A Dash Of Pink

by RainbowDashian

A Dash Of Pink

"Hurry, up, silly, we don't want Applejack seeing us!" Pinkie said, pushing the pegasus along.

"I don't see what the hurry's about." Rainbow Dash said.

"We're throwing a surprise party for Applejack, duh." The earth pony replied. "We're here."

"Sugarcube Corner?" Rainbow Dash asked skeptically. "Won't the Cakes get mad at you for using it?"

"They're on vacation, Dashie!" Pinkie said, elated.

"But what if they come home and find the mess?"

"That's why we have to clean up really well."

"Pinkie, cleaning up isn't exactly your pièce de résistance."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, it's just french for specialty. Well, that's kinda what it means. I heard Rarity use it once."

"COOL."

"Yeah, um, shouldn't we go inside?"

"Right! Let's go!" Pinkie flung open the door and pushed Rainbow Dash inside. They began to hang up streamers and set tables. Then Pinkie exclaimed, "We gotta go get some wine!"

"Wine?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Why would we want wine?"

"Because Applejack's turning 21, silly." Pinkie Pie said.

"She's only twenty-one?" Rainbow Dash asked, shocked. "That's like, five years younger than us!"

"I know, crazy, right?" Pinkie giggled.

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash agreed. "If anything, Applejack seems older that us."

"I know. It's really funny how that works out, I mean, one second you think they're your age, then the next you realize -"

"Weren't you going to get the wine?"

"Right. Come on!" The pair walked downstairs to the basement. Pinkie scooted away some boxes, and then unlocked a trapdoor. She set the key on the ground and flung open the trapdoor. Then she descended down the ladder. Rainbow Dash followed suite, closing it shut behind her.

Pinkie had just grabbed a bottle of '53 Chateu when she dropped it. The bottle broke, spilling wine all over the floor. "Pinkie, look at this mess." Rainbow Dash said. "Why's you drop that?"

"I left the keys up there." Pinkie said. "And the trapdoor automatically locks."

"So, what you're saying is, we're stuck down here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yep." The earth pony replied. "We are."

"Well that's just great!" The pegasus shouted. "How are we going to get out?"

"Someone will have to come and get us."

"But who will look for us here?"

"The Cakes."

"But they'll know you were trying to throw a party."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't mind, so long as we get out."

"You know what, Pinkie?"

"What?"

"While we're down here, why don't we partake in the fruits of this cellar?"

"Don't mind if I do."

"You know what, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash slurred. "I'll tell you. Alcohol is the greatest invention of all of ponykind."

"I completely agree." Pinkie Pie said, leaning against the pegasus. "In fact, it can even drive ponies to kiss each other."

"What, like this?" Rainbow Dash asked, gently kissing the other mare.

"No, you're doing it all wrong, like this." Pinkie Pie pushed Rainbow Dash to the ground and flung herself on top of the former. She forcefully pressed her lips against the pegasus'. Rainbow Dash kissed her back. As the drunken ponies slowly progressed into a passionate embrace, Rainbow Dash broke it off.

"Yep." She said. "You're right. Alcohol can drive ponies to do that. But, I think we're drunk."

"Yeah, a bit." Pinkie said.

"I think we should sleep it off, don't you?" The pegasus asked.

"Sure." Pinkie said, lying down. Rainbow Dash laid down next to her. They slept.

Rainbow Dash woke up first the next morning. Was it morning? She couldn't tell. There wasn't the usual sun streaming in through the hole in her cloud home. Because she was trapped in a wine cellar.

The rainbow-maned mare sat up and looked at the pink mare sleeping next to her. She'd always had feelings for the earth pony, but the latter had never acted like she felt the same way. Rainbow Dash moved her eyes downward, towards the earth pony's flank. The usual balloon cutie mark greeted her. Somehow, Pinkie Pie ate almost every cupcake at almost every party every time, but her flank never got any bigger. Rainbow Dash would have to ask her about that.

The earth pony stirred and sat up. "Good morning, sunshine." Rainbow Dash said, a smile on her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Uugh." Pinkie moaned. "I've got a headache."

"Me too." Rainbow Dash agreed.

"What happened last night, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Um, I think we got drunk and we -" Rainbow stopped.

"We what?"

"I think we kissed each other."

"What?"

"Yeah, I was saying alcohol was awesome, and you said it could drive ponies to kiss, and then I was all like, 'Like this?' and kissed you, but then you said, 'No, no no.' and kissed me back, harder, and we almost ended up - going farther."

"Wow."

"Yeah. While we're on the subject, Pinkie, I've gotta ask you something."

"What?"

