• Member Since 30th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 57 minutes ago

RS-Belle14


I'm the best at what I do: being late. I also write stories, commission art, and translate between English and Spanish.

Sequels1

E

It's Sweetie Belle's Cuteceñera! Things already look promising, but little does she know that a certain green-haired boy she's had a crush on has a special gift for her. This party is looking to be even better than she hoped.

Special thanks to Gadgetphile and my friend for proof reading.

First story in The Love Life of Sweetie Belle and Spike series.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 46 )

10,307 words! :pinkiegasp: I seen longer but you think you have enough there. This may take awhile :rainbowdetermined2: but I will read your story! :pinkiehappy: Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye

7025310 I type as much as I think the story needs. Ha sorry

7025316 Well it doesn't matter I wish your story luck, I already took the trouble of putting it in a few of my groups as you can see when you go down the long similar list. :derpytongue2:

7025323 Ha Thanks. Hope you enjoy this one. I put a bit of more of myself in this.

It was a cute little story. A few grammatical errors, but those can be overlooked.

*Sigh.* Hondo made the mistake of looking at his daughter's big green eyes.

This however... I just can't. It only takes a few extra words to say "Hondo sighed as he made the mistake..." and it flows so much better.

Every time you use asterisks to add sound effects, Twilight Sparkle kicks Spike. True story. So for the sake of Spike, don't add asterisks for your sound effects.

(Paid for by the Don't Let Twilight Kick Spike Foundation)

And done my second favorite Spike ship next to Applespike bit really close. This was a really good story and well I laugh at the right parts, smiled and it was a nice cute story. This was really good and it didn't feel like 10 thousands words more like five thousand or so, meaning it will be easy to read it over so that gonna count of something.

The Belle of the ball: Sweetie Belle

I'm counting that as a bad pun. I'm so proud of you, they grow up so fast, :pinkiesad2: anyway, besides the Cute-something I'm not even going to try and spell it, I think that only happen when you get your cutie mark. But that's my say on the story great job, :twilightsmile: anyway we're done here.

Great story! I wanted to read the whole thing but once I saw Sweetie had a crush on Spike I literally scrolled all the way down. Sorry I just don't like those two shipped together. But it's really good though, sorry for being a duck as well.

7026477 It's kinda my style, but I'll take your suggestion into consideration. Thanks for the read!

7026632 I know ponies only have Cuteceñeras when they get their Cutie Marks. That's why I made them humans in this story. I did that give Cuteceñeras more of a coming-of-age birthday than mark getting. Thanks for another read, Phoenix. And I have no regrets for my puns ha.

7026688 Well, I appreciate you giving my story a chance. We all have ships we don't like. But as long as everyone is respectful, I don't mind. Thanks for the read.

This story... was AMAZING!!!

It kinda felt like a season finale to a sitcom. (That 70's Show is the first one that comes to mind) I just love every single part of this story. The drama, the romance, the BLOODSHED... sorry, just played Undertale and it came to mind. (There is no bloodshed) I think the thing that really cracked me up was the mariachi band and Marker Mustache. That name killed me. (I know it's your name, but I can just imagine a mariachi band in Equestria and one of the members name is Marker Mustache!) Anyways, I just wanted to say that this story has been one of the best I have read so far and like I always say...

"Creativity is endless, but we start our journey at the beginning."
OmniWriter - 2006

7026978 Thank you so much. Really liked your comment. It made me laugh ha.

7033136 Thank you! Really appreciate the feedback.

First I know I should have done this a looooong time ago but spring church camp began as soon as you published your story so I could never give you my insight on the story itself.

Good stuff about the story.
Well for starters, the amount of character development in the story is surprisingly well done in such a small amount time, the interactions of characters just made me as a reader so attached to them all as a whole, the interactions from the characters felt so genuine, it's as if Laruen Faust herself was beside you assisting you with the character development during the story. The way I knew that the characters were actually genuine to me was the fact that even if it the story focused on anyone else besides sweetie belle's or spike's perspective I would still easily be amused by the interactions of others.
Another thing that I have no idea how you managed is the interaction between sweetie's parents, not much is known about them but yet I felt a very accurate and a non forced personality from the pair (and forced personality's happen waaaay to much for fanfics) and how I knew such a claim of originality for sweetie's parents, was the fact that whenever those two conversed with one another I would never fail to smile :pinkiesmile:.


