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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Respect the pimp hand.
I wouldn't suppose that his new power is just infinite pocket sand, eh?
3594397
You'll see.
You fool, who told you to stop writing this wonderful story?! Do you know who I am!? I am Night Music, Last of the Sound Striders , and I command thee- lol jk, great story, can't wait to see if they get down and dirty again
3594397 Yes, that must be the power. No other ones will do.
MUHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I could defeat this paltry Malideus with half my power, and with only one hand!
Oh my God. Your portrayal of Nicol Bolas was a masterpiece! I think my favorite thing about him was preaching his natural element, or 'Gain control of target until the end of turn. That creature gains haste. Untap that creature. Sacrifice it at the end of turn,' if you've never see Slave of Bolas.
I sensed much haste in you, Uber. This chapter was rushed beyond all reason, but I can totally see why you did it. I can feel your excitement for getting to the good stuff, which I know is gonna be so. F**king. Amazing. Just remember, bro; Knee. Back. Cry for mercy. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
X-mas-Craine...
HILARITY? It's not FUNNY what he's doing. There's nothing humorous or satirical, it's all mean-spirited. Cadence actually tried to show KINDNESS to him despite the fact he MURDERED her guards, tried to destroy all of Equestria, has been beating up citizens left and right, attacked Celestia and her darling childhood friend Twilight and is trying to destroy the whole world for no other reason than the LULZ, and he PIMP SLAPS her. He's not just misanthropic, cruel, meanspirited and a bully, he's kinda SEXIST too! This isn't FUNNY in an intentional way. You could only enjoy it in a "so bad it's good" fashion but that would be cured pretty quickly just by continuing to READ the story as you realize how DEEPLY horrific and mean-spirited this entire story is to the show.
When Cadence started talking to him, I actually thought he was going to show genuine remorse, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I thought "Maybe we'll finally get more insight into his character". But we know NOTHING about this guy except that he hates the show, is cruel and a total jerk for no good reason, is all bluster and bluff when he can't just HIT people, and sees NOTHING wrong with murdering innocent people to get power. I don't understand why you even wrote this. What is the POINT? This isn't about a conflicted villain protagonist with questionable motives but a sympathetic backstory or character. He's not a funny, hilarious, over the top villain, there's nothing humorous about what he does and the story takes pretty much all that he does dead serious. And it's not even faithful to the source material. In fact, it's rather insulting.
Just when I think you FINALLY maybe recognized how FLAWED your main protagonist is...you COMPLETELY double down on his douchebaggery. I just don't get you, I don't get this story, and I don't, for the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph understand why this thing is so popular.
3594437
I could defeat this Malideus with one of these. Oh, and a Harley. Mustn't forget the Harley.
americanrifleman.org/wp-content/uploads/Webcontent/images/2012-10/201210281928-01_1887_t-model_ply1_m.jpg
"Ah'll be bach..."
3594498
Sorry, the next chapter will be better, though.
I hope.
3594488 I know what a douche. he would have been a better villain if like bowser he was all wind and piss. That is what made it funny
Just to point out - "She says, putting a hand on my shoulder". Are we in an anthroverse now?
3594488
You sound awfully mad about this. I can see why some people wouldn't care for this type of story, but there's no reason to get this upset. Frankly, I do find it to be funny, to be a good story, and more importantly, to be original. I'm tired of HiE's where the humans an upstanding dude and everybody get's along, it's been beaten to death. I'm even tired of HiE's where villainous characters enter Equestria, only to suddenly act completely OOC and become reformed, because ponies. This is a fresh perspective. He's supposed to be a bad person. He's supposed to be evil. That's the only reasoning he needs for the things he does. From the description of the story, what did you expect to happen? Why would you read a story like this knowing that he's going to be doing bad things to characters that you obviously can't stand to see hurt? Finally, a legitimate villain has entered Equestria, and I for one cannot wait for more.
3594529
To be fair to Bowser, he actually shows concern for his children and has, to an extent, SOME concern for Peach, and will occasionally show a sense of fair play to Mario. Heck, they go GO-KARTING and stuff once in a while. There's a sense of light-heartedness with the Mario villains and even with someone like Discord. Someone in the comments said Chris is like a more meaner version of the Discord. A lot of what Discord does can be pretty horrible, but he has charisma, he has a funny sense of humor, and you can get some great gags from him. Chris? Well...notsomuch.
3594542 That and discord has a sense of reason behind his choas he even has a sense of fair play apart for Fluttershy ofcourse
3594537 That is why we are upset because it had this gleaming light advertising its potential then when you finaly read it you realise just how hollow and retarded the character really is
3594537
A legimate villain? We know nothing of his past or character. He's not got charisma or cleverness or real skills, he bluffs and cheats and just beats up girls. He runs away whenever things look bad for him, and basically his girlfriend has to save his skin. Does he have a softer, sympathetic side we can relate to? Not really. Does he have a sympathetic backstory or a character that makes him relatable or empathetic? Not really. Grimdark stories infest popular culture and fanfiction like a plague. It's why Game of Thrones and Walking Dead are so darn popular. It's why stories like Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory won't go away. I'm not asking for rainbows coming outta this guy's butt and for him to be happy happy joy joy, I'm asking for a guy that isn't so two-dimensional, or if he's gonna be two-dimensional, for him to be at least CARTOONISH in his flat characterization and villainy. But he's not over the top funny, he just seems...nasty. Cruel. There's nothing witty or the like about him. He's no Q. He's no Dexter. He's no Hannibal. He's no Darth Vader. He's just a thug and a bully. Why would you want to read about a protagonist like that with nothing substantive to offer?