Rainbow felt her face turn red. "Um, it's just, after last night, you know, not due to any prior notions or anything, I decided to ask you if you, um, you know, liked mares?"

Pinkie's face turned an even brighter shad of pink. "Um, that's hard to answer."

"I'm sorry. Just, say yes or no."

"Well, yes."

"Really?"

"More specifically, you."

"Really?"

"But you're the straightest pony I've ever met, so I know you don't like me back, I mean, how could you, you -" Rainbow pressed her lips against Pinkie's surprised, Pinkie Pie didn't immediately return the embrace.

Rainbow Dash pulled away and said, "You talk too much, Pinkie." The earth pony kissed the pegasus. The rainbow-maned mare awkwardly intruded into Pinkie's mouth with her tongue, and Pinkie did the same with her own.

Pinkie pulled away. "This isn't going to work, is it?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, when Lyra and Bon-Bon announced that they were - together, they weren't allowed anywhere for a year." Pinkie said. "Ponies will hate us."

"Here's the things, Pinkie Pie: We don't have to tell anyone." Rainbow consoled. She kissed the pink mare. They began to progress into a more passionate kind of embrace. Rainbow Dash nibbled on Pinkie Pie's mane and whispered, "Your mane tastes like cotton candy." When they were about to reach the climax of said embrace, they heard a loud "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

The pair broke the embrace and looked at the source of the voice. At the trapdoor, Mrs. Cake was standing, staring at them fearfully. "Um, I can explain." Pinkie said, sitting up and straightening her mane. "You see, we got trapped down here, and -"

"Out." Mrs. Cake said. "Now."

The couple did as Mrs. Cake said, leaving the wine cellar. Mrs. Cake pushed them out of the door and slammed it behind them. "What are we going to do, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie Pie exasperatedly asked.

"What do you mean?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Mrs. Cake won't tell anyone."

"You don't understand." Pinkie said. "She's an extreme homophobic. When Lyra and Bon-Bon announced their relationship, they were banned from Sugarcube Corner. For good. They're not allowed in there ever."

"So we don't eat cake." Rainbow said, shrugging. "What does it matter?"

"You just don't get it." Pinkie Pie said. "She doesn't even sell things to places that Lyra and Bon-Bon eat. They're the main catering source of my parties. I can't have a party without cake! Also, they're my only job! I babysit their kids for quite a lot of bits. I need that money." The earth pony began to cry.

"It'll be okay, Pinkie." Rainbow said, putting her arm over her lover's shoulder.

"My apartment's above Sugarcube Corner. Where will I stay?"

"Don't worry. You can stay at my house anytime you like."

"You live on a cloud. And I'm an earth pony."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'm sure you could stay at one of our friend's houses."

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'd have to tell them why I can't stay at Sugarcube Corner."

"Stay at Applejack's. She's the element of honesty, she'll keep a promise."

"Okay, I'll try."

-Three Months Later-

"Hay, Pinkie!" Rainbow called, waving the earth pony over.

"What's up?" The Pinkie Pie asked, sitting down.

"The sky." Rainbow Dash slyly said.

"No, silly, what are you doing?" Pinkie said, used to her lover's sarcasm.

"Waiting for our smoothie." The pegasus replied. "Here it is now."

An earth pony placed a smoothie down on the table. It had two straws in it. "How are you two lovebirds doing?" He asked.

"Good, thanks." Pinkie said, handing him bits. After he walked away, Pinkie Pie continued, "They've taken our relationship well. Much better than they did with Lyra and Bon-Bon."

"Yep." Rainbow Dash said, slurping the smoothie. "Who would've thought that Fluttershy and Applejack were together, too?"

"I think that Spike and Rarity are the only straight couple in our bunch."

"Well, Twilight's single."

"Not anymore, Rainbow Dash. I heard that she's dating Derpy."

"Really?"

"Yep. Apparently, the pegasus was dropping off mail and fell or something, accidentally kissing Twilight. Needless to say, both of them liked it."

"Wow. That's a bit - surprising."

"I know. Let's enjoy this smoothie." They did. And all was well in Ponyville.

Comments

[Lucefudu]

I dunno, but something tells me I've already read this before...
Same premise... same title... what is going on?

[RainbowDashian]

316150 What? There's another? I MUST FIND IT! AND SLAY THE AUTHOR!

[RainbowDashian]

316150 So there is another. I MUST READ IT! Here's the link: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6327/A-Dash-of-Pink (I almost used the same cover art too...)

[Lucefudu]

316167 THAT'S THE ONE!

[RainbowDashian]

316175 It's not the same premise... Just the same title.

[Lucefudu]

316186 Premise =/= Plot.

"RD has troubles talking to Pinks about luv."

