It's not the future, not yet, though it is surely on its way. History continues to repeat itself again and again. But everything changes eventually, and events are set in motion that will change the fate of an entire species.
This is my attempt at a conversion bureau story. It does not adhere to any canon that exists beyond my head. (Unless someone already did it first, in which case similarities are purely accidental?) I'm hoping that this detail will help people give it a second chance.
Chapters (1)
I just don't know what went wrong!
Hmm. I'm guessing Twilight just accidentally breached the barrier between Earth and Equestria, among other things. I get the feeling that this is far from the last we'll see of Equestria's warp core. (Sorry, I just can't help but think of it that way, complete with Scottish-accented Celestia shouting "She can't take much more, Jim!")
Also, very interesting to note that changelings consider themselves a pony tribe. That says a lot, and implies some surprises when the story gets to the actual conversions.
In any case, I look forward to seeing more of this world you've created and very nearly destroyed.
3007990
That Elements of Harmony sourcebook calls them ponies, so I went with it!
Edit: Grotesque shapeshifting ponies, at that.
Really good ideas, and very well written!
Well done: added immediately to Adventurous Stories from submissions folder in the Conversion Bureau. I'll still leave a copy in submissions too. More exposure is good exposure.
Nifty concepts, well written, and you get a follow and a fave. I am impressed!
3008155
For sure, thank you for the consideration!
Eh its alright so far but I'll wait and see whats going to happen down the line.
3008654
Good call. There's not exactly a lot to base an opinion on yet. It doesn't even involve humans yet.
Hmmm... I won't say this is good for a first chapter of a first fiction, because I cannot in good conscience say that. This is better than 90% of the "first" stories I've read. Continue, you have this one's avid attention.
Also, I was thinking of this music once the "core" started acting up.
[youtube=ti9XWBKvzJg]
3009208
The song is fitting!
I appreciate the compliment, but it's really not my 'first' or anything like that. It's not even my first on this site! I used to write a side-story for Myths and Birthrights, but I had a bit of a falling out with the main story's author and took my story down.
3009417 Well, it seems that the experience has taught you well. Your grammar is certainly better than mine was when I began, and reading this gives me the impression that you have a grand design to see completed. This is very good for a story to have.
3009422
I actually already have a sequel/sidestory in mind. I don't like writing two things at once though, so it'll probably wait until after this one is finished. I'm going to try and keep my scope from reaching GRRMY levels, no one likes germs.
I can't really make any promises though, I did name the story Rhapsody for a reason. I know what has already happened, the story is mostly just writing characters up and seeing how they react.
Poor Twilight.
Now she knows how it feels when you overclock things in a computer for the first time, without doing your homework...
That is the single best one-line description of a species I've ever seen.
3041799
I am glad you approve. I personally thought it was a bit over the top, but then, the character is over the top anyway, so whatever.
3009417
It's still better than the crap I posted when I started.
And now to the actual criticism: if the Engine of Harmony is that powerful and that easy to damage, then why was Twilight just left there without a word of safety precautions!?
I mean, yeah, Trollestia and all that, but this isn't Trollestia, this is just kinda... I'm sorry, but it really looks like you punted your Celestia and Twilight with the Idiot Ball in order to get a plot going.
3043547
Nothing has ever actively gone onto that plane and messed with things before. It's completely out of left field, and there 'was' tampering involved, and scheming involved.
Celestia had no reason to believe Twilight was going to just go super saiyan and jump start the engine, and Twilight wasn't in her right mind in general.
It's really not that easy to damage. It really was a perfect storm of incidents.
3043711
Ah. Could you maybe portray more of the difference between being One With The Magic and just Mad With Power?
3043715
I'll give it some thought. I appreciate the criticism.