War rages in UNSC space the enemy the Covenant has been trying to stamp out humanity. When a Covenant armada comes close to Planet Onyx. Spartan Team, Foxtrot is sent into Zone 67 to see what they were after. Where Spartan-117 stays back to repel the Covenant forces trying to blast their way to Onyx.
UNDERGOING FULL REWRITE! WILL REPOST ALL CHAPTER ONCE COMPLETE!
Note: If you do not play the video game Halo, some parts may be confusing.
(This story is a based off a story called: Ghosts Of Onyx by Eric Nylund)
(Also Bungie's video game Halo (now owned by 343)
My Editors/Pre-Readers:
Sorious Red-Hoof; Per-Reader and Editor
Rainbow Dashie 99; Pre-Reader and Fellow Author
The one and only Son of the Irish Garlic, Ramseymac; Editor
Cover Art
Chapters (11)
4355801 Noted I'll fix it when my flight lands.
First of all, covenant didn't come till after they finished training, second, pillar of autumn was specifically for the mission it was on before the first halo game. Before that it was an outdated frigate that was wasting away. Third, Spartan 2s didn't train on onyx, only Kurt was there to train s3s
4358145 Yes on somethings you were correct, but if you read back the sentinels came when SPARTAN-III Gamma Company; Teams Saber, Katana, and Gladius, were training i only switched them around having limited knowledge on forerunners I made the decision to switch so my story would be better than me saying "Flying robots" (Link Here to the proof.)
As for the Spartan-II You are correct I'll change that, but the Pillar Of Autumn I am referring to the book Halo: Evolution where in the first short story Dr. Halsey uses the Pillar Of Autumn to collect potential Spartan-II's but having the "Alternate Universe" tag i let it slip for Spartan-III's.
Also Kurt did train the Spartan-III with Chief Mendez (who trained the Spartan-II's) and after Beta Company fell on the attack of the 13 Covenant factory's, SPARTANS Tom-B292 and Lucy-B091 were brought to Onxy to help train but Lucy could not speak because of the shock she was put through. So I took bits and pieces from a lot of halo story's i have read.
Thank You,
SkyDaz
4358994 that makes a bit more sense.
Also, if you need help with grammar editing, I'd be glad to help. I noticed some of it seemed rather broken or run on.
Still though PoA didn't have advanced weaponry, reactors, or AI capability. So ima read more, and see where this goes. Could be good or bad. Hopefully good.
4360732 Indeed, only time shall tell.
-Skydaz
Got e-mail for an update but there isn't one!
4362896 Sorry I have no idea why, are you certain it was this story none the less I'm glad you are enjoying it.
>> SkyDaz
Yeah, I clicked on a link. It's called: "Aliens".
4363062 I see, i don't know it was like 3 am so i may have published then undid it. As for the name of the chaptrer you are indeed correct.
The reference is about the warthog griff complains it looks more like a puma to sarge
4385514 Indeed, my friend.
Well nice chapter, keep going
4388600 Thank you, I certainly will.
I do not wish to sound like a grammar Nazi, but there is quite a lot of mistakes. This is something you should look to improve in future chapters. PS you still have a thumbs up from me. =)
This pleases me, go on
4445932 As you wish your highness
4548275 you have made me so proud.
4548701 jana I am working on the next chapter as I post this so stay tuned your highness for there will be more to read. ;)
4548790 excellent! and thank you for the respect not all are as noble as you, and for that you have more than just respect, you have a new friend.
4548801 *bows* noble posh posh I'm just an average Joe like youreslef well just not born to be royalty.
4548846 I am Nova Borealis, caretaker of the universe and guardian of life, I spread peace and happiness where ever I go but kill all those who oppose me, Freedom of speech and and races is allowed as well as all fair rights, many look at me as a hero, some even a god, I may have been born 13.8 billion years ago but I am no god, just the embodiment of the universe itself, nothing more nothing less...well except this
*points to a metal ring on my horn*
Comet pod, its like the most powerful tool of creation and destruction ever, anyways its an honer to meet you as well.
The Puma
Chief in equestria shit going down
4555460 indeed.
My god, another story with millions of mistakes to correct!
Bring me... THE CORRECTINATOR!
4579153 sorry my English sucks.
4581734
No problem! There's no need to apologise at all!
Is this supposed to be SECTOR TANGO FOXTROT WHISKY 12 \ AT GORGEMEN ORPHANAGE)?
Edit:
I'm 100% of the way through the first chapter, yeah, I'm pretty slow with the editing. But to be fair there are a lot of mistakes and I often come back here to read comments to see what others have seen of the story and what corrections can be made from their point of view
Where did this John character come from? He is neither mentioned or described, he just suddenly appears.
4644209 John is Master Chief's real name.
Who is this 'Tom' character, he was never introduced or described
4647017
Yes, I figured that. But what I mean is you do not indicate who 'John' is. You call him 'The Chief' or 'Master Chief' right up until that point where you suddenly say 'John'. This is confusing as for people that don't know his real name, they won't know who John is.
Under which eye?
Revise this paragraph, it's hard to make any sense out of it
How do they know the guns are weapons? Are guns canon in this universe?
Don't switch between first and third person. It's either first person or third person in a chapter, never both.
Damn. I'm sorry for your loss. He sounded like a true hero. Glad you were able to get back up and keep on running. In my case I literally went running. Helped clear my mind. Thank you for putting forth this not-story related chapter on your story. Your actions and words mean a lot. Don't fret over my situation, I don't want to dig up any pain. While it's impossible to shoulder this weight alone I have friends, family, and readers like you who's words help astronomically. Thank you once again.
Req out~
5019087 Hero... my father hated that word it's funny but he never found himself a hero he always just said he wanted a better world for me. But ya..he was a hero, one they will forget and fade away, but a hero none the less.
5019951 all losses will be remembered. No one's forgotten. His name may be lost to history but his courage and sacrifice will stay, continuously protecting those around us today.
5019951 A hero's sacrifice may be lost to history but in his memory still live those who cherised his company, no book shall be written or songs shall be made, just those who loved him will remember him
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Long live his memory, long live the ones who he cherishes, Stay sharp.
5020360 thank you my friend
5022143 Hey, we stick and take care of our own. No problem whatsoever.
5022166 indeed we do. Indeed we do.
Ive had a loss too, my grandma to cancer (leukimia) hurt everyone. everyone she knew and that was alot
Im sorry for your loss, dont lose hope, people die alt he time but the loved ones we miss the most.
5081115 Thank you for kind words my friend. <3
~The Keymaster
5084348 no problem losses are hard. ;)