• Member Since 9th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen September 15th

Pandora


Emmy. Twenty-two. Bellingham, WA. Still kinda dead inside but honestly doing pretty solid, thanks for asking.

T

(Originally titled Unexplained Hatred)

My name is Adrian Decimus. For years I was the scourge of society because of chaos magic beyond my control, something that had surrounded me since the day I arrived in Equestria. Now, things are changing. Princess Celestia and Twilight have helped me to nullify the chaos magic, and according to old artifacts I am meant to fall in line with the Elements of Harmony and protect them while they carry out the crown's bidding.

Things are brewing on the horizon. Things neither the crown nor myself saw coming. Things that the Elements are going to need me for.

* [] * [] *

The first six chapters of this fan fiction were written three to four years ago, and as such they are... not the best writing. I do an okay job summarizing the "prologue" to this story, so it's not actually necessary you read the first six chapters. You can if you want, of course, but seriously... prepare to cringe. The only thing you have to read before Song One is the first half of Song Zero's introduction, and the only reason I'm coming back to this story was because I think I left it off in a place that it can really thrive from if I do it right. Don't mind the dislike/like ratio, all of those were back from when this story was taking its first few chapters seriously.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 66 )

Okay, one...why do they hate him for no good reason? Why would the elements of harmony themselves distrust and hate him if he looks just like any other pony and there's no "strange being they're wary towards" factor in?

Two...really? The year 2000...but he knows about FiM? The show was not even AROUND in the year 2000, so it makes LESS than no sense that he'd have any idea about Equestria. I know that adaptations of material mean changes, but they have to be changes that make SENSE, and it makes no sense to have this take place in 2003!

Three. REALLY-REALLY? You BLOW. UP. THE EARTH!? That obviously did not happen in the year 2000, it COULD not happen in 2000, what in the holy living hell were you thinking with this blatant, POINTLESS bit of misanthropy? Is it JUST to strand your character on an alien world with no way back home? He's already hated by everyone else, evidently LIGHTYEARS away in a society that has yet to even explore their own moon, let alone go through galaxies! It's pointless, it's senseless, it's cruel, it's an utter WASTE of innocent lives, and it shows a lack of creativity! This story is getting my downvote whilst I encourage people to read GOOD humans and equestria stories like "Not Alone" or "Still Human" or "The Other Side of the Spectrum". What a waste of potential and in just the very first chapter.

My name is Adrian Decimus I am grim dark. Everything bad happened to me. I went to Equestria, now I get sympathy that the disgusting human underlings never gave me. Also, I have a super soldier suit that makes me invincible. I also have a super computer that can do everything.

You people, dear god, put down the matches.

3171296

1: They don't hate him for no reason. This will come to fruition later in the series.
2: As I explained in the summary, he is 14 light years away from earth. He was transported to Equestria in the year 2011, and has been there ever since. Since it is now the year 2014, and Earth is 14 light years away, he can see Earth as it was in the year 2000.
3: I didn't say the Earth blew up. I said it lit up on New Years Eve, 2000. The turning of the millennium. There were lots of lights and large parties were everywhere, so it would make sense that the lights scene from space on the surface of our planet would be brighter on December 31st, 1999 - January 1st, 2000.

But thanks for your input, I think you were just a little bit misled about what I was saying. Still, thanks for your criticism, and I'll be sure to flesh out some details in the later installments.

3171379

Haha! Not a super suit, a magical barrier that takes a lot of energy to keep up, which is why he was getting very tired and dropped his shields.

Comment posted by Walrus King deleted Sep 8th, 2013

3171548
"I didn't say the Earth blew up. I said it lit up on New Years Eve, 2000. The turning of the millennium. There were lots of lights and large parties were everywhere, so it would make sense that the lights scene from space on the surface of our planet would be brighter on December 31st, 1999 - January 1st, 2000."

OH. Geez, don't SCARE me like that, man!

