The Widening Gyre
Sleep was a rare privilege to the drones of the hive. It was cherished with the same eagerness as a filling portion of contentment. Only the superiors ever got to feed on actual love, their satisfaction fed their drones like some immense trickle down system. A pyramid scheme with a beating heart and hard black carapace. The drone stirred from its rest. It's hard insect like limbs pawed at the membrane surrounding it.
This one, like the rest of his kin, did not have a name. Rather it was identified by its unique smell. The drone did not lament this lack of identity, for indeed it seemed a smell was far more unique method of definition than any jumble of sounds and syllables the other tribes could recite and adopt, never caring that somewhere out there an individual with the same definition existed. How many colts had been named Starswirl by now? It was impossible to say.
To the best of his knowledge, he was the only member of his caste that smelt of strawberries and mint leaves. In so many words, one might wonder how that would be any different than being named Strawberry Mint. Subtle variations took things a step further, of course. There had been, and would be, other changelings with a scent similar to his, but never quite the same. Trying to put it into words defeated the point, really. It would be easier to say that he smelled like him. He would have to settle for sharing an identity with strangers in other ways. Usually by counterfeit, naturally.
He pitied the other tribes of pony, who possessed such short-sighted notions of identity. Strawberry Mint could be a pegasus today, a unicorn tomorrow, and an earth pony the day after that. In spite of these changes, he never lost sight of who he was to the hive. Heck, if he survived long enough he might even encounter one of Luna’s chosen of the night. The ability to copy one of the night princesses's thestrals was an achievement worthy of respect, and those that knew the trick often kept it to themselves.
The changeling that smelled of mint strawberries stretched and regained a certain functional degree of consciousness. At least enough to slip out of the carefully tended soporific slime of his sleeping pod. The fluid slid off the creature perfectly, leaving not a trace on his smooth hard chitin.
Sleep was rare for a reason, once isolated from the flow of the hive it could be difficult to become... reacquainted. Strictly speaking sleep was not necessary, but a sleepless changeling must feed often. Their metabolism would demand more until they became nearly insatiable. Such ravenous hunger rarely serves the hive well, so mandated periods of slumber became a thing. Not that anypony was complaining.
Strawberry Mint navigated the intense labyrinth of chemical signals in a state of bewilderment, his chitinous hooves tapped with eerie rhythm against the castle’s flagstone floor. There were far more of these scattered about than necessary, what was it this time? Some old unicorn holdfast? It was impossible to say with the tapestries withered as they were. Even the pegasi came down from their clouds occasionally. Back in darker days when such things had been necessary, and the tribes had been at each other’s proverbial throats.
Then he caught a whiff of something strange. Not the insistent urging of the hive, but something else, something more esoteric. There were few things Strawberry Mint adored more than a good mystery. It was a special weakness of his, and a sure sign of development. Good news for him, annoying for those above him. At least until the appropriate growth spurts occurred.
He followed the faint aroma down into the depths of the castle, through winding corridors and abandoned rooms, until even the commotion of the hive was a distant thrum. His journey led him to a large oak door, bound in iron and barely attached to the wall.
Strawberry Mint reared back and slammed his hooves into the rotten wood of the door. It shattered easily, revealing the poorly illuminated darkness on the other side.
Strawberry Mint inhaled deeply, but detected nothing but dust and old paper. Cautiously he made his way inside. The room must have been huge, for he traveled for some time before reaching anything like a wall. His path led him to a staircase with narrow steps, each one made an alien clanging sound as his hooves fought to maintain balance. It was as though the floor itself were made of metal. But he'd never heard of anypony doing such a thing.
The air was different here, and he could no longer smell the hive at all. Briefly he considered becoming a unicorn, some poor mare from the doomed assault on Canterlot. He could mimic her magical illumination and throw the chamber into stark relief. When he reached the top of the stairway the halls burst with new found light. Everything was visible, and it seemed as though such things would not be necessary.
This place was not the castle he had wandered through, that much was certain. The floor was soft wood and hard metal, the halls were lined with narrow closets, all of them were barred shut.
So many locked doors, so much hidden away. He absolutely had to get inside. He adopted that mare’s form after all, and with a flash of sickly green light the first lock tumbled to the floor with a soft thud. The door creaked open, and the changeling stepped tentatively inside.
____
Twilight Sparkle walked the familiar path to the chamber of her mentor, Princess Celestia. The halls were immaculate, as usual, and the tapestries hung with care. Today was going to be an important day. It had been exactly one year since her little moment of apotheosis, and Celestia claimed she had something very important to show her.
In short order she stood before the door of her mentor, just as she had done so many times before. Feelings of anxiety gnawed at her heart, her tail flicked about in agitation, and her wings ruffled slightly, leaving several feathers disheveled. Twilight paused, placed a hoof to her chest, and took a deep breath.
If only anxiety were so easily defeated, but at least it gave her the strength to maintain appearances, and appearance went a long way.
“Celestia?” Twilight called out as she pushed open the door with her magic. It had taken her a little over six months to get her to drop the customary title, something her teacher had insisted was no longer necessary.
“I am here Twilight, please come in.” The melodious voice echoed out at Twilight from the comforting warmth of Celestia’s room.
The personal chambers of Celestia, princess of the sun, barely resembled a living space at all. For all practical purposes it was a study with a hearth and a cushion for sleeping on. Beside the cushion there were two large piles of books. It seemed Celestia loved reading as much as Twilight did, if such a thing could be said of anypony. That she found time in the day for so much was a little mind-boggling, but Twilight had made peace with the notion that her mentor somehow had time for everything important to her. It was less upsetting than roughly 80% of the things Pinkie Pie managed anyway.
