Commissar Twilight Sparkle has a problem. She is expected to be a brave, fearless leader who can coerce a regiment of common ponies to perform great feats of courage and skill through a combination of inspiration and fear, often times against genetically engineered super-soldiers, warped cultists, demons from hell, soulless murder machines, an inscrutable precursor race, their fallen brethren and the naive upstarts known as the Human Empire. Unfortunately, she considers herself a cowardly, self-serving mare with too much knowledge and not enough guts to use it. In short, she's the sort of pony she's supposed to shoot.
Yet her actions, through minor acts of heroism, critical thinking and sheer dumb luck have landed her quite the reputation as a heroine. The parties and liquor are nice, as is the companionship. But the generals simply pin on another metal, tell her that she's done a good job, give her a pay raise and find new, more creative ways to try and kill her.
She has to survive a hostile universe and execute her duties, without earning the ire of her superiors or dying in a 'unfortunate friendly fire incident'. All while trying to find a way to retire with honor, or at least find a nice and quiet posting with a good book, a good looking colt and a steady supply of tea and cider.
[Taken from the 'Sparkle Archives', and edited by Inquisitor Trixie of the Ordo Xeno. Unauthorized distribution punishable by enhanced interrogation techniques, torture, drawing and quartering, and execution.]
[MLP copyrighted to Hasbro. Warhammer 40k copyrighted to Games Workshop. Caiaphas Cain copyrighted to the Black Library and originally created by Sandy Mitchell. This is a derivative work, created for entertainment by Solvable Sphinx, aka fijkus. Unauthorized distribution is frowned upon.]
Interesting story... Please continue.
I'm not a warhammer fan myself, I've barely even heard of the game, but this story has managed to grab my attention. No major spelling mistakes either. The only one I could spot is that you put "Moral" instead of "Morale", which technicaly isn't a spelling mistake anyway. Also, is Captian General an actual rank in the warhammer universe? It sounded a bit odd to me.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more of this story. Tracked and thumbed up my friend.
Oh wow. This is amazing. Combining MLP with Warhammer... I can't stop laughing.
Hero of the Imperium meets Faithful Student... Oh, this will be outstanding. I look forward to seeing how you choose to combine the two universes.
(Also, I can't help but think of how often Sulla is described as horse-faced in the Cain novels. How suitable.)
ciaphas cain and ponies? aww yeah!
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words cannot express how awesome i expect this to be
FRIENDSHIP FOR THE FRIENDSHIP GODS!
This is pretty well written. Interested to see if this plays out like Ciphias Cain, or Reteif! (Keith Laumer).
You sir. Have earned my thumbs-up. Kindly keep this going?
Speaking as a long-time 40K Player, and a Brony. This looks to be brilliant! In fact, I find myself eagerly anticipating the next chapter...
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In mainline 40k universe the Imperium of Man is so large that standardization is unfeasable. Each world brings with it it's own military and cultural traditions. So while certain phrases, such as Colonel, Company, Sergent, etc. may be used they may be called by Chief Hetman, Cohort, Kersantii, etc.
In this case Applejack's proper title according to the Adeptus Adminstrum (I could be spelling this wrong) on Holy Equestria would be Lady General, but since she commands Generals under the authority of the Lord General Militant it can be said that she's the Captain of the General Staff, and thus the Captain General. Other name variations include Lord Castillian (Lord of the Castle, used on the fortress world of Cadia and chosen by common consent), and Lord Marshall.
The Commissariat and the Inquisition use similar titles to denote position within their internal hierarchy. Commissars are an integral part of the Imperial Guard, but are political officers who are necessarily outside of the chain of command and police themselves. Twilight's boss is a Commissar-General, and she would be expected to eventually train Commissar-Cadets. On rare occasions a particularly exceptional commissar may hold a regimental command, such as the case of Colonel-Commissar Gaunt of the Tanith First and Only. Or they may be like Commissar Yarrick and generals in their rights without styling themselves a different title.
In my case I'll be using some archaic ranks, but only when needed and only when it makes sense given the root meaning of the word.
This is too good to pass up. I look forward to it, especially with the way you've painted Twilight right off the bat.
FOR THE EMPEROR!!!
A Ciaphas Cain/MLP crossover?
Take all my bits!
Ponies and Warhammer 40k. Two of my favourite things. Both so very different, yet surprisingly I find they often blend together very well. Will we be seeing the War Hogs? Or Diamond Dogs.
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299722 Thanks, that makes things alot clearer.
TO BAD THAT THE IMPERIUM WILL BE WIPED OUT BY THE NECRONS IN A FEW DECADES! NOT EVEN THE EMPROR CAN STAND AGAINST THE NECRON SWARM!3.bp.blogspot.com/-QcDAu0JjLf0/Tc4VR3WF3hI/AAAAAAAABMc/Qc6gHqsY1oo/s1600/my+little+necrons.jpg
Good job on evoking the feel of Ciaphas Cain, though I think you overdid it on the footnotes.
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I would thank you for the compliment, but I am unaware of this 'Cain' you speak of. My savant Snails could find no record of him or her either. However your concerns, and those of all of my fellow colleagues, have been noted.
=II= The Great and Powerful Inquisitor Trixie, Ordo Xeno
Ah, should've realized it's here, too. Tracking. And I'm definitely gonna track down those Cain omnibuses too.
Just started reading The Last Ditch. I wholly approve of this story.
I need to find the most recent story, during the time of Cain's service with the Reclimators. I do intend to read through this wonderful work.
Okay, this is excellent. One suggestion: Actually putting footnotes at the bottom doesn't work very well in such a vertically extended format like this. I spent too long skipping to the end and back, looking up each footnote as I encountered it.
One system that I've seen used very successfully by the Naruto/Cain crossover Sasuke Uchiha- HERO OF KONOHA! ( http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=177374 ) is to put each footnote below the paragraph in which it is referenced.
Hmm, I'm sad that this fic appears abandoned, as it's one of the more promising MLP/40k fics I've seen, which is saying something. I've read a lot. Surprisingly, this isn't the first one where Twilight takes on the role of Cain, but it seems to be a winning formula. Not that I consider her very similar to Cain; I can't really think of any of the mane 6 truly filling those shoes. Regardless, your writing does the Cain a surprising amount of justice. No (or at least few) errors and a great narrative voice.
I will offer my lamentations unto the Goddess-Empress, that She might inspire you to continue it.
Ave Imperatrix Celestialis
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I find myself more partial to WarmaHordes these days, but 40K was my first minis games and as such retains a special place in my heart. I'll continue this after I see a few other things through.
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Praise the Empress! Glorious is She in Canterlot, who brings us all glad tidings, as surely as She brings us a new dawn.
But seriously, that's nice to hear. You can imagine my discouragement, to see a story I was just starting to really enjoy, only to see that there's been no activity for eleven months. If you want, you could even add this story to the warhammer 40k group, for a slight boost of like-minded exposure when you decide to pick it back up.
It's a pity this is only one chapter, but it is already a good one.
NOPONY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION
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