3594550
3594542
Could you both please go away?
3594567
For what, the unpardonable sin of pointing out why your protagonist doesn't WORK? And BTW, I read your other stories, the "I've made worse" excuse you gave me last time is a pretty lousy par. If you don't want me pointing out what doesn't work in your story, then the answer is write a better story. Write a better, more meaningful protagonist. Actually show character development and a real plot and not just have it be an obvious self-indulgent villain fantasy!
I've had people criticize MY work up the ying yang too. I took it in stride and strode to write better work. I didn't just say "Get lost, yo" or "BAH! Haters gonna hate"! If they had legit points, I LISTENED. As should you.
oh this is going to be so good
3594565
Because I've never seen it done this well in a story before. Because people like him actually exist, and I enjoy reading about his exploits. He's a dick, a total douche. He does terrible things for no real reason without stopping to think about it. This has been established. And that's why I want to read more. I can't tell you how many stories I've read where a character is set up as though he could really introduce the ponies to evil at a human standard, only to have that character never really do anything sinister. God forbid a pony get's hurt, or much less killed. I actually thought it was a bit unreasonable when he only wounded Fluttershy instead of killing her, considering his lack of care with taking the lives of other ponies. Am I some grimderp who only wants to see the death and misery of MLP characters? Not at all. Do I find it unacceptable when these elements are incorporated well into a story? No. This story obviously isn't for you, but don't assume everyone shares your opinion on what makes a character worthwhile.
3594599
But it's NOT incorporated well. He HAS no character outside of being an unlikable douche. We know NOTHING about him other than him being an unlikable douche who just had everything he could ever really need to do anything he wanted to whomever he wanted basically dropped into his lap. He didn't undergo any kind of real struggle or conflict to become stronger, he met up with a dragon, snuck an amulet out after threatening to kill a child, and then had that dragon basically do all the heavy lifting he couldn't do. Nothing he did except for his blustering was his own skill or intelligence. And again! We know NOTHING of this guy. Why he's so cruel and mean! What's his family like? Where are his friends? How did he even end up in Equestria at all after just randomly passing out at a party? He's utterly flat as a character and he has no real REASON to do what he does, he's just DOING it. That is NOT good motivation! And yeah, Discord does what he does for kicks, but he's funny about it, he has charisma, charm and oozes style. This guy's without any of that.
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130306110061/video-game-championship-wrestling/images/9/94/Daniel_Bryan_YES.gif
3594621
I tend to skip heavy exposition anyway, I'd really rather not be subjected to a flashback of why he is the way he is. I'm afraid we're going in circles here, I just have to say that the likes don't lie. I can tell you don't like it, but I'm afraid it's not because you're some literature connoisseur, and the rest of us are just ignorant parts of the unwashed masses, weened on the teat of modern "edgy" stupidity as you seem to imply.
3594575
Don't make me get the banhammer!
I'm always reading uptight dramatical fanfics, this is a definite choice to satisfy the 'fun' meter on the side :P
I can't wait for the next chapter(s)! /)
3594488 Still loving this story, it has certain subtle cues that require a careful and intelligent eye to notice, and enough violence and hate to satisfy my baser enjoyment aswell, and as a word to the author, don't let these guys get to you, if they really hated it, they would not be waiting for the next chapter so they can bash it, this story is excellent, but do keep in mind that nobody likes a tragedy in this day and age, so make sure he gets morals eventually. I will give it... a good even 4 chapters before this paticular train of plot annoys me, and that is just an estimate, as i am still waiting anxiously for the next chapter.
3594648 And in one reply you have lost all respect I had for you. Shitty character development and instead of taking all criticism, you ask us to piss of because what you cant take the fact that you fucked the pooch with this story in fact you fucked it so hard the pooch had to lock itself in the bathroom for an hour with soothing cream.
3594537
The story had an anthro tag from the start.
Me? I'm waiting for the next chapter. Haven't voted yet, but I'm getting awfully tired of this douche escaping one situation he worked himself into to the next by virtue of sheer dumb luck.
3594621 exactly there is no reason for his cruelty. What inbreed retard is so nasty that they end up in an alien world and have nothing but disgust and hatred for a species that have done nothing but tried to help and give him opportunity and time to maybe accept there friendship. As I said great potential shitty follow up
3594669
Huh, so it does.
FINALLY! DIE TWILIGHT, DIE!
