Just a dude who writes mainly clop with some action and some GrimDark on the side. Also, If you don’t like futa, you may have a bad time here :P ;)
An Equestrian twist on The Twilight Saga...
Twilight Sparkle sees a pony she really likes named Pepper Mint. She has never seen this pony before and she was very mysterious. She comes without warning and disappears without a trace. Twilight is fascinated by her and suddenly develops feelings for her...
Rated TEEN: for Sensual Situations Involving Two Females and Thematic Elements
Page generated in 0.197 seconds
Total duration
902 users online
1,214,303 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ugh...a Twilight parody. With ponies. What is wrong with you?
311781: Agreed. This is just as bad as the guy who made the Justin Bieber in Equestria thing.
BUT I guess I could give it a chance.
I shall post this cooment,read chapter, edit comment and tell you what I feel.
(Edit)Alright. WTF? Why you make Dash die? And why are you making this in 1st person? Wouldn't it make more sense to use 3rd?
And read description, you could have at LEAST have made the Pony she falls in love with a stallion and at least follow the plot line instead of a Mare.
Huh.....NO....just NO.
No.
i.minus.com/ibQ7ok.JPG
I'm going to give it a chance just because you made custom art. I've never read the real books properly before but the movies are a guilty pleasure of mine. I'll edit in what I think below the line after reading!
__
Well, nothing much happened so far so I'm not going to comment on story. My first impression was that Twilight Sparkle was OOC with the not studying but as you explained the reasoning for doing that I could feel my headcanon adapting to explain it, and it does feel like something Post-S01E01 Twilight might do. I just got some fridge logic wondering why Twilight herself hasn't really done anything with her life or gone with any of her friends, but maybe she was just happy to stay settled in Ponyville before becoming dissatisfied.
Narrative-wise, it's pretty good. I can read most of it in Twilight Sparkle's voice, which is more than can be said for most fanfiction. I did notice some redundancy in the phrases used, though, which were a little jarring. For example: "She encountered a landslide inside but, by a stroke of luck, was saved by one of the animals racing to be her pet; a turtle. Talk about a luck." Oh and also I just noticed you said turtle, but Tank is a tortoise. Different animals!
Rainbow Dash-wise, I'm a little... eeeeh. Killing RD is really, REALLY cliché nowadays. I'm ready to accept it as long as there's an actual reason for you killing her in the story and it wasn't just to get her out of the town for a while, though.
And please PLEASE PLEASE don't make this OC (who I am assuming is the Edward) into a Gary Stu (Well, Mary Sue here I guess) creep like the actual Edward is. And remember that it's an adaptation, not a direct copy. If something happened in the real story that you think Twilight would just not do, or would not put up with, then skip it, or change it or anything. I'm withholding my thumbs up/down until more chapters come but it's interested me enough to track.
311791
You seem to be upset that Dash dies and yet the majority of sad stories on this site have Dash dying. You also don't seem to like the fact that Twilight is falling in love with a mare. And, again, the majority of romance stories on this site are a pairing of Twilight and Rainbow Dash. At least I'm not pairing a human with a pony. Now THAT'S just wrong.
311887: Yes indeed but it just seems a bit cliche that she dies.
Meh thought.
I guess I have to agree with the comment above which says that even though she died, it should serve a purpose and not just get her out of the fic.
Well I don't know, your fic, do whatever you feel like writting.
311831
I am planning on ponyfying the Saw franchise and do it as an exact copy of the movies. This, however, will have the same basic plot as Twilight but will not follow it exactly. It's sort of like how the new movie Mirror Mirror is a take on Snow White, only mine won't suck as much.
311887
Paring a human with a pony? Magnificent! I will prove you right!
I probably sound stupid, but I'm curious to see how this story of yours turns out, the chapters could be more well thought out, but they get point across at least. I'm tracking this for sake of knowing when its updated, but not considering fav'ing yet.
oh my! I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT~
To 311791 & 311831
I'm hear to explain why RD died. Out of all the characters, she made sense. One of them had to die to get Twilight in a similar depressed state as Bella. But Rarity's not gonna die from making dresses. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy aren't gonna die from planning parties. Applejack's not gonna die on her farm. But RD... she isn't used to being a Wonderbolt and, therefore, made the mistake of being cocky.
So... to sum up... RD didn't die because she was RD. It just made sense to the story. Hope this clears things up.
is it sad like this fic and am very intrigued as to where its going.