• Member Since 4th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen February 11th

RainbowDashian


T

My name is Snow. Born a blind Pegasus, my life seemed pretty much hopeless from the get-go. However, when something unexpected occurs between the Captain of the Ponville Weather Patrol and I, my start to develop a sort of magical "sight." What is going on?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 23 )

The idea's good, just needs a bit of work, like explaining how he even got onto the weather team, and such :raritywink:
Other than that good story, I think I'll follow this one :pinkiehappy:

I wrote a fic on the same concept as this. though the OC remains blind

good enough for a watch AND a track! now write moar!:pinkiehappy:

Cool story, you could explain as to how he got into the weather team and met rainbow dash, update soon

as soon as dashie said"Well, don't you think it'd be nice to have a marefriend" i was like:rainbowkiss:

Great starter chapter can't wait to see the next one. You have earned another follower.:pinkiehappy:

A nice story.
But to be honest the progress feels quite fast paced.

Finally, a romance fic that isn't lesbian. This should be good.
However, like someone else said, you've made the relationship happen in the first chapter. Slow all the progress down so that everything develops nice and easy and that they're not mashing hooves on the couch yet.

717083 717243
That gets explained later. Probably chapter three. :pinkiehappy: If the story goes as planned, that's when it will be.

717098
Really? Linky please. :P I got the idea after reading Graceling.

717424
I do have the problem of speeding the story alo too much. However, from a blind person's point of view, you can't describe much besides smell, feel, and the like, and sight is more often hailed as pleasuring your senses more.

717806
They were originally gonna make love on her couch. So yeah. I slowed down their relationship a lot, actually. And it had to happen in the first one, otherwise the rest if the story would make no sense. You'll see. :raritywink:

Aawwww! Sweet!
I enjoy reading this story and looks forward to more chapters! :twilightsmile:

Well, at first I thought Dash was being a little too nice, but I guess you explained that by the end. So now that you have everyone's attention, you need to slow the story down and establish Snow's character. That is, if you want to do in medias res correctly.

720463
Yeah, the next chapter will be all about... Wait, I can't tell you. :twilightsmile:

720471 Additional thoughts include that the first chapter is a really bad time to have a character tell a story/have a flashback. It really slows the pace down in the beginning, and those kinds of stories always have a lot more impact once the character is significant to the reader. A sob story this early on just feels a little bit forced.

720479
That's the mildest sob story in the thing. They get worse. Much worse.

And now i curiously wait and see what happens with this.

hmm this is very interesting I would really like to see more i have already come up with a theory that involves RD on why snow is suddenly able to see through his minds eye. and a prediction of possible turmoil between the two later on. keep up the good work:yay:

725353 726720
Chapter Two is going to be a while, maybe two weeks... Sorry,

726920 meh that is fine I can wait I guess:pinkiesad2: have fun writing :pinkiehappy:

I need chapter 2. Now. :pinkiecrazy:

(Just kidding, take your time; I understand the wait. owo)

720479 your picture scares me..... :fluttercry: please.. take it off plzz :fluttershbad:

726920 you know today I was looking through a bunch of stories that I have read in the past to see what I wanted to reread. saw this one and immedietly thought about adding the comment "in before snowdrop" but now I want to say that you are 72 weeks late:trixieshiftleft:

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