Twilight Sparkle is tired. Tired of spending every other month saving Equestria. Tired of being the bearer of the Element of Magic. Tired of having no romantic prospects. She's tired of dealing with the politics that comes from being the Dean of Magic at Princess Luna's university. And most of all she's tired of being at a dead end in her life. Some days, she just wanted to wake up, and not have to deal with any of those things.
Sometimes ponies get their wishes in the most unexpected ways.
[Reboot of The Trouble with Time Travel]
Sounds good.
Interesting, looking forward to a psycho twi in this, like and a track here
"Sparkle’s Ontological Inertia"
Oh dear Lord, she's been studying trope magic. Pinkie Pie, what have you done?
In any case, this looks good. A shame you felt the need to reboot, but I'm looking forward to seeing the outcome. I look forward to any expodumps you have planned for a certain coat rack.
I think this needs to continue. This is an excellent start. Lots of potential here. Please write more.
I think I will enjoy reading this very, very much.
Awesome chapter, cant wait to see what you've done with Applejack!
The little hints as to greater divergence than we suspected, like Starswirl "the Righteous"? Love them.
The pervasive minor typos? Not so much.
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That's what the SpaceBattles thread is for.
I'll edit it later. But right now I need a little time so that I can see it with fresh eyes and actually read it and find mistakes instead of skipping over it. Such is the hazards of self editing.
I'm not sure how to feel about this story. On one hand, I love stories like this, where a main character goes back in time and either tries to fix things, or just fool around. On the other hand, I also like it when those stories involve the world staying nearly the same until the character starts changing things. This is certainly not one of those stories. This story just changes way too many things in my opinion.
So I'm kind of neutral about this. I guess I'll keep following it though.
So, Granny Smith huh? Interesting idea.
Huh. Well, that's an interesting change. Twilight seems to be adapting fairly well, though by the time she gets to Pinkie...
Well, it's Pinkie. Even if she's almost reminiscent of Rorschach. In any case, looking forward to more.
"Princess Celestia’s Earth pony student" oh God my sides
"Always muttering about this or that, like somepony’s got a bounty on her. But the Princess took care of that, she did,” Granny Smith said
No pony puts the squeeze on the Royal supply of Hard Cider?
And Granny is very insightful, almost a pony Yoda.
Applejack done up as Bonnie Elizabeth Parker? Had to doublecheck some of the 20s slang. Sikh isn't showing up though.
Princess Celestia remembered when a lack of liquor, beer and wine was a public health crisis because it was the only way ponies in the area knew how to decontaminate their water. So do the Royals/alicorns who do not have a set life span.
Applejack's partially based off of the generic flapper. The fact that someone as smalltime as Bonnie Parker just happened to be a twenty something in a time when twenty somethings dressed like that is no surprised. I've seen the Death Car in the Texas Prison Museum, and trust me when I say something like that isn't going to happen to AJ/OJ.
Sikh (or however you spell that Indian ethnicity) was slang for a metro-sexual/feminine young man who hung out at jazz clubs and the like. In the era were men were expected to be a manly farmer/factory worker/miners/Teddy Roosevelt, they were naturally not well looked upon by people who were not a part of the counter culture of the day.
Wait, five pony tribes? What's the fifth one?
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Tribe of Earth, Tribe of Air (Pegasi), Tribe of the Seas (Sea Ponies, now extinct), Tribe of Magic, Tribe of Priests/Concepts (Alicorns)
“Lets get you cleaned up, then,” Twilight replied, before grinning a little bit. “You’re a Ranger, so lead the way.”
I was listening to this when I read this. That's a freaky coincidence.
A Mooninite dress? So it's low resolution and foul-mouthed? Or does it light up and cause the city of Boston to panic irrationally?
In any case, I really like this Fluttershy. I don't know why, but it just works. Creepily well, at that. Definitely looking forward to more.
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Pun off of the Mennonite sect. In this case, a pony adaptation of a foreign moon worshiping religion.
I'm also pretty sure that Pie is an immigrant, and may speak with a mild South African accent.
That was magnificent.
That was a truly badass fight. I can't wait for moar.
I only noticed three errors:
Between writing in her journal quickly to keep from loosing any data in case she died,
“What exactly does Pinkie mean by ‘The Chose One’?” Twilight asked
the self proclaimed empress = asked, seemingly amused.
We need a cover image, this is too awesome to be left without one.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
Lieutenant Belle?
ell-tee?
Why did you change Rarity's name? Or spell out letters?
I must say, that was confusing.
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It was working on the assumption that some or all ponies have family names, or that families would follow the same naming conventions. Belle would be the assumed family name. Lt. Belle just sounds more right than Lt. Rarity, and I can take a certain amount of liberties with an AU.
