• Published 29th Feb 2012
  • 2,330 Views, 54 Comments

Sailing the solar wind. - JadeCriminal

Equestria: Pocket universe. Somewhat hastily made on the fly. The Mane 6: Interstellar Diplomats

  • ...

A Rare Event V

Pinkie Pie collapsed in laughter, face buried in one hand and slamming the coffee shop style table with her other hoof. Fluttershy glared at her, pouting and the expression sent her pink friend into a new wave of laughter each time she looked up.

After a minute or so Pinkie managed to settle down somewhat, still a little wide eyed.

"Are you finished?" The pegasus asked, her crossed arms and her small pout hit pinkie like a yellow weapon of daaw destruction, softening the party mare's expression.

"I'm sorry Flutters, you know I don't mean anything bad, it's just, well that they really think you are some sort of Living Pony Legend, I could get that. You are The Element of Kindness, an how many ponies can say they faced down a dragon. So in a way you kinda are a pony legend. But on the other hand I think you are being pranked. No silly filly would really think you are a horny, winged princess. Heh, Horny."

Pinkie frowned for a moment and then scooted closer to the Pegasus gave her a little sniff and stared at her forehead nudging it a little with her hoof.

"Nope, not horny." She nodded to herself seriously then giggled.

"Well, I'm not really sure they really all think I'm a princess but some said it and its kind if embarrassing anyway. The ponies are even leaving offerings at the shrine. They started with bits, candy, incense, even a love letter or two," The yellow Pegasus blushed, the second letter got a little heated, she sighed,stress wrinkles forming around her eyes and Pinkie had to lean closer to be able to hear what she was saying.

"I could pretend those were not for me but you know how I am always short on bandages and one time some pony left a healing kit at the shrine and a pony got hurt nearby so I rushed and used the healing kit for bandages and cleaning the wound. Now I am finding bandages, healing herbs and all sorts of potions. I can't just let those sit there and go bad you know. It would be irresponsible... And rude."

For the first time in this conversation Pinkie looked at Fluttershy felt genuine worry. Fluttershy was really stressed about this. She peered carefully at the shy Pegasus and tried to read her eyes before Fluttershy looked down and hid them behind her hair again. Was she scared? No. It was something else? Shame? Why was Fluttershy feeling ashamed?

"How long has this been going on?" The earth pony probed carefully.

"About six months. And it's not the worst part." Fluttershy voice cracked as she looked up at her friend. Pinkie leaned closer, sitting on the edge of her seat. With her eyes connected to Fluttershy's and ears perked while sitting up at attention the pink pony was the very picture of attentive listener.

"The Rangers, they are kind to me. They don't crowd, they don't ask for silly things, they are eager to learn my advice about the forest, they are polite, And I... I, " Fluttershy buried her face in her hoof and Pinkie Pie had to lean closer and closer so she could hear Fluttershy's increasingly softer confession. "I like it."

With a squeak Pinkie Pie felt her concentration shatter and she fell over, knocking over the table and the two empty plates and landed right onto Fluttershy.

"Pinkie!" Fluttershy exclaimed as they fell of the hay bales in a tangle of limbs. They struggled for a few moments and then Fluttershy started laughing thanks to skillful prodding at all her ticklish spots.

"Eek! Pinke! Hahaha! Stoop!" the yellow Pegasus begged and Pinkie relented after the appropriate tickle time has elapsed. It was time for Pinkie Magic.

"Sorry Flutters but you are not a tragic heroine and this is not an angst paperback so I had to make you laugh. My advice is to see this like a somewhat unusual fan-club that respects your healing abilities, your extensive knowledge of nature, shares the burden of gathering healing supplies to aid in your efforts and they also like your kindness. So what if they built you a shrine and you like the attention. Shame on you, shame shame for behaving like a mortal pony." Pinkie mock chastised before grinning and sticking her tongue out.

"Pinkie Pie! It's not that simple." Fluttershy protested faintly.

"Simple Schmimple. You are allowed to like ponies that are nice to you. Heck, in your place Rainbow Dash would try to establish the church of the divine Rainboom." the fun master waggled her eyebrows and nudged Fluttershy lightly who smiled and looked thoughtfully.

"Can't talk right now, taking my Divine Nap." Fluttershy imitated softly and then hid a half snort, half giggle behind her hoof looking astonished at herself.

