• Member Since 18th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen November 17th

JadeCriminal


T

Equestria is a pocket universe created by a filly Celestia when she took survivors of war amongst gods, her unborn sister and ran the heck away aboard a spelljammer style flying sail ship.

Somewhat hastily made Equestria has it quirks and foibles. The most annoying of which is the lack of certain useful elements such as copper or coal deposits.

It's time to withdraw from isolation and establish trade and diplomatic relations with the multi-verse. And Celestia knows just the six mares to do it.

First Stop? The Aber-Toril system.

(My writing pace is glacial but pokes and comments do remind me I should be writing this and thus hasten update speed to slow.)

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 54 )

Spelljammer. Spelljammer. SPELLJAMMER. SPELLJAMMER. SPELLJAMMER! SPELLJAMMER!

(Really, this is your own fault for mentioning the Forgotten Realms, thereby implying the possibility).

SPELLJAMMER!

silverblades-suitcase.com/sj/manowar/manowar_2007_840trans.png
SPELLJAMMER!!!

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Well, kinda. I'm just stealing some parts from it. Pocket universes and well... Solar wind is kinda sorta a FTL capable galleon. XD

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No, what I meant was, there better be a Spelljammer crossover in the works. I wanna see Scro and giant space hamsters and phlogiston.

and I am glad I am tracking this:twilightsmile::eeyup::twilightsmile:

Note to self. when updating chapters remember to publish.

Exactly how much you are taking from D&D? It just occurred to me that while Fluttershy is obviously a Druid, a Wizard couldn't possibly help anyone with Druid magic. So, is Twilight an Archivist* of Celestia or something?

Also I have to note any Druid capable of Call Lightning can also Wild Shape and turn into a tree (Tree Shape is the same spell level as Delay Poison, in fact).

* Wizard-like divine caster, eventually can cast any divine spell they got their hands on, from It's Scary Outside aka Heroes of Horror.

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I am always happy to discuss story fluff/mechanics.

I considered archivist but it only sort of fits...

Right now her character sheet is still empty,

I'm kind of considering breaking the rules with Twi. She's a point caster wizard that has a few wizards spells she can spontaneously cast without study, most unicorns do this with at least one spell. What Is different is that she has access to domain spells from Celestia and understanding of Divine magic but she has to use her own energy to cast them. I was thinking mainly Knowledge and Sun domains for story fluff.

I am also considering giving her a level or two of Divine Emissary.

Also, divine magic in equestria goes hand in hand with modern-ish healing arts. Most doctors are also at least the equivalent L1 cleric, ordained as part of their training and oath to help everypony.

As for Fluttershy? She has taught herself mostly in her quest to become a veterinarian.

As for ponies and magic? In this universe unicorn horns and pegsi wings bones have magic focusing properties but wing casting a unicorn spell is almost impossible. Fluttershy, with the help of Twilight and a nudge or two from Celestia herself is Re-learning a lost art. The reason Unicorn Rangers can't cast a lot of the old spells is because they are adapted for wing casting. (also levels)

Basically unicorns have caster level bonus for arcane while pegasi have the same for divine.

Earth ponies and spells? Not a good match but it is possible as zebra's have discovered. However unlike unicorns and Fluttershy they need spell foci or spell components.

Care to venture a guess for the others classes? (And CMC XD)

Divine Emissary? An Epic PrC? Nononononononono. Read this. Now. Even level 10 might be kind of high.

Meh. With Earth Ponies, personally I considered just giving them trouble over Somatic components. The problem with D&D crossovers is that a lot of non-innate magic is available that can be used regardless of one's circumstances of birth as long as they have appropriately high stats.

You obviously gave Pinkie one of the what, 5 classes that have "Ninja" in their name?
Zecora mentions spirits so I say Spirit Shaman.
If not spellcaster then Ardent with Life, Natural World and Physical Power mantles for Applejack. Unless her hat is secretly Blue.

Nopony else has done anything to warrant a classification at this point, although I always liked the sound of either straight Beguiler or Beguiler 4 / Swordsage 1 / Arcane Trickster for Rarity.

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Wait Divine Emissary is Epic? Aw darn I only remember the description and it fits her to a T. I was gonna have her pick up a level of emissary at level 11... Poo.

As for levels, I subscribe to a theory that ponies are 'better" thus I made them a 2HD race with some small perks (earth ponies are tougher, pegsi can cloudwalk and so on) and also crafted 3 levels of paragon an exceptional pony might take up.

