of!
Did we just conveniently forget that? Does it just not matter!?
Twi is a logical and empathetic being. Right now, she should be weighing what the 'lings did against her desire to help them, and then decide to help them anyway. But no. Instead, Twi is holding the idiot ball, and feeling bad over repelling a hostile invading enemy force! Their queen hypnotized her brother and replaced his fiance, whom she locked in a cave for days! They were planning to stick the entire population of Equestria in pods and feed off of them for the rest of their natural lives! They would have done that to stallions, mares and foals, apparently without remorse or hesitation, and Twi feels bad about stopping them?
I'm sad that it is this way. Really, other than this, it's a good and enjoyable fic. Hopefully, it's not a large part of future chapters and I can ignore it.
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I'm still lost at the part where Twi is shocked and surprised that the Changelings are afraid of her. No, duh, really? You beat up a small heap of them in close combat and then friggen' blasted them out of Canterlot with a giant magic shield.
I thought you had this under control Rarity?
Well since you asked nicely...
Damn. The end was powerful. Humans can relate.