Special Someponies.
February 12th
Hearts and Hooves Day is two days away and Button Mash doesn't know who he wants to be his Special Somepony. He likes Sweetie Belle, but she spends most of her time with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders or with her big sister Rarity. She doesn't seem to have much time for a Special Somepony.
Does she like anypony? Button Mash thought. I keep catching her looking at me.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"Ahk! Sweetie Belle, don't sneak up on me like that. You nearly scared me to death. Like what happens when you tap on a fish bowl," said Button.
"Whatever, but what were you thinking about?"
"Nothing," Button said quickly. "Don't worry about it. So, what did you want to talk about?"
"I was just wondering if you could help me with my homework. It doesn't make much sense to me," Sweetie replied.
"Sure. Just let me finish up here. I'll be right over."
"Okay."
And with that Sweetie Belle walked back to her desk and looked as if she tried to make sense of the math.
Phew, that was close. Now I've got to try to keep her from sneaking up on me again. She can't see the card I'm making for her. She's the kindest, most caring pony I've ever met other that Fluttershy. I'm going to ask her to be my Special Somepony
February 13th
It was the day before Hearts and Hooves Day. Sweetie Belle was with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom at Sugarcube Corner. They were drinking holiday themed hot chocolate. The three of them were talking about who they want to be their Special Somepony. Not surprisingly, Scootaloo doesn't want one, but Apple Bloom said that she liked Featherweight. When Sweetie Belle said that she likes Button Mash, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom look dumbfounded.
"Are you serious?" asked Scootaloo.
"He does nothing but sit around Ponyville playing video games and go to school." Apple Bloom replied to Sweetie Belle. "He also wears that odd looking hat that has the weird spinning thing on top."
"I think that he's handsome." Sweetie replied to Scootaloo and AB.
Scootaloo started to say something, but before she could get out her full sentence Sweetie Belle interrupted saying "If you disagree then please keep it to yourself. You may not like him but that doesn't mean that I can't." With that shut Scootaloo up.
"So I guess that you're going to make him a card?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yeah. But what if he doesn't make me a card? Or he makes a card for somepony else? Or maybe he won't make a card at all," Sweetie Belle stated. "What do I do then?"
"You'll be fine. If he doesn't want to be your Special Somepony then he needs to know what my hooves look like." Scootaloo said.
"Please don't hurt him. It wouldn't be his fault. He might just like somepony else," Sweetie said.
"Alright then. If you need us we'll be at the clubhouse making another card for Ms. Cheerilee." Apple Bloom said.
"I don't think that I'll run into any trouble. And remember, don't make the card as big as last year's. It'll be hard to clean up, and I'd hate to have to help you two out of the card again.
February 14th
It was Hearts and Hooves Day. Button Mash finished his card that morning. He used the gold dust that Sweetie Belle and the other CMC's used on their Harvest Day Parade Float.
Sweetie Belle is going to love it. And I hope that she made me a card. It'd be a little embarrassing if she didn't. All the other fillies and colts would pester me for answers that I might not have. It'd just become a big mess.
While Button Mash was in deep thought Sweetie Belle walked up and was about to start talking when she remembered Button's warning. Instead she waved a hoof in front of his face to get his attention.
"Thanks for not just talking. Did you want to tell me something?" Button asked.
"Um, I, uh, wanted to tell you to have a happy Hearts and Hooves Day," Sweetie Belle replied.
"Yeah, you too."
Just then Pinkie Pie started to ring the school bell. Cheerilee herded some fillies into the schoolhouse and went to the window. "Pinkie Pie, you can stop ringing the bell now. Everypony is inside," Cheerilee called to Pinkie while sticking her head out of the window.
"Okay Ms. Cheerilee. I'll be back to ring the bell tomorrow." With that Pinkie bounced down the road to Sugarcube Corner.
"Alright, my little ponies. Time for the card exchange. Everypony go to your desk to await my instruction," Cheerilee said.
Featherweight left Apple Bloom's desk and went to his own. Button and Sweetie sat down at their desks. And only once everypony was sitting did Cheerilee start talking again.
"Remember everypony, don't make fun of anypony if they didn't get as many cards as you or your friends, and have fun. You may begin."