El Tee spells out LT, the initialization of the rank of Lieutenant. It's a casual, almost affectionate way that American service-members may refer to an officer of that rank. Rarity and Captain Macintosh are both fairly well liked members of the community. (As implied already there are militaries and wars of varying size, but there are relatively few professional soldiers in comparison to the defensive militias that the ponies have.)
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Flutterponies?
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There's this fanon that Rarity's full name is Rarity Belle, as her sister's is Sweetie Belle. Military personell are usually adressed by their surname - in our world and culture, where they have one, at least.
That's my guess.
“I can’t believe this actually got approved,” Shining Armor muttered.
Nice Gilligan's Cut!
This will turn out very interesting. I'm a little confused by this version of Dash, but it will manage. Religious fanatic Diane Pie is a hoot.
A minor but annoying matter: you keep replacing your with you're, short for "you are". Just so you know it.
Old comment, for an old chapter, but surprised no one commented and pointed out the biggest hint in the story. The last Line:
“May the gods help that poor old mare. She really doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into,” the older Earth pony said
Granny Smith knows that Twilight is older than she looks.
(Fluttershy spoke up again. “Until you reach the Zone of Alienation, the Everfree is relatively safe. Improperly managed, but safe. Inside of the Zone of Alienation, besides myself and Zocora, your sister who is not your sister is the most prepared.”)
Zecora.
A good fic.
Really very great.^_^
The only thing that would have made it better was if you had included humans as one of the tribes that live there.
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Even if they existed at some point, 'humans' would not have been a tribe of ponies. They'd be one of the other races out there.
Anyway, this is even better than the last shot at it. It's certainly much more coherent in my mind. I really like reading it, and I look forward to more. Warjacks sound like fun, and I'm looking forward to Twilight throwing around more totally epic magic. It's one thing to specialize in magic, but from most ponies perspective she's probably just jaw-dropping at this point, given that she's wielding magic that won't get invented for at least another century around these parts.
1195934 You are, of course, assuming that magic is progressing at the same rate in this world as it was in the old one. Considering the lack of interest in studying magic, that number would probably be closer to 300-400 at best, 1000 at worst...
Really hoping this version doesn't go the way of the dodo like it's predecessor. I want to see one of these finish, dagnabit!
1176266 is a diferent world he can do what he want.
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Considering the historical growth of physics, which is my own field, it is more like a hundred. Lord Kelvin said that there were "two little clouds" which needed to be solved before physics was complete, at which point everyone who isn't interested in calculating things to the sixth decimal point could learn everything and go on with their lives.
Those "two little clouds" were quantum mechanics and special relativity, which lays the groundwork for things like GPS, electronics and so called string theory. (It's the most publicized and accepted of the GUTs, but I don't trust it since a lot of things in it are currently unfalsifiable.)
The problem is that their version of their century's Galileo, James Clerk Maxwell, or Albert Einstein, who was all poised to make her major breakthrough is... Twilight Sparkle.
Zecora. With an E.
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That edit has been made. I'll have to go though it again when I'm not getting ready for bed.
“Because now I have to kill again.”
Damn
“Prophecies are meant to be vague things until retrospect is upon us."
You'd think that Twilight would be used to/expecting this sort of thing by now.
This story lives! Update sooner!
Nice!
I am confused even more now.
Fluttershy is descended from a line of perennial badasses who have been touched by vorlons. That's pretty nifty.
No real comments other than that come to mind except maybe "Damn, I really want to read more of this because it is so curiously interesting."
I especially like this chapter because Fluttershy and Twilight, even if it's just Twilight trolling Spike. Still.
Interesting. Faved!
Oh sweet Luna it updated?!
i.imgur.com/KzTuo.gif
Nice, been waiting for an update to this - good chapter. Can't wait to see what twilight does in the next.
Positively delightful. I need to find more stories along these lines. Twilight in an alternate universe is one thing, but such a charmingly offbeat alternate universe at that...
Let me just write this:
Flair - Style, flash, panache
Flare - Flash of bright light, signaling device
Their - Third person plural possessive pronoun
They're - They are
Your - Second person singular possessive pronoun
You're - You are
Okay, that's out of my system. I'm definitely looking forward to more, especially the assuredly thrilling conclusion of this first act.
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The problem I have with English is that I'm a native speaker. I'm much better at speaking math.
As we age, we're suited for bigger things. "Our" Twilight has finally aged enough to be barely competent in this higher fantasy Equestria.
Gladly set for "Read Later."
You should use "
[hr]
" instead, which makes an actual horizontal rule (divider line).