"That's the spirit. What's there to be all frown-y about? You help ponies and critters, and they help you help more critters, and ponies. Those then help you help ponies and critters help critters and ponies. How tragic, if you are not careful you will reach a critical help mass and have a helpsplosion that will help everything within a sixtykilopony radius and kick of a helpocalypse which will blanket the whole world with critical amounts of background helpfullness from which the world may never recover!" Pinkie pie paused in her declamation and scratched her chin as Fluttershy gaped at her.

"Actully I think that might have allready happened. Hm, hey Flutters? Think Twilight can build us a helpfulness counter to measure background helpfulness level? With some study we could calculate when the last helpocalypse happened." Pinkie wondered, nodding at her wisdom. The serious expression on her face sent Fluttershy into a wave of quiet giggles during which the Pegasus grabbed the pink pony into a big fluffy hug.

"What?" the party prankster wondered as her tirade was interrupted by a fluffy warmth seeping into her heart.

"You're the best Pinkie Pie." Fluttershy told her in a solemn tone but with a small smile on her face. "thank you for the talk, I still have some things to work out but I know I can always count on you."

"Always a pleasure, and with that said," Pinkie pointed up at the crossbeams of the barn roof. "Dash the Lipper seems to be taking a nap after her wild dancing spree."

Fluttershy looked up and then tilted her head at Pinkie like a confused bird.

Pinkie pulled out a pair of pink, water soluble sharpies out of nowhere and Fluttershy smiled. She was not one to like pranking much but Dashie was asking for it.

As the yellow pegasus flapped her wings and rose into the air, hiding the pranking tool behind her back Pinkie looked at her with a far away look in her eye. As Fluttershy uncapped the sharpie Pinkie smiled and shook her head.

"Silly Fluttershy, no way anypony could help enough ponies to reach a helpsplosion. But if some pony could it would be you." She whispered fondly.

With that the pink ninja was once more climbing onto the barn support beam with the help of a garishly pink three clawed hook and some rope.


As the Prankster pony was teaching a young genponin pegasus the art of pranksassination Applejack had been doing her duty and deposited the latest batch of Apple Pies on the table.

These Apple Pies were not to be confused with apple pies of course. As Granny always said: 'Apple Pie is to apple pie as a kiss is to a hoofshake. One is a loving culmination of personal feeling and the other just a formality. Also unlike a hoofshake it takes quite a while to quit fumbling and really get good at it.'

The amount of Pies that have been disappearing from the snacks table sure testified to Ponyville's love of Apple Pie and she was sure glad about those stasis schmaisis things Twi whipped up to keep the huge number of Pies at Perfect temperature. She sure would have hated to miss the party because she was stuck in the kitchen baking Pies.

Nodding to herself, satisfied about a job well done Applejack was about to return to her friends when she spotted a surge of chaos in the corner of her eye, turning she saw Bloom, Sweetie and Scoots trampling at full speed from the dance floor towards the main snacks table she had just carefully refiled. They were clearly intending to assault the snacks table with Crusader intent.

"Whoa there Nellies." she called out and stomped her hoof at the ground in front of them. The ground shook, sending the fillies sprawling and they skidded to a stop just in front of the table.

"Now ah reckon ah like Pie as much as anypony but reckon you fillies need to slow down a bit." She cautioned them sternly.

"But... Pies." Muttered Applebllom and three tearful pairs of eyes stabbed into her heart half a heartbeat later.

"Aw, you are getting good at that, the eyes need a little bit more twinkle tho. Now, I said nothin' about the pies being forbidden. "Applejack chuckled good naturedly. "Just move slowly enough not to knock anything over and don't eat so much you'd get a tummy ache."

Applejcaks eyes suddenly narrowed, she stepped closer and smiled dangerously at the fillies.

"Cause if ya'll ruin a single dish by knocking it over carelessly? You're on dish washing duty in the morning."

The fillies paled, looking around the room there where thousands, no millions and millions of plates that were being used. They froze completely for a moment, looked at each other and then back at Applejack.

"Gosh sis, we would never do anything to hurt those nice pies and cakes." Apple Bloom intoned solemnly slowly walking to the table and slowly grasping a Pie in her mouth. “Fiwwy Scoots onr” She mumbled while raising a solemn hoof in the air.

"We will be extra cautious and practice absolute perdition when utilizing any kinds of mastication upon these paragons of culinary delight." Sweetie Belle verbally assaulted the suddenly glassy eyed farm pony. The white pegasus filly glared at one of the pies for a long moment her horn sparking. Finally she sighed and just bit down and carried her pie like Bloom did.