3594621 And that is your opinion....
3594645
Please explain how a story like THIS has almost as many likes as "The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum", when that has ten times as much effort and characterization put into it, and likable protagonists that whilst starting out problematic, undergo real development. There's real detail and crafting in the setting, we get a good grasp of the world the character was from and is in, and it has a great amount of strong supporting characters. Yet THIS story has almost as many likes as THAT? How about you explain why this story has the same popularity as THAT tale? Go ahead. Defend this tale. Explain what I'm evidently not "getting"!
Hell my character got raped beaten tortured and whipped in darker paths and he at least is reasonable enough to know who to blame. What is your guys excuse unless his uncle wore a horse mask whilst touching him there is no need for the aggression and douche ego.
Nicol, you know that dragons can take human form right?
3594575 ...A protagonist doesn't have to be meaningful...They can be the lousiest of person, and still be decent enough. It's shitty to move all characters down the 'path of good'. It's unrealistic. Malideus just gets more evil. Soon, he'll be evil enough to actually be evil and not be comedic. The trials and successes of a villain is far more unusual than the trials and successes of a 'hero'.
3590361 well shit.
3594654 Dude he slaughtered crystal empire soldiers stole attacked belittled and was a massive cunt to three princesses as well as threatening to kill a child trust me the only morals he is going to have is the moral choose to rape the inhabitants of a village before burning it to the ground or to show some humanity and just slaughter them
Will his descendants get magic now?
3594712
I've never read any of the Conversion Bureau stories, the summary just never appealed to me. And as another said, lengthy novels in fanfiction form that are painfully crafted masterpieces with explicit detail and intricate story line progression are something to be cherished and revered, there's no doubt. But sometimes people just want to cut back and have fun, see what happens when someone who IS willing to act like a complete jackass to an alien species that truly doesn't deserve it shows up. I wouldn't really compare the two types of stories.
3594730
3594712
Yo ninja, might already know this, but you got a couple haters, like literally these two specifically. and from what i can tell, it is ONLY these two. aight well hope the next chapter is as gold as the rest.
(Oh and P.S. rule of the internet states that the more you hate something the stronger it becomes)
3594719
But he's NOT comedic! He's not funny or witty. He's got no charisma or amusing one-liners he spits out. He doesn't use anything but his ability to bluff and run really fast to get out of situations and he doesn't really fight except when he's got every single advantage possible, and he didn't even get the power or skills he has through any kind of perilous journey or through perseverance or struggle, he snuck into a shop and threatened a kid he would murder her if she didn't help him! He uses "autistic" as an insult, spits in the face of the one person that actually tried to reach out to him, and he's been this same, unpleasant, UNFUNNY, cruel being for SEVEN CHAPTERS STRAIGHT. It's just the same thing over and over. He goes somewhere other ponies are, fights with them, insults them and beats them up, then runs away or regroups when it looks like he's going to lose. Rinse and repeat.
3594712
In a word, it's like you're trying to compare The Lord of The Rings to Southpark.
3594665
It's not because you are criticizing me. It's because you say the same thing over and over and have entire arguments with those who DO like my story.
3594754
Will do, bro.
3594754 hey mate do you know that you just stated the fucking obvious. And in fact I actually liked this story until the whole douche bag thing got old. Also nice job on being a massive kiss ass
3594764 Kinda like real life eh? Cause that is sounding like a VILLAIN, you know, those guys that do bad things for worse reasons?
He is villain ala Flucifer, not Don Claw Leone
3594764 And eventually that won't work...Think about team rocket...Pokémon fans watched more than a whole season before that became tired...I think the author knows when to stop...but personally, I hope his cruelty gets worse...and he finally learns how to be a true villain. I hate the sappy, everything-gets-better-eventually bullshit that most stories have. This might eventually get somewhere good, but until then, you, and I, will have to suck it up.
3594779
South Park can be enjoyed on a Satirical level. South Park has a variety or protagonists, if you don't like one, you can enjoy another. It has different jokes, some mature and some childish...in fact, some VERY silly and penis-related...but it's still WELL-WRITTEN for the most part, and has a good blend of humor, enjoyable characters and funny settings. There was no real establishing of who the protagonist really is, no establishing of what's different about THIS Equestria from the show besides the ponies being anthro, no real humor or funny jokes in the story, just rather mean-spirited beating up meant to kind of indulge in the lowest common denominator in people that just want to see bad things happen to innocent people, and there's not even really any plot. He's just basically screwing around, and he has no real motivation or the like. Don't play the "It's not Shakespeare" card. I'm not asking for this to WOW me. All I'm asking is for it to be entertaining or be funny or be meaningful or be deep or be touching or the like and it isn't ANY of that.
3594785 Really because up to now all I was doing was talking with my fellow "hater" and discussing how this fic could get back on track. Stop being a twat and change the approach to this story. Trust me you are going to lose a lot of fans when the dim-witted ones start to realise the recurring theme. Be a massive douche, get lucky escape, be an asshole to those that despite there suffering at his hands are still prepared to show mercy.