• Member Since 24th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen May 1st

Carmine Prophet

Veteran, nerd, lover of Sci-Fi, and generaly angry black min. X box gamer tag: A Shiny Latias.


(rewritten. go to my account for friends to the end rebirth)
Two Blackwatch soldiers. Best friends since they where young who after deserting their squads
to save some civilians are the last of Raptor and Reaper Squads. They are taken from their world just before there death at the hands of James Heller the Tango Primary. Now they must survive in a world full of colorful ponies.


More based on their militaristic side instead of just focusing on their powers. Also tell me if you liked it or not and why please.
And any ideas for future chapters are always welcome.

oc harems

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 104 )

I think this has promise! Just try not to rush like you did in their first moments in Equestria. But otherwise only normal grammar mistakes. So very good so far. :moustache:

i dont careee not even mercer could kill heller (and that makes me sad :( ) what makes so different a black watch trooper from mercer? especially when he evolved from a canister?!
form there everything is alright with meh :)

it difference that i hope will suffice. is that mercer never had anything to lose when he fought Heller other than his life. And all Quann was able to do do was scratch Heller. and absorb some biomass making him a bit stronger and by NO means could he beat Heller. same for Heller beating Mercer he was fighting for something.

words can not describe the awesome here but here have 5 stashes :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

cool but at the start I was hoping they would still be human but still cool


i actually at the end of the story post parallel story where Quann is evil

i insist, to get all the powers you must consume all the entity or bio mass from the target =/
other than that i like it

i think he ment destroy them self to destory the virus

A few errors here in there with words but otherwise a fantastic story

Uh. You might want to edit this, The entire thing. And add some detail in, perhaps.

1838879 Are you really arguing with a MLP fan-fiction?

that was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!1!!!!:rainbowdetermined2:

thanks. that means a lot. more will be coming soon.

A really good take on the Prototype fanfiction. I will be reading this later. Although, it is a bit unusual.

Comment posted by .Tzeentch. deleted Feb 24th, 2013

This story recieves all of my yes, and in a more tangible sense five mustaches. :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

did they kill or revert her back?

2175604 Sort of both. She got separated from NMM and NMM was killed...

Anyway, if you're still looking for an editor, I'd be glad to offer my services.

Poor new guys their going into hell now.

This is alright so far, but this needs some definite editing and some parts do feel rushed. E.g Waking up as a pony, no wtf or anything like that, oh and he instantly knows how to levitate.

is heller like using hive mind or something like dat

No it is not heller. but you will find out later. but what i will say is that they are flash backs to his past.

to answer you the reason he was able to use magic already is because if you remember when they were being transformed they were given memories. now those memories were given to them by celestia when she transported them into equestria and that is why he is able to use magic but lacks the training which is why he needs to be tought. But they still remember there old lives. which is why quann and cooper still have the occasional slip up in there speech such as saying everybody insted of every pony, and why they still use the human cus words like fuck instead of buck.

Comment posted by Showmare Trixie deleted Mar 22nd, 2013

as I read about how he was messing with the guard, I couldn't stop laughing... I nearly fell out of my chair.

OMG I died laughing (obviously not literally) when he found out he was now a pack-leader.

huh i think fim fiction is having problems this was not showing up in my faves i only saw the update whenlooking at resently up dated story

2316867 ya i think it has something to do with the new set up maybe.

Okay, I realise you've written a lot since this, but I feel the need to point something out. Black light mutants have crazy regenerative abilities. Heller and Mercer can both take multiple missiles and, once out of the fight, will be capable of regenerating themselves. Mercer even got nuked, and all it took was for him to consume a crow to restart his regenerative process. Even if they don't consume biomass, as long as the injuries aren't too severe, they'll be able to disengage and regenerate in anywhere from minutes to hours. So how is Cooper still injured?


ok so the reason it was taking him so long to heal was because neither of them had consumed any bio mass. And because the amount of the virus in cooper is substantially than what is in quann and because of that he still had some lasting injuries. if that makes sence.

Ok changelings comming in need another chapter ASAP!

:rainbowhuh:Mate, this is actually quite interseting :pinkiehappy: I haven't read it all but in all honesty....I'm confused :ajsleepy:

Other than misspelling Private and VTOL, this is a great story (those are really just annoyances)

A update like this grr lol freaking jerk lol

his chapter was a tad confusing at points at some point the mane six references hands and quinn and cooper had hands, then they had hooves? im a confused here a bit you might wanna consider going through your chapters agaian friend or ask for a prereader to help out

Awesome to the max....

Doesnt count you are the writer... soooooo FIRST JAHAHAHAHAHAHAA:rainbowlaugh:

Now that was a great story and second bitches!

Ow really? Sweet in that case looking forward to more!

2495419 E.Q.A The Relentless. is all i will say for whats coming.

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