Everypony stood up and started walking around the room. Button noticed that Sweetie Belle was wandering around without giving anypony a card. Just like himself. Button was gathering his courage to go and ask Sweetie Belle to be his Special Somepony. Finally Button Mash walked up to Sweetie Belle.
"Here Sweetie Belle, I made you a card. I hope you like it."
Just then Button lost his nerve and turned and started to leave. But Sweetie Belle called him back.
"Button Mash, I made you a card too," Sweetie Belle said. "And your card is lovely. Your hoofwriting is much better than any other Earth Pony's that I've seen before."
"It's still not as good as yours. Unicorn writing is always better because you can use magic," Button Mash replied. "Who taught you to write so well anyway Sweetie Belle? Twilight Sparkle? Or your sister Rarity?"
"Rarity did. She says that a mare with good writing can go far in Equestria," Sweetie Belle said.
"Do you think that she could teach me the basic things to know so that I can practice at home?" Button asked.
"Sure. When do you want to come over? Tonight or the day after tomorrow? Or later this week?"
"Why not tomorrow?"
"Rarity has an important customer coming in from Canterlot. She'll be busy all day," Sweetie Belle replied.
"Okay, how about after school today?" Button asked.
"I'm pretty sure its okay. But when you get there I'll have to ask her if it's okay. If she says no, then I could still help you or we could do something else," Sweetie said.
"Okay. Oh, and um, I wanted to ask you something but- nope, never mind, forget I said anything."
"Come on Button. What were you going to ask me?"
"Fine. I'll tell you, but don't make fun of me," Button Mash said.
"Okay."
"I've been working up the courage to ask you this all day. Here we go. Do you want to be my Special Somepony?" Button asked Sweetie Belle. As soon as he'd asked he knew that there was no taking what he said back.
They stood there for a moment as Sweetie Belle stared into Button's eyes. Almost as if she had been waiting for this question for a while.
"Yes, Button. I will," Sweetie Belle answered. "I've been hoping that you'd ask me sometime soon."
"Um, now that we're Special Someponies, I don't know what to do. This has never happened before," Button Mash said.
"This hasn't happened to me yet either, but I think that we should spend some time together. Maybe later today?"
"Yeah, what do you want to do?"
"Do you want to play Minecraft? You could guard me while I mine," Sweetie Belle said.
"Yeah. That sounds like fun. Lets do that," Button replied.
"Where do you want to meet?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"How about Sugarcube Corner at 4:00 P.M.? They've free Wi-Fi," Button replied.
"Sounds good. I'll make sure to be there."
February 14th (Later)
It was 4:00 P.M. but Button Mash had been at Sugarcube Corner since 3:45. He'd drank a white chocolate mocha and was a little jittery from the coffee. He didn't usually drink coffee but his mother wasn't with him to tell him not to. Sweetie Belle walked in a few minutes later.
"Let's get started. I'm already booted up and ready to go. Do you want to start in a village, a snowy area, or at the random spawn? I've codes for the first two," Button asked.
"Village. They've a lot of materials and some caves nearby. And I've been to one before. It was a little like Ponyville," Sweetie Belle replied.
"Okay. Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Good, lets go."
Button Mash and Sweetie Belle entered the world of Minecraft. They spawned on a hill overlooking a small village surrounding a church with a very tall tower. The village surrounded by hills. There was a deep blue ocean on the other side of the village about 30 yards from the back of the church. There was also a cave entrance to the forward-right of the spawn point.
Sweetie Belle and Button Mash walked into town. There were three field areas. Two grew wheat and the other one grew carrots and potatoes. Logs surrounded the fields as a kind of border and to keep the water in. There were five houses and a guardhouse. As they were searching the town Button found a chest in the blacksmith's shop. He opened it to find four iron ingots, five sticks, and five lumps of coal.
"Hey Sweetie Belle. I found a chest and it had some iron, coal, and sticks. What do you want to make?" Button told Sweetie Belle.
"How about some torches and a pickaxe. The last one needs a crafting table though." Sweetie said.
"Take some logs off of the fields. Just make sure that the water doesn't come out. It's a pain to fight the current and place the log back."
"You go get the logs, and I'll harvest whatever is ready. I want to go cave scouting before it gets dark though. Just tell me if you need any help, okay?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Okay. And likewise to you. Please don't go too far else I might not get to your aid fast enough."