"Yeah, no way I'm cleaning those dishes." Scoots added her own two bits while lifting her self on her hind hooves and swiping three pies in her hooves. Applejack watched her as she balanced the pies expertly along the fillies that were carefully and slowly making their way to their small corner. As they sat down the pies on their table Scotaloo nudged Sweetie "Hey dictionary! Are you sure perdition means what you think it means."

As the fillies bickered Applejack took three pies from the heap, put them on a tray and made her way to Rarity and Twilight.


"I tell you Darling I never felt so empty in my life! It was like I was sucked dry by all those ponies and fillies in the fashion industry, and not in a good way. Oh I had a good time, So many dresses, so many models and luncheons and reviews but I am ashamed to say I overstretched myself and let some of my lesser instincts loose. Making my mark on society is one thing but I want you to promise me that if I ever get so distracted by the high strata of social climbing that I forget..." Rarity sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hoof. "If I stop being me again and start signing any letters to anypony as Lady Rarity I want you to teleport me straight into a large vat of mud. The way Sweetie Belle asked me if I still wanted her as my sister earlier. I was never so ashamed in my life!"

The white unicorn just stared at her with an intense look in her. A single strand of hair was sticking out of the usually impeccable unicorn's mane for ten minutes now and she didn't even notice. Twilight realized that Rarity was truly upset about her sister. She reached out and smoothed out the imperfection with her hoof.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Rarity, I myself have a small penchant for overdoing things. I myself have once signed a letter to Celestia with: And thus I recommend that my findings be implemented into the Academy curriculum as outlined in proposal 23b. Field Researcher, First class, Twilight Sparkle." Twiligt confessed and felt her ears burn in remembered embarrassment at that incident so she urgently downed the glass of something strong and salty that Dash had talked her into getting, against her better judgment.

As the drink burned it's way pleasantly down her chest and into her belly Twilight's thoughts drifted off as she remembered how she had been so tired that day that half way through the letters she had mixed up the letter to Celestia with her Academic paper on the new effects of Lunar phases on the flux of magical fields. Worse still her academic paper contained a an anecdote about using her research to experimentally augment a lullaby spell for use on an angry Ursa Minor and several choice words about silly foals courting danger and braggart journeyman spellcasters. She had also signed the letter Your faithful student Twilight sparkle.

The members of the Education board were so earnestly touched by her somewhat informal and yet friendly manner of writing she didn't have the heart to disabuse them from that that notion or correct the paper that was archived in the University library.

"Oh Celestia, somepony could be reading it right now." With a groan she thumped her head on the table.

"There there darling, It's not that bad.”

Feeling |Rarity pat her on the back gently, Twilight snapped back into the hear and now an her blush intensified.

"Sorry, I kind of drifted off there." She apologized and then smiled at approaching Applecjack and the appetizing appearance of apple pies the farmer mare was bringing.

The farm pony was beaming as she deposed the Pies in front of her friends.

"Hey there Rarity, Twi I brought the snack. Sorry it took so long, I had to double check the heat in the warmers and then I had to stop the Crusaders from launching the snacks table to the moon."

"That's quite alright darling Twilight told me a delightful story about her recent academic mishaps." Rarity explained. "A veritable coup in public relations, even if it was accidental.

Twilight snapped her eyes towards Rarity.

"Oh no, don't tell me I said all that out loud?" Twilight groaned.

"Oh that sounds mighty interesting, care to share Twi? I didn't know you all had any academic mishaps. Tell us more" Appejack drawled eagerly and wondered at the darker and darker hue on the purple mare's face.

So that's how she looks when she's blushing? Who would have thunk it?

Author's note:

Those of you that missed it go back and read the prologue I added at the opening of chapter one. :)

Should I post once or twice a month with bigger chapters or is this pace good?

Anypony think I need a beta?

OMAKE (Because things get cut in production)

Just remember, If somepony gets creepy? Give us a nudge, send us a mockingbird telegram or even some smoke signals and we'll lay down a divine smack down on anything bothering you, Pinkie Pie Style." Pinkie Pie nudged the flustered pegasus a few time and then finally Fluttershy smiled.

"Yeah, nothing can stand against Team Pinkie and the Elements of Harmony. If it tries it gets a face full of out Friendship Party Canon!" Pinkie exclaimed posing heroically, rearing on her rear hooves.

"Friendship Party Cannon?" Fluttershy asked, hiding a giggle behind a hoof.

"Well you know, we're all floaty and then Twilight goes all shiny eyes magical and whoosh, BOOM, Friendship Party Cannon. Because afterward, we party!" The party Pony exclaimed and hopped up and down a little.

Fluttershy got up as Pinkie started bouncing around. She walked over to her cheerful friend and gave her a hug.