( Chapter proofreading by: Pinkiepierocks and MD stephen51991 )
Yen Sid, receives a message from an old friend of his asking for the assistance of a Keyblade Bearer. Dark and mysterious happenings have suddenly started appearing in Equestria. Sora is sent on a mission to take care of the situation starting by looking for the world's key hole and locking it. As a request on Yen Sid's part, Sora will also remain there for a year to train and unlock abilities he never knew he had to prepare him for 2nd attempt at the Mark of Mastery and become a Keyblade Master. However, he will need the help of his new friends to activate it until he can learn to do it on his own. Of course this doesn't mean he'll be the only one getting something out of this exchange. His friends will be gaining some new powers along with him. The question is, will they be able to take on the Darkness that is slowly making it's presence known to Equestria. One thing is certain: Things are gonna get crazy with Sora and the Elements of Harmony.
I do now own Kingdom Hearts or My Little Pony nor do I own any pictures that you see in the story.
I do not own the background music, and it is optional for the reader to play them at certain parts of the story, you are free to not click on them if you feel like it. they are there basically help with the atmosphere of parts of the story.
equestria is not the name of the planet its just one kingdom just like the griffon kingdom and the minotaour kingdom and so on
I am liking it already just hope you don't add to many KH character in here but other than that nice first chapter keep up the good work.
It's an interesting story. Hope to see more of this.
Well it's a good start, although one problem I did notice is that you should only have one person talking in a paragraph in a few (especially at the start) you have multiple people talking in the same one and in one of those it gets a little confusing on who is talking to who.
I'm not sure I like the idea of him being a pony though, I would have thought it would be more interesting if he was human to be honest so I'm not sure I like this idea, since you said he was going to change back at times I really don't see the point in making him a pony if this is the case. Plus given that he has magic wouldn't a unicorn have been a better body for him? I'm also pretty sure he's actually younger than the Mane 6 by a few years not older or the same age. He's 15 in Kingdom Hearts 2 and I'm pretty sure they are older given that they all have their own jobs, homes and stuff, at the very least like 19 to early 20s. At least they seem like that given how their lives are in the show.
the musical cues are a nice touch to those that want it. You did seem to keep everyone in character which is also nice to see. One question is why just drop him randomly into the Everfree? Sure he normally could handle things if he was human, but why not just outside of it? Plus how come if Celestia knew about this she didn't seem to send work to Twilight and her friends? Something simple like "hey a visitor is coming and I need you to greet him at this point in time" basically? It's kind of odd that she wasn't there to greet someone that knows nothing of her world or at the very least had someone she trusted like Twilight there to help him settle in.
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6527361 To Speedking535:
Don't worry, at most the KH Characters you've seen in this prologue are bascially the only ones your gonna see in the future. At best if another KH Character did come in, it probably be Riku for like a short moment... Maybe. But I doubt that much anyone else will pop in, so your good, buddy :3
6527251 To darkssa:
thank you for pointing that out, I would like to know the world's actual name. I'm not entirely sure, if this is the name or if it's even spelled right (probably not) but was the world called Equess? I would like to learn as much as I can for the future.
6528184 Ok that cool hope you make spike important too and what place does this take in the mlp timeline
6528332
It's not exactly pin point, but I wanted to it to be placed some time after the Whole Shining Armor and Cadence get married. but not to far ahead to signal any other important event in MLP in the future. I know I'll run into them eventually so I'm kind of preparing myself for that inevitability after I get some facts straight.
And as for Spike being important: Yeeeeah, you could say that :) although it might take a bit to get to that part so I hope it's worth the wait. though you might be able to pick up some small signs of that in the coming chapters.
6528503 Alright cool and one last thing is Nyx from past sins going to be in here
6528889
I'm afraid not. Only do to the fact that I didn't know such a character existed until now.
6529015 ok
Seems interesting. Looking forward to next update
not trying to be rude but if you are gonna use music, could you at least use the re-orchestrated versions being the ones in KH 1.5 and 2.5 as theysound a thousand times better oh and maybe make the trak in the falling part a dive track from KH3D okay??
6532201
Yeah in the upcoming chapters I try with the best of my abilities to follow that so don't worry. As for the music playing for when Sora was falling I kind of chose that based on how well it fitted with the scene in my head.
im liking this so far, and i look forward to more.
