The Cave of Forbidden Love

by Yosh-E-O

The Cave of Forbidden Love

"Twilight," said Spike. "I'd like to request a few days off."

"Time off?" asked Twilight. "What for?"

"Personal reasons," replied Spike.

"What kind of 'personal reasons'?" asked Twilight.

"Can I have the time off, or not?" he insisted.

"Well," said Twilight. "I suppose."

"Great!" exclaimed Spike as he picked up his supplies and charged towards the door.

"WAIT!" cried Twilight as she used her magic to teleport in front of Spike. "What's this all about?"

"I," he said. "I won't know until I see this through."
Twilight thought for a moment.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

"No," he replied firmly. "This is something I and I alone must do."

Twilight watched as Spike exited the library. She might've asked more questions. However, Spike appeared determined and she knew there would be no stopping him.

Spike looked back towards Ponyville as he entered into the Everfree Forest.

"I'm sorry," he said with a wave. "But, I must know and this is the only way I'll ever find out."

Spike held his head up high and entered into the depths of the forest.

The journey Spike was taking was one that he was surprised that Twilight had not caught him researching prior to requesting some time off.. Though, he was quite secretive when he went abut scanning the books in the library in which pertained to love stories and ways in which some pony could become some pony else. Or, in his case, how some dragon could become the pony a certain, purple-maned unicorn would not be able to resist.

"The Amulet of Love's True Form," he said to himself while keeping himself observant for any impending dangers. "An amulet that, when worn, turns its wearer into the one in which he or she most desires."

Spike ventured deeper-and-deeper into the Everfree Forest. As he did, the forest canopy grew thicker-and-thicker and everything around him became darker-and-darker.

The young dragon used his fire breath to light a torch, which illuminated the overgrowth of the forest in an eerie, green light.

"I won't be scared," he said to himself. "This is for Rarity. No! This is for us!"

Spike made his way deeper into the forest until the forest itself had completely blotted out the sun. The only source of light now was his torch that now flickered around the outside of a deep, dark cave.

"This must be it," he said as a lump formed in his throat. "The Cave of Forbidden Love."

The cave was even darker than a moonless night. It was also as quiet as quiet could be.

Spike's heart pounded as only his torch, breathing, and footsteps could be seen or heard. The cave was dead. Lifeless. As if it was never intended to be entered. As if it were never intended to be left.

Spike felt his heart begin to pound out of his chest as his knees started to buckle. This sensation grew only stronger as he proceeded further into the lifeless cave.

"No d-doubt that thi-this is the-the ra-right place," he stuttered.

Spike felt his nerve fading. He knew he was quite vulnerable and that day had certainly turned to night between his entering the cave and venturing into its depths.

Spike's teeth were chattering and he could barely keep his hands and feet steady by the time he came upon a large opening within the cave.

The dragon gasped upon hearing how the sound of his very breathing had begun to echo off the walls of the room. The lump in his throat now beginning to make him feel sick as his instincts screamed for him to run for his life.

"Th-there," he said while taking a hesitant step forward. "Th-that's ga-ga got to be i-it."

At the opposite end of the chamber, Spike could see his torchlight reflecting off of a jewel. A jewel in which was attached to an eloquently designed amulet made of silver.

Spike's feet were frozen in place at the room's entrance. His own breathing startling him as it grew faster and louder. There was a chill in the air that just didn't feel right and he swore he could hear the sound of a heartbeat echoing about the room.

With a gulp, Spike eyed up his target and ran as fast as he could towards it.

"Got it!" he cried upon placing his hands upon the artifact. "The Amulet of Love's True Form.. Just as Twilight's book described."

As Spike removed the amulet from its setting, he couldn't help but notice the sound of something clicking. No. Not clicking. Flapping.

Spike looked out to the open chamber. He didn't know if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but he swore he was seeing tiny, glowing, orbs beginning to fill into the room.

"Oh, oh, oh…" he gasped as his feet gave out and he fell upon his backside.

"Join us…" a voice whispered. "Join us…"

"Who-who… who's there?" he called out while backing himself against the wall.

"Join us…" the voice whispered again. "Join us…"

The whisper-like tone grew louder-and-louder and seemed to be coming from all directions. The tiny, glowing orbs also seemed to fill the room with their eerie, pulsing light.

"Follow us…" the whispers called. "Follow us to true love…"

Spike watched as the tiny, glowing orbs began to align themselves in a way that made a path to another opening in the room that didn't quite seem like the one he had entered through.

"Love…" the voices said. "True love…"

Spike stood up and felt his worries begin to slip away. The warmth of the pulsing orbs lulling him into a sense of security he had not felt since entering the cave.

"Oh," he said as he tightly gripped the amulet. "Thank you,"

"Love…" the voices whispered. "Eternal love…"

Spike felt compelled to follow the path of eerie lights. However, something just didn't seem right.

