Flutterdash

FlutterDash1,424 stories ·2,585 members

Rainbow dash has loved a certain timid pony for a long time will she ever be able to confess her feelings?
Read to find out :3

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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emberghost

emberghost #1 · Mar 22nd, 2012 · · ·

Dexiom, you're a good artist, but this needs work

tallon567

tallon567 #2 · Jun 5th, 2012 · · ·

Short, but a great story

DianaWinters

DianaWinters #3 · Jul 28th, 2012 · · ·

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwww

Loquacia Bloodrose

Loquacia Bloodrose #4 · Sep 24th, 2013 · · ·

Nawww.

Ponyess

Ponyess #5 · Jan 11th, 2014 · · ·

for starters, go over the Summary, you could make it better, right?

Ponyess

Ponyess #6 · Jan 11th, 2014 · · ·

I enjoyed the story, as short as it is.
Though I wondered what's your primrary language for a while, then it came to me, you did not have as much as a pre-reader to check for errors?
The story would gain much, if you just had it checked for spelling and grammar errors, then considering pronomina choices, since they're kind of out of the room?
maybe not the best way to put it, but just go over the story?

Dexiom

Dexiom #7 · Jan 11th, 2014 · · ·

3767798 I actually had someone rewrite it my version was much much worse.

Ponyess

Ponyess #8 · Jan 11th, 2014 · · ·

3767900 by Celestia, then I'm happy I missed out on the Horendous Torture.
The most outstanding now, is the 'Cyan Pegasus' problem.
Early on, there is a 'She' too much, should be easily fizxed?

MysteriousPegasister