My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am a Unicorn and I live in the small town of Ponyville. I've lived here all my life and for as long as I can remember, nothing too exciting has happened. Sure, an Ursa Minor went on the rampage and Equestria was threatened with eternal darkness, but I'm talking about a different kind of exciting. The kind of exciting I'm talking about is the feeling you get when you meet that special somepony. That one that makes your heart skip a beat. That one that, even when you're feeling your worst, can make everything seem okay. I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting somepony just like this. She showed me the light in the darkness that was my life. This fact being extremely ironic because... well... I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning...
It was just a normal day in my new life. All my friends had moved away. Rarity was finally able to shine across Equestria. Applejack and her family moved to a larger farm and, from what I hear, are doing great. Rainbow Dash fulfilled her dream of becoming a Wonderbolt. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy started up a party planning business together. They moved to Manehattan and bought a building. They're also doing well. I see them in Ponyville now and then when somepony asks them for their assistance. Spike is the only one that stayed with me. My only real friend. I know there's tons of other ponies in Ponyville but none of them made me feel as good as my friends did. I just wish that we could all get back together again. I sometimes dream about them. They're mostly good dreams, but there are times when they're not so good. I haven't been sleeping well lately and I've stopped studying magic. What's the point in learning things when there's nopony to share it with? Spike tells me that I need to just forget and move on but... I don't think I can. My friends were everything. On top of that, I haven't written a letter to Princess Celestia in weeks. How can one learn something new about friendship when that pony has no friends? I don't know what to do anymore.
Anyways, today is a new day. I thought something good may happen today. I was, after all, overdue for some good news. Boy, was I wrong. Spitfire of The Wonderbolts came to visit me as I sat on the floor of the library. She looked sad so I knew right then and there that my good news was going to be postponed.
"Twilight Sparkle?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
I looked at her for a second or two before answering.
"Yes?" I asked, knowing full well that I wasn't going to by happy from this.
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but..." She took a deep breath before finishing. "Rainbow Dash has... passed away."
I sat on the floor, not saying a word. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as I felt a piece of my heart fade out of existence.
"Wh-what happened?" I asked, tears now forming in my eyes as well.
"We were doing a routine flight through a canyon when... there was a landslide."
"Landslide?" I asked, remembering the past.
Rainbow Dash had encountered a similar problem before. She was trying to find out which pet would be perfect for her so she took them on a race through Ghastly Gorge. She encountered a landslide inside but, by a stroke of luck, was saved by one of the animals racing to be her pet; a turtle. Talk about a luck. But now, it seems everything is falling apart. It was one thing when her friends moved away but another thing entirely when one of them dies. I just couldn't bear it.
I said nothing. I just sat on the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. Spitfire sat down next to me and embraced me, joining me in weeping. Despite her attempt at comforting me, it was to no avail. I had lost one of my closest friends. I mean, this wasn't just somepony. This was Rainbow Dash. I had always hoped that one day our paths would cross, but now... the only way we could see each other again was if I died. And to be honest, that didn't seem like a bad idea.
"Would you like to visit her?" Spitfire asked me.
I did nothing but nod.
It took about two hours but Spitfire and I finally arrived at the accident site. There was a narrow section of the canyon that had been filled to the top with rocks and dust. There was a hoof-made flag sticking out from the rocks to mark the general area where Rainbow Dash perished. The other members of the Wonderbolts were gathered around it. When they saw me approaching they parted, allowing me easy access to the flag. I slowly walked up to it and collapsed. A placed a hoof on the ground in front of the flag.
"Why?" I whispered. "Why did this have to happen?"
Spitfire came up behind me.
"I'm sorry, Twilight." she said. Sympathy filled her voice. "I'm so sorry. I did everything I could to help, but..."
"She finally fulfilled her dream of becoming a Wonderbolt." I said. "Did you know that that's all she ever wanted?"
"Yeah." said Spitfire. "She always mentioned how happy she was."
I slowly stood up and turned to Spitfire. "Before I head back I just wanted to thank you."
"What for?" she asked.
"You were able to give Rainbow Dash the adventures she'd always dreamed of." I took a deep breath. "You made her happy, so... thank you."
"You're welcome, Twilight, but... she cared more about you than us." Spitfire said. "She always talked about you. So don't think for one second that her dreams meant more to her than you."
I nodded. "Thank you."
Spitfire gave me a hug good-bye and I made my way back to Ponyville. Little did I know that when I got back, my life would be changed forever.
Ugh...a Twilight parody. With ponies. What is wrong with you?
311781: Agreed. This is just as bad as the guy who made the Justin Bieber in Equestria thing.
BUT I guess I could give it a chance.
I shall post this cooment,read chapter, edit comment and tell you what I feel.
(Edit)Alright. WTF? Why you make Dash die? And why are you making this in 1st person? Wouldn't it make more sense to use 3rd?
And read description, you could have at LEAST have made the Pony she falls in love with a stallion and at least follow the plot line instead of a Mare.
Huh.....NO....just NO.
No.
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I'm going to give it a chance just because you made custom art. I've never read the real books properly before but the movies are a guilty pleasure of mine. I'll edit in what I think below the line after reading!
__
Well, nothing much happened so far so I'm not going to comment on story. My first impression was that Twilight Sparkle was OOC with the not studying but as you explained the reasoning for doing that I could feel my headcanon adapting to explain it, and it does feel like something Post-S01E01 Twilight might do. I just got some fridge logic wondering why Twilight herself hasn't really done anything with her life or gone with any of her friends, but maybe she was just happy to stay settled in Ponyville before becoming dissatisfied.
Narrative-wise, it's pretty good. I can read most of it in Twilight Sparkle's voice, which is more than can be said for most fanfiction. I did notice some redundancy in the phrases used, though, which were a little jarring. For example: "She encountered a landslide inside but, by a stroke of luck, was saved by one of the animals racing to be her pet; a turtle. Talk about a luck." Oh and also I just noticed you said turtle, but Tank is a tortoise. Different animals!
Rainbow Dash-wise, I'm a little... eeeeh. Killing RD is really, REALLY cliché nowadays. I'm ready to accept it as long as there's an actual reason for you killing her in the story and it wasn't just to get her out of the town for a while, though.
And please PLEASE PLEASE don't make this OC (who I am assuming is the Edward) into a Gary Stu (Well, Mary Sue here I guess) creep like the actual Edward is. And remember that it's an adaptation, not a direct copy. If something happened in the real story that you think Twilight would just not do, or would not put up with, then skip it, or change it or anything. I'm withholding my thumbs up/down until more chapters come but it's interested me enough to track.
311791
You seem to be upset that Dash dies and yet the majority of sad stories on this site have Dash dying. You also don't seem to like the fact that Twilight is falling in love with a mare. And, again, the majority of romance stories on this site are a pairing of Twilight and Rainbow Dash. At least I'm not pairing a human with a pony. Now THAT'S just wrong.
311887: Yes indeed but it just seems a bit cliche that she dies.
Meh thought.
I guess I have to agree with the comment above which says that even though she died, it should serve a purpose and not just get her out of the fic.
Well I don't know, your fic, do whatever you feel like writting.
311831
I am planning on ponyfying the Saw franchise and do it as an exact copy of the movies. This, however, will have the same basic plot as Twilight but will not follow it exactly. It's sort of like how the new movie Mirror Mirror is a take on Snow White, only mine won't suck as much.
311887
Paring a human with a pony? Magnificent! I will prove you right!