these two mares have been friends for a long time, but it seems they want something more then that.
Chapters (2)
Dexiom
Joined 12th Dec, 2011 ·
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"a Crush Revealed"
The chapter isn't even capitalized...
And by the second chapter your already moving
onto "Telling everyone about it" stage...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/184/961/tumblr_lnvvueuSsj1qcj56b.png?1318394475
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
Well I've seen you on deviant art. I may not always agree with how you rush. However I do admire your excitement and the pair you choose to obsess over because these two are meant for each other. <3
So rushed, but still good I guess.
I'll admit, I am biased a bit, because with me if it doesn't include Twilight, I don't like it.
The story is fine really, but things weren't entirely natural. Characters were a little off. Also, it would help if you got a proofreader, even if the grammar isn't terrible it would certainly make the story all the more better.
I actually like this one.. its different from the other romance stories iv read.. this one is so far the best romance story iv read
Keep up the good work
This is a skeleton of what could be a really excellent story. You just have to elaborate on the more meaningful events.
The characterization of Twilight and Fluttershy was good. Rainbow's hardened edge appeared only late in the story, otherwise she seemed a little 'soft'. Rarity was alright, though I was sort of expecting her to impose her ideas on romance a bit more, but that's just me.
I did enjoy the reversal of roles between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash when things started getting passionate.
Gotta watch out for Fluttershy, she's got that Bruce Banner / Hulk thing going on.
If you get a proofreader or two to help you, I think you could really turn up the heat.
rushed, too rushed.
and fairly generic as well.
You need to post more chapters this is pretty good.
Give him a break from what ive read you all are are acting like babies. He didnt say this is perfect in every way.
arggggh just deal with it ok!?
Give him a break from what ive read you are are acting like a baby Iraq lobster . He didnt say this is perfect in every way.
arggggh just deal with it ok!?
hey dont you make that other fluttershy x rainbowdash series?
Rushed, but fun. Flutterdash makes it all better. They are sooo ment for each other.