Things that you can improve one
Well there wasn't much writing error's as much of wording error's (which might I add is very common with new writers considering this is your third story) "*Sigh.* Hondo made the mistake of looking at his daughter's big green eyes." While it should've been somewhat or similar to "Hondo sighed as he made the mistake..." Dwarvish Pony makes an extremely valid point with his wording (make sure to thank him for that). One final complaint, the story moved a bit fast I felt as if you could have made this a 2 chapter piece with more detail, it felt quick (especially near the beginning and the end)

All in all 8/10 pinkies :pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile:

Also hahaha yes finally finished the review :yay:

7052383 Thanks. I did consider making this multi-chapter, but I decided to keep it one shot. My next one is also a one shot. After that, I will publish my first multi-chapter.

7052398 well I hope you have a healthy mind and some good motivation by theb

I really enjoyed this story. What's really made me laugh the most was the part when Hondo gave Spike one of those dirty looks. It reminds me of when my dad would do that with my younger sister :rainbowlaugh:

7083021 Thanks! Yeah, I had fun with that scene, too.

7083035 Will you ever make a sequel. Unless if you have other plans.

7083041 I do have plans for a sequel, though I have come across a minor problem over copyrighted songs. I went into a bit more detail in one of my blog posts. But a sequel will happen down the road. And I have a lot more stories planned. I have a long list ;)

7083051 That's good to hear. Keep up the good work. I can't wait!

7083157 Next one should be up soon (now that my horrible Abstract Algebra test is over).

So, are a mariachi?
Hubieras escrito la cancion en español xp :moustache:

7126653 Si puedo hablar espanol, pero no puedo escribir. Y quiero que todos entienden la cancion jajaja.

7126697 oh, i understand, i can say the same though. Se hablar ingles, pero no escribirlo.

welp, i feel like i was lucky to read through all of that cuteness and survived to tell the tale. now, after reading this, i think i need to find a mariachi spike picture and see if it stacks up to the way you described it in the story.

7129847 Ha thanks for the feedback. I did consider posting a picture of Spike dressed like that, but then I realized it would be a major spoiler.

7129854 maybe maybe. anyway, i was honestly surprised with the mariachi thing. i felt like he would have done the whole "outside of the house holding up a boombox" type of thing.

7129858 That's what I loved about the idea. It's so cute and romantic, and almost no one would expect it.

Alright, I absolutely loved this story! I've never read a story centered around Sweetie Belle before, much less one that shipped her with Spike, but this is so well-written that I can't help but like it.

7234401 Thank you so much. I love almost nothing more than people liking my stories. I just posted a sequel to this story yesterday if you're interested.

7234412 I know! I read it right after this one, and it was just as fabulous! :raritystarry:

7234936 Thank you so much! There will be more :)

Hmm, Dance Magic brings to mind another song with a similar title. It also reminds me of the babe.

7859481 I can only think of one other song when I hear Dance Magic.

7859682
Unless it reminds you of the babe, we're not thinking of the same song.

Ok, why do I keep seeing Tom Holland as Spike, Angourie Rice as Sweetie Belle, Tara Strong as Twilight and Michael Keaton as Hondo Flanks? 😁😁😁

Why do I get the feeling that Spike is a Certifiable Casanova?

10041090
Because those are surprisingly good choices. Seriously!

Whenever I write them humanized, I think of them in mauroz's style.

10068935
Because he's very romantic :raritywink:

10069874
I was thinking a bit more of an animated movie, kinda like how they switched up the animation into something different yet true to character for the 2017 My Little Pony Movie. It was a great movie. 😁😁😁 But yeah, I can see where you’re going with this.

Thanks for the reply.

10070140
You're welcome! I always try to reply to my comments ASAP, but I guess I must've missed yours somehow. Sorry lol. When I finally saw it, I replied.

Login or register to comment