"Come…" the voices whispered. "Eternal love awaits…"

Spike resumed walking in the direction the lights were guiding him. They were so warm and inviting.

"Love…" the voices whispered. "Eternal love…"

"Oof!" Spike cried as he tripped on a rock. This surprised him and caused him to belch out a torrent of fire breath.

"WHA!" he cried as his fire breath lit the path he was about to head down. Inside was a collection of various skeletons in which surrounded a most frightening looking, rune-covered panel that glistened with red sparkles.

"No…" the voices whispered as the orbs began to glow a frightening shade of red. "No escape…"

Spike dashed as fast as he could towards where he believed the way he had come in was. As he did, the pulsing, red light of the orbs began to illuminate the room in a way that even his worst nightmares couldn't have imagined.

"Love…" the voices cried. "Your love…"

"NO!" cried Spike just before tripping again. When he looked up, he felt the air leave his lungs as his eyes fixated on a dark, green-eyed, pony-like creature with fangs.

"Your love!" it said ferociously. "You will give me all your love!"

Spike took to his feet. The tattered pony was before him as the collection of red, pulsing lights made their way behind him.

"Waah!" he cried as he dashed past the mangled pony.

"Get him!" it hissed as the orbs gave chase.

Spike felt his legs burning as he pushed them to run like they had never ran before. His eyes fixating on the path that he knew would surely guide him out.

"Spike!" cried a voice as a phantasmal unicorn appeared before him. "Follow me!"

"Rarity?" he cried as he watched the ghostly, white and purple unicorn dash down the left tunnel where he now had to choose between going left, or right.

"Spikey-Wikey!" the unicorn called. "Hurry!"

Spike's instincts told him to trust this pony. So he did.

"After him!" the mangled pony cried. "Don't let him escape!"

Spike ran for his life. His body pouring with sweat as his eyes began to burn from how fixated he was on the phantasmal unicorn guiding him to wherever it was guiding him.

"Here!" she cried. "Quickly!"

Spike pressed his feet to go faster than he has ever run before. Soon, he was feeling grass under his feet instead of stone. He had made it.

Looking back, Spike noticed the phantasmal, white and purple colored unicorn looking towards him.

"Spike," she said. "May no one deny you your love."

The unicorn dashed back into the cave. As it did, a great flash of red burst from the entrance that caused Spike to continue running as far away from it as he could.

Spike ran for what seemed like hours before he just fell to the ground. However, the ground he had fallen upon was the backyard of their zebra friend, Zecora.

The backdoor opened.

"Something outside fell quite hard," she stated while looking about. "There is a baby dragon in my yard!"

Feeling at peace, Spike's exhaustion caught up with him and he lost consciousness. When he awoke, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Apple Jack, and Rarity were all standing before him as Zecora brought an herbal tea to his bed.

"Oh, Spike!" cried Twilight. "We were so worried."

Spike sat up from the bed he was in. His hand still firmly clenching onto The Amulet of Love's True Form.

"Much to tell, you do Spike," stated Zecora. "But first, this drink, I hope you like."

Spike looked to Rarity and smiled. She was wearing the fire ruby he had given her and she was looking towards him with perhaps the greatest amount of concern of the other six ponies present.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," stated Twilight.

"now, now!" stated Rarity. "This is not the time for ask questions! My Spikey-Wikey is hurt and needs his rest!"

Twilight was at a loss for words as Spike took the tea, gently sipped from it, and smiled towards Rarity. All the while thinking how her care for him now was a sure sign that his frightening experience would surely not be for nothing.

To be continued?

Author's Note:

Wanted to create an adventure story for Spike. I also wanted to write it in a way that gave the reader a chance to "feel" how Spike felt as he went about this particular adventure.

This story is written as kind of an homage to how a close friend says my writing reminds him of a show that once aired on SNICK entitled "Are You Afraid of the Dark". Let me know what you think.

Comments

[OmegaMajora99]

You know it's a bad fic when the author uses a shitty snapshot of his tv screen from his phone as a cover illustration.

[Yosh-E-O]

3453135
Actually, I got it from Google's images. Figured it the best way to portray the story.

Thanks for your time.

[Yosh-E-O]

3453153
A sad trend I've noticed here is that the first commenters always seem quick to use profanity / expletives when sharing their feelings about anyone's work. It is quite unfortunate.

I always thought being a Brony, or a part of the Brony Community, was to "Love" and "Tolerate"?

I feel most bad for those who may not have high self-esteem who get comments like I got below. So many folks see the Brony Culture as a way to feel involved in something. Cruel criticism without substance would only give these people a bad taste for the Brony community, which does nobody any favors.

[Yosh-E-O]

3453449
There weren't any diapers in this story. This was a totally diaper-free tale meant to just test another approach to writing.

I'm sorry you did not enjoy my prior works. I'm not as strong with Fan Fiction as I am with writing my own, original work. It is nice to try here-and-there.