As for balance? Well, the girls have been the equivalent of Level 3 or 4 adventurers at the start of the show. (2 HD+Level or two of paragon.)

Twi is the equivalent of a graduate student in magic and a personal student of the local deity. So let's say 3 levels of wizard but not optimized for combat.

I base this on their encounter with the manticore, six party members and and ECL in question.

Progress during the story was based on this: 1. They defeated nightmare moon, sure artifacts but it still counts. 2. Episodes (at least some) could count as adventuring (dragon anypony? And Fluttershy walked into everfree at night and rescued Twilight and 3 filles) 3. Discord. 4. I'm setting this about a year after that.

Nightmare Moon and Discord being epic level opponents... Orbital friendship cannon or not... You will get experience.

Essentially I am pegging them some place around level 10-15. (Which with the HD makes them mid high). They basically are walking legends that saved the world. Twice. Which is causing issues they are not prepared for. Like Flutterworship. XD


As for classes, yeah I just wanted you to guess. The story has very little clues for now.

Pinkie is not a ninja of any sort. She has a hat of disguise she got Twlight to make for her, skill points to burn a playful personality and a secret. Non-ninja secret. Perhaps i have been too subtle in her antics the reference to the magic item is buried in a single sentence in chapter two I think. EDIT: Oh and I realized I haven't posted the chapter with pinkie's class clue yet because those parts are still being worked on.

No, actually you did make a reference to her having a Hat of Disguise already. But you also called her a ninja and had her climb using standard ninja equipment and there wasn't really anything else to work with.

It's late where I'm posting from, I'll be discussing races and other stuff tomorrow.

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No worries, have nice night.

As for pinkie I had her go through several 'disguises' during her conversation with Twilight. First was the ninja, then an army sergeant and then an oriental chi expert in the art of Maximum Fun Shui. Then later she matched outfits with Cherilee and slipped into a sparkly dancing leotard when she danced with Fluttershy.

Hm... Maybe I should look over that section again an see if I can improve it.

She is always pulling random stuff out of her... arsenal in the show so why the heck not. I asked myself, if Pinkie had access to magical items what would she want. XD

Basically she likes to pretend to be other characters. I think the Pink Ninja thing will become a recurring gag. It's fun to write.

So a very well written story so far. Can't wait to see where it ends up though I do wonder where Celestia came from when she made Equestria. Also the link that brought me here mentioned that you were wondering how ponys could hold things not in their mouths. Try this explanation I got from some one explaining how the cars from Cars do it on Anime Addventure.
(All Intelligent Vehicles have so-called 'invisible appendages' that are very similar to each other, with only minor differences. The majority of non-sapient species which are closest to our species usually have four 'invisible limbs'which end in either 'hooves' or 'paws', an 'invisible clamp' (which is sometimes called a 'invisible mouth') and a 'invisible tail'. Car-kind seems to lack the 'tail', though we more then make up for it with our 'hands'...)

Setsuna chewed her lip, wondering if she should mention the animals which did seem to have 'invisible hands', though those usually did seem to have 'invisible tails' too. She would, if only for a paragraph, she decided - she didn't want the Professor to think she'd forgotten all about such a basic thing, after all.
Can be found at http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/175033.html

Just please, don't make Pinkie a bucking Bard.
For Twilight the Cleric, you'd do well with Magic and Spell domains. Magic, in addition to just plain being appropriate, grants ability to use spell trigger and spell completion items as a Wizard, and Spell has the Anyspell spell which does what it sounds.

My personal headcannon is touch-range psychokinesis for everypony.

Personally, I do more advanced races by designing a custom class for them and then saying the average mamber has X levels in it. Most balanced results in the long run.

Anyway, that' my take:
An average pony has 2 levels of their racial class.

Unicorn pony racial class:

Horn casting: Instead of using Somatic components and inexpensive material components and foci, a Unicorn may create a glow around their own horn and the target (if any). The particulars vary based on the spell used, allowing identification via Spellcraft check as normal for Somatic component, but also have elements (mainly color) allowning identification of the caster in case they aren't obvious.

Unicorns with levels in a spellcasting class may add their Unicorn racial class level to that class for purposes of caster level, spells known and spells per day. Otherwise, they cast as a Sorcerer of their level.

Earth pony racial class (based on Fiendish/Elemental Brute classes):

Natural Armor: An Earth Pony has a Natural Armor equal to their class level.

Attribute Boost: At every odd-numbered class level an Earth Pony gains +1 to two attributes of choice, identically to the normal +1 to one attribute of choice per 4 character levels.