[RainbowDashian]

316193 Oh, yeah. I'm an idiot.

[ugugg93]

You wanna a review? Here it is.

The concept behind the story is a cute one. Not original no, but still very cute, and I enjoyed the ride that I was on while I read it. That said, the story needed a lot of filling out. The story felt rushed, never really stopping to do more than get to the next point. Let the story slow a little, smell the flowers per say. Let the tension build, and don't just THROW stuff at us. Saying Mrs. Cake is a homophobic pony is fine, but throwing it at us like you did in the story made if feel... choppy? Not sure if that's the right word, but you get what I mean. Same thing with Lyra and Bon-Bon. Would've been better if you mentioned the two earlier, and maybe also included a greater internal struggle with Pinkie, revealing that Mrs. Cake was the reason why she was struggling with the situation.

Grammar had issues, but I never had any problems reading the story, and I didn't have to stop to reread anything, so it was acceptable enough. Only MINOR issue with grammar that was reoccurring was you put a period after a talking segment ("Like this." said ugugg93). Its supposed to be a comma ("Like this," said ugugg93).

The biggest problem that I had was the ending. Very very VERY rushed, and it really didn't close the story very well. It just said, "Eh, Mrs. Cake isn't as bad about it as we though, and look at all the shipping!!!". Make a resolution. Give a more detailed explanation on what's going on (are the Cakes accepting Pinkie back? What do they think about the rest of the Mane 6?).

Also, this isn't a problem, but I find that putting an extra space in between paragraphs makes stories on this site much easier to read. All personal preference, but a think its a thought shared by a lot on this site...

Anyways, Hope this helps you in your future endeavors!

[RainbowDashian]

316233 Thanks! i'm known for rushing stories, though, so that might be part of the reason. Started it this morning...

[Cassapi]

I must say. I really like the plot of this story, even though it is used before.
Your idea have the potential to become really good, but I feel you rush the story way more than you should.
Try to slow down a bit and descripe things a lot more
But I defently support your idea.

[Darkdrake]

gunna sound like everyone else here, but this was a good story that went about five times faster then it should have.

also, it should have been 'she's an extreme homophobe' or 'she's extremely homophobic' rather then 'she's and extreme homophobic'

still, a good premise, and not badly written, just way, way, way to fast

[RainbowDashian]

316358 That was due to Firefox not recognizing "homophobe" as a word. Oh, look, neither does chrome.

[Appleloosa2011]

Short but interesting

[Alcoholism4U]

Was good, but Way to short. I wouldn't mind a rewrite with way more story. But, whatever.

[Toolkit]

Wait, wait, wait. So your telling me that , , and ?!?!? I have no words to describe how awkward I feel right now.

[Darkdrake]

317446

why? They're all fantastic ships

[Toolkit]

317457 it was just unexpected is all.

[Darkdrake]

317594

fair enough. The Derpy/Twilight explanation was funny, though

[Dreammare]

I read this without even knowing that it was you!
(I hadn't written the story yet, so yeah.)
Loved it!

[RainbowDashian]

Just reread this. Sooooo meany spelling/grammar errors.
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/482/template.jpg

[fatnight]

cute! love the idea, but, it kind of went fast. i know it is a short story, but a little too short for a short story.

still very good anyway!

[RainbowDashian]

786019
Yes, 40,000 collective views... And degrading quality. It gets worse as it goes. I'm following it. I know.

[UnlocalEntity]

I like how RD and Pinkie Pie half broke the fourth wall in this.

[Pidgeons]

I'm going to try not to repeat anything anyone else said, to save time. Ugugg93 hit the nail on the head, though, which is basically the reason for my laziness.

I liked all the shipping, except for Spike/Rarity. I would say that's just personal preference....but come on, Spike's like...around 12, and you put the mane six at mid to late 20's. So, very inappropriate.

You already know it's rushed with chunks missing from it that could have been filled out, so I'll just say that the three-month expanse of time is really dissappointed. It's great that you established a relationship early in the story rather than making it the story finale, but that can't really be enjoyed when we don't get to see the progress of the relationship.

....I'm automatically giving you points for a lack of saliva-bridge kissing, just because I've been seeing that in several stories today in a row that weren't clop >_< ...so there's that.

Derpy/Light is an awesome pairing. One of my favorites. Glad it was mentioned. Personal preference, but whatever.

[TheMobFighter]

Great First Attempted For A Rainbow Pie (Or Pinkie Dash) And That Smoothie Bit Just Like My Profile Pic!