• Member Since 27th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 14th, 2020

Imperial Brony


T

The young man known only as the prototype, had his life ended two and a half years ago, or to be presise thirty moons. Now he is a wanted criminal throughout the world and has found his only escape through a mirror scientists around the globe believe houses another dimension, parallel to ours. Prototype thinks he is safe and wherever it leads it will be fine...

...only his trobles are just getting worse.

(Looking For Better Cover Taking Art That is Sent To imperialbrony@gmail.com)

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 35 )

just reading the description is painful, i thought they didn't allow stories without punctuation?

So far looks good I never played prototype but still seemed to be a good beginning all you need is some one who will read over it before you publish it.

Have a mustache:moustache:

I would gladly pre/proofread.

Not played prototype so this should be interesting.

I'm sorry, but this needs a lot more coherence. It's really hard to tell what's going on - not just because of the spelling/grammar, but because the story structure is rather schizoid. Things happen way too fast and aren't explained or given detail.

I wouldn't mind prereading. This seems interesting.:pinkiehappy:

I am disappoint. I was hoping the entire 1,293 words would be one giant sentence like the summary was.

Wow, that summary took a few read through's to get the general gist of it.

Thank you all for the support and yes im a crappy writer but I would love you guys to preread and send me yore thoughts thank you!:yay: also I never thought this would get so populare thanks!

3306651ok well email me with the email in the description and I will give you the pre read code

3307397 Come on, lay off the author. I don't see you writing much.

3310872 I'm being serious here. I had entirely too much fun reading that thing. Usually punctuation mistakes are bad but every once in a while the stars align and it turns something into absolute gold.

3310899 I guess I see where you're coming from.

very good story so far. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

i can't wait to read the next chapter. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Sorry the 2nd chapter is taking so long should be out by tonight.

another good chapter. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

can't wait to read the next chapter. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Where the fuck am I ?!"

I's probably be thinking the same thing.

Nice chapter. (Not much more for me to say.)

Oh sweet Celestia, the grammar!:pinkiesick:

I'm sorry, but whyyyyyyy?! Why would you write this?:raritydespair:

Once again I am sorry about the grammar I don't know how many times I need to say this but positions are open for checking and if you are interested please contact me at imperialbrony@gmail.com

Like where this is going. Hope to see more soon!

good story so far. i like the gore but you can get uot of hand at times. lessen it but keep it. keep up the good work!

good chapter. love the gore, just lessen it a little bit. i dont care if you do lessen it or not really just a bit grosese for my likings. keep up the good work! and yes i still like it with the gore.

I already don't want to read this story, after reading the description. I've spotted five mistakes in the description alone. I can already tell I won't like this story... at all.

As a prototype fan I'll say it's middle. It's good but your going to fast so far he's already gained two powers after just waking up. You need to give him sometime to discover. Of course you could've pulled this off with a different wake up scene like waking up with the knife hand after a nightmare and the guards at least getting to hit him a few times before the the imminent slice and run. And his meaning for revenge is a little off. When someone dies you don't go after the people who may have tried to save them but failed plus he hadn't had anytime to call himself a freak to hate them for doing this to him.

Great can't wait till the next chapter oh and if you or someone else could try working with you to make a picture of prototype then that would be awesome. Keep it up :pinkiehappy:

OK PEOPLE!!! before you start complaining on how short this is (yes im looking at you William and KnightmareKnight :trixieshiftright:) like it says in the notes, I only stopped here for suspence and the fact the rest of the chapter can stand on its own so expect more later hopefully tonight

3767330 ehehe yeaa..... bout dat...

3584728 Before you even start the next chapter, fix the description.

3379681 We are the Grammar Nazis! And we shall be disliked together!

I love this story so far, though I think thier should be a few changes regarding Sampson/Prototype. I feel that his character has changed, too drastically. At the beginning of the story, he had a cheerful personality, it seemed as if he wouldn't hurt a fly, but after his transformation he went on a journey to kill everyone involved with the experiment. He killed someone's family because someone shot himself. I feel that his characters personality has changed way too much, and he can't justify himself by saying that the company failed to help his sister lived even though they tried.

But other than that, I can't wait to see the next chapter......though there probably won't be one:derpytongue2:

This seems to suffer quite a bit of Gary stu already

Login or register to comment