Liquid_Rainbows
Joined 29th Dec, 2011 ·
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*clop* *clop*
Truth be told. If I woke up in someone's closet tied to the wall, only to have them tell me they love me. The very last thing i'd do is want to return the favor, no matter who it was. That's just insane, that being said not a bad job liquid.
I dont particularly like F/F so i just pretended I was Pinkie Pie
...
There is no way this could ever happen. If you wanna make a clopfic plot-driven, make sure the plot is plausible and that characters are in character.
1/5. Don't toy with ponies' hearts; they are delicate things.
I think you could have done more with this. The concept is actually pretty good, and I applaud you in that regard, but it never really goes anywhere. You set up a potential conflict and then immediately resolve it Deus Ex Machina.
My other complaint is the romantic sequences. While nowhere near as bad as they could be, they could have been refined. You convey physical sensation very well, kudos for that, but I didn't get enough of a sense of emotion and atmosphere, in part because it came seemingly out of nowhere. The usage of anatomical slang terms particularly rips suspension of disbelief to shreds. I can see potential, though, as you use some very vivid descriptions as well.
I hope you continue writing. With a little practice I can see you going on to do something great
I... -facehoof-
I am not against clop, with or without plot, Celestia knows I read my fair share. And your writing style itself isn't bad at all, but Rainbow and Pinkie are so far outside of character and basic rationality that I couldn't enjoy the cloppiness at all. Even beyond that I kept waiting for Pinkie to fall through the cloud floor since, y'know, she's an earth pony.
131438
Yeah, this is not one of my better works. I had a difficult time coming up with how to make the idea into an actual story.
Thanks for giving it a shot!
SO.MUCH.LOVE.
liked it very much, thnx again for the request, you rock
Can't confess to her love.
Kidnaps her in the middle of the night
Have sex and become a couple
This went better than expected
I can't say that i was disapointed but reading through it I easily found several mistakes you could easily fix by just rereading it yourself. Also, not sure if I read correctly but how was Pinkie standing on Dash's cloud home? Shouldn't she fall through it since earth ponies can't stand on clouds? But apart from that I found the story pretty interesting and very well written, hope you write more stories soon.
Pinkie went full Patty Hearst, huh? Not even remotely believable, or in character. But if someone is just in it for the clop, it's there. Keep writing.
134221 pinkie pie is fanonically part pegusi, able to stand on clouds but no wings, also apparently faster than rainbow dash. canon supports the speed part, but the walking on clouds bit we have only seen her do with spell assistance. what we do not know is the duration of said spell, we know the wings spell had a duration, and people assume that means cloudwalking does as well, for all we know every member of the mane 6 can now cloud walk to this day save rarity because her wing spell made cloud walking unnecessary.
Rainbow Dash: How do you attract a mare? What I mean is, suppose you set your heart on somepony. What would you do to get her?
Zecora: Grab her! And take her!
+20 internets for anyone who gets the reference.
135302
Dude! Now I'm gonna hear Grace Jones every time Zecora talk!
Thanks! :pinkiehappy
136492 you sir are welcome, and you may claim your internets at the nearest internet claiming facility.
I'm allergic to out-of-character ponies! * Swells up into a giant ball with clothes*
Everyone's complaining about this story, I guess I should too. Umm... in real life this would result in a prison sentence, not a relationship.
Okay now that that's out of the way, I loved it.
I don't know how you did it, but the part where Dash reveals her true intentions really moved me. So much so, that when Pinkie said "I love you too." I actually started weeping from joy. That's right, that part touched me so much, I started weeping. Great work.
Also, I love how the last sentence in your stories sums up the whole thing, whether it is intentional or not.
Me: Oh, look, a RainbowPie story. I haven't read one of those in a while.
*begins reading*
*Rainbow Dash kidnaps Pinkie in the middle of the night and ties her up in a closet*
Me: Oh...my...
*later, a sudden epiphany*
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw525_131217775698.png
*reads again*
I guess that's one way to ask a girl out.
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/132707968660.jpg
Just discovered I wrote a story with the same premise (Remember premise≠plot), titled the same thing, almost used the same cover art. I ddin't know this story existed until after...
myfacewhen.net/uploads/516-poker-face.jpg
I had to stop reading halfway through because the story was too good and I didn't want the mature part to cloud my thoughts.
i got to tha part about the 69ing and skipped the rest btw
DU FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PONYS
Every single time I see a fanfic specifically about Pinkie and Rainbow I can't help but think about FUCKING CUPCAKES!!!. WHY WON'T IT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I love the completely mixed responses this story gets!
I, for one, think this is my worst work, and many agree, while others really liked it. Pretty interesting, if I do say so myself!
185904
Wow, I only just noticed this comment. How is that even possible? It's really honoring for an author such as yourself to grace a story such as this!
Hmm...
By now, I'm quite used to the out of character deals, considering I've done a fair bit of RPing stuff of the sort. So I'm not entirely surprised to see a kidnapping here... Considering I saw Rainbow get hogtied by Applejack... >.>
That being said, I'll remain neutral on how the story is, but I do encourage ya to keep on improving. Even the best authors have room to improve! (Like I hope to be able to improve the idea of a plot for a fic I want to write... x.x)
Great story, only clop where Pinkie and Dash ACTUALLY have sex, not just foreplay!
Silver out!
Great
Story
Uh... Last time I checked only pegasi could walk on clouds without the use of a magic spell and last time I checked Rainbow's house was made of clouds... Pinkie would have fallen to her doom as soon as Dash put her on the floor... But it's Pinkie Pie so SCREW PHYSICS!!
~ Dr. William
I though rainbow kidnapped pinkie pie as revenge from cupcakes
I love how this is like a backwards Cupcakes fanfic.
But with no murder.
And I LOVE IT!