Bonus Feat: At every even-numbered class level an Earth Pony gains a bonus feat.

Pegasus Pony:

Cloudwalking: A pegasus pony can treat any cloud (including mist/fog/clouds created by spells) as a solid object with 10 hp per 5' cube and hardness 1.

Flight: At second level, a Pegasus can fly with speed of 60' (average).

Wing Casting [Racial]
Prereqisites: Pegasus Pony, ability to cast 1st level Divine Spells, character level 5.
Benefit: You are considered to be 1 level higher for purposes of caster level, spells known and spells per day for one divine caster class you have (chosen upon taking this feat).
Special: This feat can be taken twice, the second time the level requirement increases to 10.

We shouldn't get so far as numbers, as they are of no consequence here.

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For simplicity sake I'm going with the ability to 'stick' to objects with their hooves. (It's magic) They still use their mouth for fine manipulation. Some ponies learn to extend this magic field to the use of their tails.

Where Celestia came from is classified but she has family and 'cousins' all over the multiverse.

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Pinkie as a bard? Aw hey no. She's not remotely that predictable. Sure she took ranks in perform but then again the others have a point or two there too.

As for everything else I appreciate your insight. The solution for earth ponies is far better then a flat racial bonus, and others will fit quite well into the stuff I already have. Flat out Racial classes in stead of HD... I will use a good chunk of your ideas.

I'm still considering the question of how Celestia will prepare them to the world outside equestria.

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For simplicity sake I'm going with the ability to 'stick' to objects with their hooves. (It's magic) They still use their mouth for fine manipulation. Some ponies learn to extend this magic field to the use of their tails.

Where Celestia came from is classified but she has family and 'cousins' all over the multiverse.

330303

Pinkie as a bard? Aw hey no. She's not remotely that predictable. Sure she took ranks in perform but then again the others have a point or two there too.

As for everything else I appreciate your insight. The solution for earth ponies is far better then a flat racial bonus, and others will fit quite well into the stuff I already have. Flat out Racial classes in stead of HD... I will use a good chunk of your ideas.

I'm still considering the question of how Celestia will prepare them to the world outside equestria.

Something unpredictable? Erudite then? I don't think there's a class with a more fluid powerset.

You also used Pray instead of Prey... Sorry...

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Oh hey, thanks for pointing that out. Why sorry? Things like this are helpful!

(I would have responded sooner but I haven't logged on to Fimfiction in ages. Hopefully I can continue writing soon.)

>>JadeCriminal

Sorry on accounts of I feel guilty correcting folks I don't know...

Calling Celestia "Miss Sunny Side Up" has joined my top 4 funniest pony exclamations, alongside "SWEET BABY LUNA!", "Celestia's great flaming ball of sleep-deprivation" and "wings hard as Discord".

Wait so are the mane 6 becoming gods through an unrelated series of events?
cool.:ajsmug:

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Not quite, at least not in anything I plan to write this year.

Ancient Greece Legends type Heroes merged with some Asian type mythology? Sure. It has to do with the Equestrian genesis lore I am going to work into my stories when things move on. Heck by season 3 they are World Class heroes that saved the world more then once and can fight against even when greatly outnumbered and such.

But to be honest, at the moment I am working on some Lilo & Stitch fanfiction and when tht is done I am going to put some more effort into Cutie Mark Crusaders: Fearun before i expand it with a series of shorts that explore what happens when the CMC get their hands on a Sliders type device.


"So how did you get out of it this time O'neil?" The aging SGC General asked while rubbing a pre-emptive stress headache.

"Well, you see General. Um... It's complicated." O'neil stalled. As much as he like winding his superiors up he was still having trouble with actually saying this one out loud.

"Tealc?"

"Three magical pony fillies exited an unpowered stargate and proceeded to accidentally blew up the ha'tak. We then exited through the same means before decompression set in. The fillies rendered multiverse venturing assistance."

The General sighed.

"Carter?"

"..." The scientist said. She was staring at something in her hands she was repetitively turning on and off some sort of high tech flashlight shaped like a rock.

She smiled at the general goofily.

"The bosons spin sideways."

"Jackson?"

"Our universe is now 20% cooler." Ha said waving an autographed T-Shirt of a little girl's show

The general reached for his Antacid stash. It was going to be one of those days.

Great story so far. It's almost criminal how little attention this piece has gotten.

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No kidding. :P

But I could be updating more and get a bigger audience that way.:rainbowlaugh:

Also you just reminded me to actually publish my chapter. :twilightblush:

FUCKING. FINALLY. I MEAN GOOD LORD THREE FOUR MONTHS?! That said I look forward to the next update.

