Commissar Twilight Sparkle has a problem. She is expected to be a brave, fearless leader who can coerce a regiment of common ponies to perform great feats of courage and skill through a combination of inspiration and fear, often times against genetically engineered super-soldiers, warped cultists, demons from hell, soulless murder machines, an inscrutable precursor race, their fallen brethren and the naive upstarts known as the Human Empire. Unfortunately, she considers herself a cowardly, self-serving mare with too much knowledge and not enough guts to use it. In short, she's the sort of pony she's supposed to shoot.

Yet her actions, through minor acts of heroism, critical thinking and sheer dumb luck have landed her quite the reputation as a heroine. The parties and liquor are nice, as is the companionship. But the generals simply pin on another metal, tell her that she's done a good job, give her a pay raise and find new, more creative ways to try and kill her.

She has to survive a hostile universe and execute her duties, without earning the ire of her superiors or dying in a 'unfortunate friendly fire incident'. All while trying to find a way to retire with honor, or at least find a nice and quiet posting with a good book, a good looking colt and a steady supply of tea and cider.

[Taken from the 'Sparkle Archives', and edited by Inquisitor Trixie of the Ordo Xeno. Unauthorized distribution punishable by enhanced interrogation techniques, torture, drawing and quartering, and execution.]

[MLP copyrighted to Hasbro. Warhammer 40k copyrighted to Games Workshop. Caiaphas Cain copyrighted to the Black Library and originally created by Sandy Mitchell. This is a derivative work, created for entertainment by Solvable Sphinx, aka fijkus. Unauthorized distribution is frowned upon.]