The important thing to remember is there is no true set rule to writing and fiction is, well, fiction. We all perceive things differently and try to interpret them as we can through our unique ability in the arts.

Though, as you may agree, utilizing profanity and expletives in a comment is certainly not the way to get one's opinion looked at in any positive light. Nobody here is better than anybody else. It's all personal interpretation.

[OmniFox]

It looks pretty great.

[Ocean Heart]

3453135 You can't just criticize about something and have no real justification. Try helping others improve rather than pointing out flaws.

3453494

Honestly, I like the idea because ive seen a lot of Spike-pony but with no real explanation other than 'just cause'. Take your time and(I could be wrong because im reading this on my phone) space out the paragraphs with a space rather than indenting. Also this might just be me but I think you can improve the flow by spacing where a character speaks and adding the 'he said she said'. Like I said I really like the idea and would love to help any way if you need because I hate seeing good things get crushed by unhelpful comments. /)

PS Sorry bout the wall of text...

[Yosh-E-O]

3454081

Thanks for taking the time to look the story over. As with all my works, I've been trying to build a continuing plot while experimenting with different styles.

Have a great day!

[Yosh-E-O]

3454524
I actually quite appreciate the wall of text. It's definitely better than a quick quip and nothing more. Explanations are most helpful in talent development.

I don't know if I am going to do anymore writing here. I've been cursed at more times than I'd like and, for me, it takes away from what I thought being a Brony and participating in the community was all about. After the early comments I got yesterday, it made me question my own enjoyment of the show.

I'm visually impaired and going to be totally blind in a matter of years. Pony gave me something fun I could enjoy with my son while also allowing me an actual chance to try and write fan fiction of various sorts. Though, it seems there are just too many here who would rather insult than ask while also criticizing without critique.

Your advice is rare and welcomed. As I am an aspiring, children's book author, I want to hone my skills so my stories are as enjoyable as possible. I will certainly take what you said into consideration as I do my personal works.

Thanks much for your time. I hope you have a wonderful day!

[Ocean Heart]

3456632 No problem at all, I love helping other writers that want to takes their talent farther than fanfiction and children's books are a fun and colorful line of work; good luck achieving that goal my friend!

[dlazerous]

This story like you previous ones have potential but you do seem to rush through, well, everything. You need to work on something I like to call, "The scene Change". You really need to let the people know where you are where your coming from and what the place looks like. As a writing teacher of mine used to say, show us where you are don't just tell us. Describe the environment and weather the mood/atmosphere of the place, in short draw us into the story.

As for you previous work, well, it wasn't my taste but it wasn't as horrible as others say. Infantalism isn't my thing and forced/coerced infantalism certainly isn't. When working with some of the more obscure/controversial fetishes out there you have to be careful with your writing or in cases like this, others might assume that Rarity is into molesting babies or something.

All in all, I see a lot of promise and a lot of potential in your writing. Keep at it and don't let others get you down.

[Yosh-E-O]

3656268
I deeply appreciate all the time you took to give me such wonderful feedback. Honestly, this is perhaps some of the best I've gotten in a good while.

As a writer, I'm caught between a "Rock and a Hard Place", so-to-speak. I used to write EXTREMELY descriptive stories. However, nobody would read them and I got criticized for the size of the story being "Intimidating". As a largely unknown author, the last thing I want to do is not get folks to see what I am capable of.

Then I got told I took too much "Imagination" away from the reader through my descriptions. So, to shorten the works and give more "Free Thinking" to the reader, I started to be less descriptive to the point I am where I'm at now.

Balance is going to be the key to my success and, thanks to you pointing it out, I'll work harder at it.

As for the "Diaper Stuff", I was sort of conducting an "Experiment" to see what would happen if I wrote works of that nature. The experiment, sadly, was a success. Those works have 4x to 10x more reads, likes, and comments than my tamer work.

Stories, starting with this one, do not contain really any fetish type stuff. I gave it up in lieu of being the writer I am most comfortable being. My views, comments, etc. suffer as a result. But, better to do what you like and feel good about than to do what makes you uncomfortable and get popular for it.

Yes, I do have a diaper fetish. Though, I'm trying to work through it through writing and other forms of constructive activities. I'm trying to get away from stories that focus on that sort of thing and go with stuff that is just "Cute".

Again, thanks for your time and epic, constructive feedback!

[Hillbe]

nicely done, Your writing's getting better, depth or the players shine. easy reading,

Good on you

[Yosh-E-O]

4989938
Yet again I offer you my appreciation for providing me not only the time to read this story but for also sharing your thoughts on it.

This was a story I genuinely tried to use to build a story arc for all the Sparity works I'd done. Providing a genuine plot with Spike doing what he felt he needed to do in order to win Rarity's love was a true delight to write. I also wanted to give a shot at doing something with a bit more suspense than I had previously done in my pony works.

Thanks again for your time and for your remarks.