• Published 22nd Feb 2014
  • 1,668 Views, 355 Comments

Starswirl's Journal - AlesFlamas



Genius, mad scientist or simple unicorn who caught a lucky break? Starswirl's journal shall reveal all.

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Entry #21

I managed to find a guard. When he refused to cut of my genitals, I just asked for directions to the kitchen. Thankfully, he was willing to give me those. And imagine my joy when I discovered that the kitchen is occupied by at least one one cook at all times, in the event the king should ever desire a midnight snack. Now imagine my disappointment upon discovering that the chef had absolutely no idea what a doughnut was. And as it turns out, he doesn't care. As soon as I mentioned I had happened upon this confection of the gods in an Earth pony village. . . well first he asked me what an Earth pony was. But when he found out that I'd discovered them in a mud-dweller village, he refused to even consider making a pastry conceived by those most low-born of mongrels, the mud-dwellers. Pretentious ass. But anyway, I said I would do it. There was no doughnut to be had, so I'm going to kill myself. To any and all who find this journal, consider this the last entry. Stop reading it now, because there won't be any more.

Author's Note:

Don't actually stop reading it, there will be more.

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