Love Potion No. 6

by Flint Sparks

Epilogue

Alfalfa Capone, a black stallion often seen wearing a pinstripe suit and fedora, stepped inside the hut. In his huff, he threw his fedora onto the hat holder and collapsed on the floor. “Confound those idiots! I hope they’re happy in jail with each other!” He sighed, thinking about how two of his gang had overheard a conversation with his best client and actually stalked her. She was under his protection, and his own gang attacked her marefriend! She forgave him, of course, but he insisted on waiving the protection fee for several months to make up for it.

He should’ve noticed their suspicious behavior after the news of their relationship had become widespread. “Seriously, neigh. Trying to kidnap a princess for ransom? We’re talking about the student of a pony who can raise the sun! Can those numbskulls get any dumber?”

A zebra mare walked inside, having spent the day searching for herbs. She trotted up to her boiling pot and tossed an odd plant inside the mix. “While you were taking stress and tire, I alone searched for Heart’s Desire. While I do not approve of all your shady dealings, you might be better off hiring loyal changlings,” Zecora teased as she watched her old partner and recent lover sigh. The love potion she brewed was much more potent and benign than the one the Crusaders whipped up, containing the very essence of love itself. Changlings couldn’t get enough of it.

“Those fools… well at least they found love in each other. Fancy that?” He stood up and shook himself off. “I didn’t know they were into each other, and I suppose they didn’t either.” He trotted up to Zecora and affectionately nuzzled her face. “Your little rhyme wasn’t kidding, neigh?

Zecora grinned and recited the incantation she placed on every bottle of her brew. It was much more commercialized than she’d like, but it was too amusing to pass up.

When your bed is cold and needing a fix,
then you’ll need Love Potion No. 6!
If the spark is gone and the beast is tame,
there is a solution and nopony to blame.
With a single drop your lover’s lips unsealed,
a heart to heart and true love revealed.

Comments

[DegeTheMighty]

Wait, what?

These chapters were posted on August 27th? I take you just finished and just published it?

[Mr Afro Pony]

Hmm, I think you have more stories than me now!

guineapigcages.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=30639&d=1342641774

[Flint Sparks]

3310162
I couldn't help myself

[Scootabot]

This confused me to no end.

[Flint Sparks]

3312118
Explain.

[lmagine]

Man, great story. Sad to see this didn't make the top 5.

[Flint Sparks]

3312213
Hey, at least I got into the 'featured' folder in One-shotober.

Plus, I wrote this more than a month ago. You can tell I've improved and that's what's important!

[lmagine]

3312221

You've improved a lot actually.
I now have the need to write this pair.

[Flint Sparks]

3312232
I might have the need to read it as soon as you write it.

[Flint Sparks]

3312335
Because I'm a nerd and have incredible fashion sense. My personality just resonates with these two mares the most, plus they have chemistry that a lot of the fandom tries to ignore.

AppleDash and FlutterDash are (more) obvious, and easier to enjoy. Rarity and Twilight are all about subtlety.

Oh, and oh you!

[FromTheMoon]

Well you've just gained another follower.

[Scootabot]

3312139 Okay, so, gangsters. Inventive idea, but I didn't quite know the reason why Rarity would be involved with them.

I liked the way that you described their relationship though out, though, I can't say that the scene in the restaurant made any sense.

Rarity actually described what it felt like to feel the bullet hit her. I mean, sure, that creates a lot of dramatic tension, but it's like; It's really messing around with the reader isn't it? I mean, one moment, two ponies are having a nervous dinner. Another, Gangsters are shooting up a bistro. Fighting ensues, with Twilight's mastery over magic, I'd assume she'd be able to do more than just burn someone, right? Anyway, I digress

It was confusing because;

1. Rarity described the bullet entering her.
2. Twilight seemed to have a very limited supply of magic for an Alicorn.
3. It was all played off as some joke?

There was a lot of dramatic build up for a very confusing payout.

Other than that, I enjoyed the story.

[Flint Sparks]

3313886
1.) Heh heh. I actually get to use science to explain this one

She began to feel the pull of gravity as the ball made impact on her chest, the force traveling through her body.

the force

When you're hit by something, the kinetic energy travels through you. I never said a bullet went through her body, I said the ball made impact. I got you there!