This story is very interesting so far. I like Sora and Shy's interaction at the moment. Hope to see more of this story.
wow this fanfiction is good and i'm enjoying it so far
Most storys I read make Sora into a Pegasus. But this works to.
OK, you made me curious as to what will happen in the next chapter. Still, I got to say that the fight scene between Sora and the girls vs the Heartless was very well written. And reminds me of Steel Soul and Mekapix's depiction of Sora's fighting style. Thanks for the chapter.
6534611
Thank you, I feel in terms of writing, fighting scenes are more my area and I find that both their depictions were a great way to show Sora's Combat. As for that next chapter, all I can say is cherish it, cuz it will never happen again haha
when the chapter will be posted i cant wait to see it
Just wanted to let you know that Sora is a full-fledged hero. When the gods in Olympus Coliseum put a person's (or people) picture in the sky, they are considered a true hero. The gods did that for Sora in Kingdom Hearts 2. Also love your story. My favorite Kingdom Hearts story yet.
The song was an awesome scene and I liked Shy's shock when Sora told her that he didn't know what a cutie mark was
6540692
Thank, for pointing out that magnificent brain fart of mine that I did not notice until after you brought it up *slams head on wall*
Ow! My memory came back to me the moment you said that and after the short moment "OMG!" here and there I ended up laughing about it.
Just a friendly heads up, 'bout half the chapter's in italics. Overall, another good chapter.
6546513
Thank you muchly
ALERT! ALERT! ITALICS OVERFLOW! COMMENTS CONTAMINATED! ALERT! ALERT!
6546573
Crisis Averted
6546572 No problem.
Twilight that is races, all races of ponys have difrent forms of magic.
The chapter was great, especially with the explanation about potions and Sora's clothes. Can't wait to see the girls' faces when they see Sora doing magic.
6547738
IKR
I've read this chapter when it came out, and I have to admit it was pretty good. I liked the part where Rainbow said that Spike's cooking tastes better than Twilight's. Gives a good laugh
good chapter just a few things to point out they're called large bodies not big bodies and what heartless was the boss was it something you made up
6554813
A valid point. To be honest, the term big body stuck to me do to back when I first started playing the series. I always ened up calling them that. I'll edit that as soon as I can.
And the Boss Heartless I did make up. I wanted a heartless that would could only be taken down through teamwork. So I made that guy.
6554826 no prob and that's actually a really cool idea and i look forward to when sora meets the princesses and i'm a kinda surprised you didn't make sora a pegasus
Man, that boss for was awesome and the ending was hilarious.
6554846
hehe, yeeah, there's a reason for that that we'll reach in the future, but to answer in an author's perspective: It's actually the best place to start, given what this story will have in the future."
6554860 you putting it like that makes it sound like he'll become an alicorn at some point in the future
harmoic connections i'm guessing the next chapter will be about the conection of kingdom hearts and elements of harmony connection
6554871
Heh, that's an interesting thought. Though I can't confirm or deny it. I find it more fun to keep readers guessing.
6554890
Certainly seems that way, I suppose. hehe
6554913 sounds more like sora will form a connection with the elements of harmony
Impressive. This was a really good chapter. Having played Kingdom Hearts & Kingdom Hearts 2, and having watched others play the sequels on Youtube, I can honestly say that reading this chapter felt like I was watching Sora fight a boss battle in the actual games. Heh, if Squaresoft ever adds Equestria to the list of worlds for Sora to visit (which most likely won't happen unless Disney buys MLP:FIM), then they should add this fight to the game.
6555075
Why thank you, Really wanted to keep Sora's battle as true to as how it is in his games. Thus the reason on why he uses his items like that. A small touch, but I thought it was necessary.
I think the first holiday Sora should experience would be Nightmare Night since it is almost Halloween. Also so he could get to possibly know Luna.
oh i cant wait for the next chapter and sora should expereince hearth warming day and your story, and kingdom harmony steel soul has the best the original kingdom hearts mlp original story and goldenflare by far has the best mlp x kingdom hearts tv stories right now
Excellent first boss battle. The boss itself was rather creative and well planned as well.
If the rest of them are this good I can see this story hitting the multi hundreds in likes.