"Okay. Once I leave I'll be back in under fifteen minutes," Sweetie Belle said.
An hour passed and Sweetie Belle said that she needed to go home to do her homework.
"Alright. I'll walk you home," Button said with a little sadness in his voice. The kind of sadness you feel when you have to stop doing what you love to do to aid someone else.
When they reached Sweetie Belle's house they said their goodbyes and promised to do this again tomorrow. And so it went for the next five years.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad but it's rushed, and nothing really major happens. It feels kind of dull.
3814572 I'm sorry that it's dull. Its only my first fic though. I might get better.
Pretty good, but I'd suggest finding an editor. If your looking for one, I may be able to help.
cute
3814669 I guess it wouldn't hurt to have another editor. Since the last one didn't help it seems.
3814672 Thanks.
OMG BUTTON MASH AND SWEETIE BELLE R MINECRAFTERS YEAAAH
3815167 Your picture shows your excitement. Also yes, yes they are.
Sorry I stopped before the Minecraft part. The dialog was kind of flat. It doesn't feel like Sweetie Belle or the other CMC when they talk. Button Mash, well he hasn't talked for a extended period in any media (other than the miniseries promo) so that would be harder to gauge.
3816332 As I've said earlier, since this is my first fic there is bound to be many problems. I hope to get better the more I write. And thanks for the info on my dialogue I'll try to spice it up next time.
3816350
I saw that it was your first story, so I thought I'd give some pointers. May you write many more stories and work on your mastery of the art.
3820696 Who was out of character?
Meh... Needs excitement
I really liked it, but...
Only five years, what happened? I can talerate an open ending... But this is too much...
It's like I were to say, "And they lived happily ever after, until that happened. The End"
Cute story. The only thing that irks me right now is the fact that the most recent new character we've seen on the show, Cheese Sandwich, already has a tag on here but Button Mash doesn't have one yet.
Okay, I did like the premise of the story, but the execution I felt was a bit weak.
The premise was actually not that bad. Button Mash wanting to make Sweetie Belle his very special somepony was a very good start. And it was a good set up.
However, I felt that the piece was starting to fall apart. For example, I would have loved to have seen more depth into Button Mash's mind. How did Sweetie Belle make him feel? What led him to liking her? Was there some sort of event that triggered this? I would have loved to explore more of Button Mash's mind and to see more of what made him choose Sweetie Belle over the other Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The same thing could have been said for Sweetie Belle.
Button Mash asking Sweetie Belle to be his very special somepony felt pretty rushed and I would have loved to have seen more hesitation or uncertainty on his part. I would have love to see him question over the perfect card to give her, making him stress and second guess himself, over this card that he wasn't to make perfect for his girl.
The Minecraft scene felt completely unnecessary. The huge climax of the story was already resolved and the Minecraft scene didn't hold much of value for the characters as far as developing them. I felt that it was out of place. Now, if this had been in more of the middle or the reason why Button Mash grew to like Sweetie Belle, it probably would have worked better.
I know this is your first fan fiction and I apologize if I seem harsh and mean. That is not my intention. My intention is to bring to the light the problems that I felt need to be addressed. I ask you not to give up this pursuit. Especially, if you feel that you really want to do this. Every writer has to start somewhere and I realize that not every piece of work is not going to fall into place every time. I ask you to keep writing because with a little practice and a lot of hard work, I honestly think you have the makings of a solid writer. In fact, you're not that different from when I first started. (Except I was much worse). Thank you for letting me read and review your work. I look forward to seeing your improvements in the future. Take care.
3862899
I intend to make a sequel and that was meant to entice the readers to want to know what happens next.
3884424
I think that the reason is that Cheese sandwich is a semi-main character and Button isn't.
3889286
Thanks for the pointers. I'll keep them in mind while writing my next story.
Yeah Scootaloo, shut the fuck up!
50th like. You're welcome.
But all of that aside, I really liked the story.
Please, more!
This was a beautiful story make a part 2
About the 5 years later
5526416 nice profile pic! And comment.
it does not feel romantic it feels like friends having fun
this fanfict feels rushed and kinda unfinished
6/10