2.) Alicorns are iffy. Keep in mind that the two celestial princesses are a thousand years old, and are bound to be more powerful than Twilight even if her talent is magic. And keep in mind Twilight wouldn't want to hurt a pony, even in anger. Burning his feather/fur off was letting him off easy. A princess needs to control her emotions, so to even do that was a stretch. Anypony less would have just... ya know, blown him up. Personally. Graphically. While laughing. That's what Sombra is for.

3.) It's MLP. Do you want to see ponies light up a restaurant as the body count soars? Sorry, but this isn't FO:E I wanted to put gangsters in it for some reason with violin cases, but didn't want any actual death. Far better to make a crack at the nobles' snobbiness than to kill one of the characters in the pairing. The RariTwi must never die.

[Flint Sparks]

3315207
Debatable, but I'm sure Rarity would correct me too. Personally I like it, but I'm no fashion designer.
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[Sam Cole]

So I've had to wait till I had a night off to read this, and I'm glad I finally got one. This is a pretty damned good story Sparks. I must admit I like the 'not actually dead thing,' it would have killed the mood, but a futa spell? I have another doc I need to link to you. Over all, 4/5 only cause I'm stealing a star for using Alfalfa Capone instead of Al Capony.

Just kidding 5/5

[Flint Sparks]

3327006
*facepalm*
Capony. Capony. Why didn't I think of that?! Pone is often used for pony, but seriously. I should have thought of that. The prompt demanded that one character has a secret to tell so I decided on pregnancy. I mean, they are unicorns.

Oh, and feel free! How are you doing on the previous one (who's title I will not utter because spoilers)? I haven't been able to read much of anything lately.

[Scootabot]

3314207 Of course not. The way you wrote it just seemed far too gruesome for a result that wasn't worth the joke.

[Flint Sparks]

3329352
I'm sorry, I was trying to deploy situational irony.

Anyway, I'm sorry you didn't like that part and I hoped the rest was up to standard. It's too late to change it, but....

I do thank you for the input. I wrote this nearly two months ago and I'm still growing as a writer. You've given me something to keep in mind next time, and that will help me in the long run. Much appreciated.

[Derpator]

Let's see, when was the last comment? 55 weeks ago? Damn, I'm necromancing something here, but as a reader, just thought I'd input my thoughts on this.

Simply put, I really enjoyed this. From beginning to end, I found myself captured in your words. I found it very believable, with the characters being fleshed out and having grown from the relationship going on. I especially liked how Rarity and Twilight came to be. So much, in fact, that some of me wishes for clop chapters on when they shared their first moment, as well as when that futa spell must have come into effect. I can only imagine a lot of pleasure went on that night, yet it's only stated here. Shame.

Twilight being pregnant was, honestly, something I didn't see coming. I'm not sure if it was foreshadowed (and if it was, I must have missed it), but it was actually pretty nice. No wonder she was on edge a lot of the time. And then there was Rarity and her concern for their relationship. Like I said: very believable, and I think you pulled it off perfectly here. It was a tale most alluring, I can keep reaffirming that. And somehow, I knew that the bullets weren't real. In actuality, I was beginning to think it was all a ruse from Rarity's end to either trick Twilight into drinking the potion or get some kind of confession from her. I was surprised when that scene happened, though I somehow knew. The rating, as well as what the fic was couldn't convince me otherwise, though I highly doubt that was the intention.

Something I'm still unclear of is the gangsters. If I am to remember, they wanted to kidnap Twilight for ransom, and so they only faked a real shoot-out to get her, rather than actual bullets? Another thing I'm unsure on is why one of them sat down in front of Rarity when Twilight skipped to the bathroom. What did they talk about? I don't know if that conversation or any of their dialogue was expanded upon. If it was, I must of missed it, and it left me confused about it entirely.

This story is quite old. Still, in this time, I did, again, find it quite the read. It's been in my Read It Later list for a few weeks now, and I'm proud to say this is one of the fics I'm glad to have read, and I somewhat feel a bit ashamed of myself for not reading it sooner, had I known what I'd be in for. Bit of a long comment I know, but I thought I'd leave my thoughts.

Well done!

[Flint Sparks]

5316873 Thanks! This one is a guilty pleasure, mostly because I think I've improved much since I've written this. Glad you liked it!