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And it would have been longer if somepony hadn't reminded me that I was writing this story. :facehoof:

This is the story that got me into pony fiction so I'm happy to see an update. So is Pinky a hive mind in this or does she have some kind of temporal shifting going on? Anyways great story. I loved Celestia winding Twilight up.:rainbowlaugh:

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Well at least my blatant throwing of hints hadn't gone un-noticed.:pinkiehappy:

This story got you into pony fiction? Rally? How the hey did that happen?:rainbowhuh:

Don't remember I mean I had seen some other stuff specifically Andrew Josh Talons Stuff but I hadn't gotten around to reading it. I think I found a link on Hawks Fanfiction Forum.

Actually the thought of Pinky being a hivemind composed of lots of clones makes sense and is kinda scary... well also awesome.

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O~oooh! That one needs to be written :rainbowlaugh:

But How'd i fit the concept into a coherent form...

Pinkie Pie is true form and the other units of the hive mind are hiding... Somewhow... In the populace... Why? How? Hm...

Some kind of meld into nature ability? Explains how she shows up out of nowhere when the clone is for all intents and purpose a rock until she animates it.

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That would be worth exploring. I'm gonna think on it some more and then plop the idea into the MLP brainstorming thread over at spacebattles.

*taps the glass* Hello? Are you still there?

Yes. It has not been abandoned... I am working on an offshot of this from the CMC point of view by playing it out as a d&d game.

Sweetie's player is apparently a Spacebattler. (Sweetie: Wizard, apprenticed to Twilight) :facehoof:
Scotaloo is rogue, trained by Pinkie Pie :pinkiehappy: I am not a rogue tho
Applebloom is a Witch. Trained by Zecora. :applejackconfused:


As for this story, I'm not sure when Ponyville tea party II will go up. I'm participating in a discussion on worldbuilding that is giving me ideas so things may move. It's been sitting at 500 words for a while now. XD:scootangel:

I_S

This is a great story. Also 9 chapters and they are just now forming a party?

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Yeah I take world-building too far. XD

Mind you I used all of it and more for my D&D game (Which I will be transcribing here as a companion piece foor this story.) . The CMC just found each other and for some odd reason the goblin camp nearby is in flames. Which reminds me I better get to typing... Right after I play borderlands some more... XD

"The older one one only had the one had a slightly erratic pulse"

This sentence stabbed my grammar sense and stole its wallet.



Fluttergoddess of the forest is best non-alicorn alicorn.
:yay: yay

Great chapter

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Thanks. I went in edited the grammatical thug.:twilightsheepish: I'm stuck on the latest chapter at about 500 words. And whenevr I come back to this I just... can't add more.

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Can't add more as in a writer's block, or something else?

You can always take a few steps back, a hiatus, reread what you had written up until now, or write in a Pinkie interrupt out of nowhere. :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie Pie: class - ninja/thief/bard/[redacted]
Applejack - Fighter/Floramancer (specialty: Lassos, Apples, lassoing apples)
Fluttershy - Ranger/Healer/Druid/nascent forest goddess
Rainbow Dash - Air Calvary/speed demon/aero acrobat/Priestess and only member of Church of the Divine Rainboom
Rarity - Tailor/Archer/marshmallow
Twilight - Archmage/nascent goddess of magic/Teacher's pet/Teacher's 'pet'

Man, it's a crime that this story hasn't gotten more likes than it has.

On the other hand, perhaps the six month hiatus has something to do with it.

And the four month pause for this chapter may have been a contributing factor.

Which is a shame, as this is an interesting and very well written story.

I truly hope to see more in the future.

FINALLY! *starts reading*

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Daaang that was fast I just clicked publish. You might want to refresh for a few spelling errors I corrected. XD

I was refreshing the page for updates and apparently had done so right after you published the story. I'm serious, The page in question I refreshed was using the update date filter and it was at the top of the list.

Large amounts of spelling, diction and grammar errors, seriously needs proof-reading. Very fun idea, though.

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Thanks for the support.

Grammar wise: Let me tell you, realizing you have written half the chapter in the wrong tense gets annoying. :twilightoops:

(I am certain I'm shifting tenses in this chapter somewhere but dang if I could find it.)

Mind I never officially studied English grammar, thus I'm mostly winging it by wondering how I would say it if I was narrating the story. :twilightblush

I'm very glad you're updating again.

I_S

This, Updated..... :raritystarry:

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