A bitter and hateful factory worker ends up taking care of a daughter he did not know existed. Now he needs to figure out how to raise her with little money and no experience along with fighting his own personal demons.
Read about their struggles in life and how they eventually came to a little town called Ponyvile.
Rated teen for language, just so you know.
Special thanks goes to my editor Espeon In The Morning for being the coolest person.
Even more thanks to my proofreader the amazingly fantastic SunX
Chapters (3)
Will this story be considered a scootabuse or will weelie somehow get his act together?
3619341
nah I'm sure it will all work out. I'm almost certain even.
Good enough story. I actually liked the somewhat open ended ending, though it leaves the question of what happened to Wheelie now that Scootaloo's older and in Ponyville. Does he still live with her?
3901365
still got plenty of story to write before I get there, Deep. I do have some stuff planned, though.
I guess I just have to hope to not disapoint when I do get to that stuff.
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You won't.
And I just assumed the story was over since the ending of the chapter gave that impression to me. My bad.
A unicorn colored "blurple"?
Intentional?
4109789
very intentional.
4109789 Least it's Blurple and not "Breen" (Rocko's Modern Life reference, NOT an HL2 reference)
4110924
I'm fairly sure its a Kids Next Door reference. Number One hates Blurple.
This chapter, I like it!
Another! *smash*
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Considered a bitter irony since his father likes Blurpleberry Ice Cream ("Closest thing to the 4th flavor" he's ever tasted), and Nigel emulates Numbuh 0: who IS his father.
I can already see the spark of father hood in his soul, he's changing for the better.
you go Wheelie.
Is the unicorn filly in the beginning OP lol?
4118195
lol I do not think she is going to be wrestling bears or jumping off cliffs any time soon.
This story deserved to be faved
Yes! So good to see a new chapter. =)
I'm waiting a new chapter, this story is good, I need more.
Ok, but there are a few grammar errors (e.g. 4th sentence shouldn't have a comma, and "the" shouldn't be capitalised whether it's there or not).
I think you use too many adjectives, too. The overall amount of detail is good, but it would be better if it came from more descriptions of different parts of the surroundings and actions rather than "fruity" language to describe few different things.
Dialogue is good.
"The cashier sighed. It looks like she’ll need to contact a hospital." Is an unexplained change of tense.
6134275
Hey thanks for the feedback! I'll try to fix the grammatical errors you pointed out when I can.
Yeah, I had my suspicions that the writing was too flowery here. When I first started writing this, I hadn't found the right voice for it yet. I still haven't really but I think I'm getting closer.
I'm probably going end up completely revising this at some probably after I finish part one, maybe sooner, depending if I can quicken my update pace.
Anyway, thanks a bunch! I really appreciate it.