Alright. Alright. I'll give this a few more chapters, see how this plays out and THEN make a more thorough analysis.

3171734

Haha, I'll try to clear these things up before they happen.
Thanks for giving it a second chance though! It means a lot. Plus the second chapter is out so go crazy. :D

...........:rainbowderp:...........wow....just wow

My only issue is that 14 light years away is FAR too close to have not been noticed by astronomers by now as having 1 ) A completely bizarre solar construction, and 2 ) A potentially life-supporting planet. By contrast, it is FAR too far away for him to be able to see the surface of Earth light up for the Millenium celebrations by any means up to and including a Hubble level orbital telescope. It'd probably be better to make him MUCH farther away, by orders of magnitude farther (say, 44,000 LY which would keep him in the Milky Way but too far away for the sun's eccentricity to be noticed if it's on the other side of the galactic core (65,000 light years across the galaxy)). We then have him somehow seeing the celebration lights through a 'magic mirror', which percieves mystical energies travelling at, if 44kLY away, say 1000π times Lightspeed.

3184925

This will be addressed. I have it all planned out, too. Basically SPOILERS magical interference across the surface of the planet has caused it to look barren and lifeless to modern astronomy and science. This is just one detail, there will be more. :D

what's with all the dislikes?

3186782

I don't even know... those were mainly before I released chapter 3-5, and chapters 1 and 2 were pretty slow. So I :heart: the people who like it and the people who dislike it that's their own opinion. But thank you for reading! MOAR TO COMEEE (riiiight after homework :3)

twilight got a secret dark side i hope she doesn't kill him...

3189595

ooooh, you have NO idea.

3190065 why is he fighting? i thought for sure he would try to stay out of sight and not gain there attention by fighting i thought for sure he wasn't looking for a fight or even was a real fighter this is gonna make ponies go looking for a reason to hurt him more now since already a lot of ponies want him to hurt dead crippled at most erased from existence and swept under the carpet forever for the way he looks and feel to them. it weird...

3190430

He's fighting because this is a training arena. He needs to train in order to fend off ponies when they do want him dead, which - thanks to his training - was the reason he was able to hold them off for so long in chapter 1.

You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?

3193957

I NEED TO USE THAT LINE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER THANK YOU

3194350 Nuthin', Hope you use it well, do not shame Majora's Mask dialog!

3194363

Perfect, I also said there was a pond in the arena.... any ben drowned references okay? ;)

3195332 You shouldn't have done that

3196157

hahahahahahahaha :D we'll see what happens :pinkiehappy:

3197037 I shall wait, good luck with the writing, and with the school

I think i got a idea for the arina thing

3489112 Well I got three but still not to sure. Lol.

3489466The only one at the moment is the Hunger games but I know thats wrong.

3489530

... uh... if you're SURE it's wrong...

3490827 Sarcasum or not its confusing considering all of the cartoon fighting shows I have seen in my life looks like that, but thats the only one that kind of comes close.

3490959

Well, you are correct, my good sir. :D

3491047

Haha, congratulations. So you have an OC?

3491050 Sure do. Want me to send ya some info over PM?

3491077

That would probably be best. :)

3492128

You commented on this like 8 times...

3492625 it was once each chapter and on one hoof is my auto rating system i use for that chapter after i read it fully.

3493953

mmmm, I like. XD I was just looking at the overall comments and I was just wat

I KNOW ITS BASED IN THE FIGHT CLUB

P4

Ugh, I hate you. But I must read.

Growls. Oh they want to hate someone do they. THEN THEY'LL HATE MY WRATH! NONE OF THOSE PONIES WILL GO UNPUNISHED I SKY COMMANDER DARK PHOENIX AND SOLAR MOON GUARD OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD SWEAR THAT I WILL MAKE ALL OF THEM PAY! ALL FLEETS MOBILIZE AND SET A COURSE FOR EQUESTRIA WE ARE GOING TO TEACH THEM A LESSON IN ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!!:twilightangry2::fluttercry::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

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