“You wanted to speak with me in private?” Twilight ran a hoof nervously through the hair of her left foreleg.
“Yes, I did. Today was a very special day for you, wasn’t it?” Celestia automatically set to work preparing tea for two, an act that soothed her student’s nerves considerably. If they were having tea it couldn’t be anything too serious.
“It really was, everything has changed! But sometimes I still wake up in the morning and I almost forget I have wings now...” She stared down into her empty teacup.
“You always had wings Twilight, you simply needed a little guidance to realize them.” A steaming hot red liquid poured magically into the two present cups. The aroma of hibiscus and oranges billowed out with it. “But that is not what I wanted to talk to you about today.”
“It’s not?” Twilight tilted her head even as a breeze of magenta light lifted her cup from its saucer.
“Do you remember when you created new magic, Twilight?”
“You mean after helping my friends? With the elements?” Twilight sipped at her tea, quietly of course.
“Immediately after that.” Celestia took a sip of her own. “The place where I found you.”
“Oh... That.” Twilight’s voice trailed off. Truth be told she had many questions regarding the strange place of her transformation, but Celestia never invited investigation, and the place seemed too... Sacred, to instigate things.
Celestia nodded quietly, bringing her teacup to rest on its plate. “Yes, that. I would like to talk with you about that place. Surely you have some questions?”
“Well I... Yes? I do?” Twilight shook her head and set her tea down, mirroring the motions of her mentor. “There were stars everywhere... Was that the underworld? Was I dead?” Twilight’s eyes were pleading, there was a desperate fear lurking in them. The idea that she had been so close to leaving her friends behind, it was too much for one pony to bear.
Celestia barely suppressed a faint laugh, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Not quite. Those were not stars, they were... something else.”
“Something else?”
“I believe it would be easier if I showed you. As an alicorn, you may return to that place at any time.” Celestia smiled down at her. “In fact, I would encourage it. It can be a pleasant reminder of who and what you are, and regularly tending to it can be very important, in dark times.”
“Okay... So where do we start? Is there some sort of spell? I haven’t seen anything like that place in any boo-” Celestia silenced Twilight with a gesture.
“Nothing so complex.” Celestia rose to her feet and moved around the room until she was by Twilight’s side. She lowered herself back down, folded her limbs into a comfortable position, and wrapped a massive wing around the younger alicorn. “Just lay beside me, and close your eyes. Listen to my instructions very carefully.”
Twilight took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’m ready princess...” It seemed in spite of her status, it was still all too easy to slip into old habits.
“The method of the journey is indeed magic, Twilight Sparkle. But it is no magic a unicorn would know, nor would they bother adding it to their texts. It is simpler, and requires the enduring heart of an earth pony. It is aloof, and requires the soaring vision of a pegasus.” Celestia paused taking a deep breath herself, her much larger body wriggled against the stone of the castle, fighting to get absolutely comfortable. “And yes, it does require a certain degree of unicorn know-how, to penetrate the illusions and isolate reality.”
Twilight’s body was utterly at ease, even her wings remained calmly by her sides. “It’s about Harmony, isn’t it princess?”
“Yes, dearest Twilight.” Celestia leaned down and nuzzled her. “As alicorns, Harmony is all that we are. As the land and our ponies prosper, so shall we. Everything is connected, like notes in a song.”
Twilight barely managed a nod. The princess’s words soothed more than her beating heart, they also soothed her soul. The princess was right about one thing, most definitely. Wings were the least of her developments that fateful day. While an earth pony might have a heart that could power their bodies through any obstacle, their magic was far deeper than that. Likewise, pegasi were more than just a pair of wings and a talent for walking on clouds. These elements were a part of her now, and were woven into the very fabric of her being. It was often difficult to think of them as additions at all.
“Do you feel it yet? A faint tugging at your senses?”
Twilight nodded her head slowly. “Yes, I think so.” Her tail flicked with concern. It was not a comfortable sensation, it was very similar to scrambling on a sheet of ice.
“Don’t be afraid, Twilight. Allow yourself to slip free. It will be quick, I promise.”
Twilight didn’t have time to reply to that reassurance. What happened next did not seem to demand her consent at all. She suddenly lost all grip of herself and recoiled at the intense feeling of tumbling around in the air. With a suddenness that was nauseating, the sensation passed.
Twilight opened her eyes, and found herself at the site of her rebirth. Beneath her was a sky of brilliant light blue, the colour of a delightful afternoon, and above her was the sky at night. All around her pale white orbs flickered and drifted about.
“It’s even more beautiful than I remember...”
Celestia’s laughter rang out amidst the not entirely empty void. “Isn’t it though?” Celestia nudged a sphere of light with her hoof. “I love it here, I wish I could spend more time immersed in it.”
Twilight stared at the orb of light that Celestia was playing with for several silent seconds. Then she spoke. “So those aren’t stars? What are they?”
“It’s magic, Twilight.” She pulled her hoof away and allowed the light to drift off, as though pulled by the current of an invisible stream. “It is a side of our universe few ever get to see.”
“I don’t understand...” Twilight shook her head. “This is all very beautiful, but what does it have to do with what you want to show me? Why wait until now to bring it up at all?”
“Remain quiet, and listen carefully.” Celestia closed her eyes, her ears twitching as they honed in on a distant sound. Twilight mirrored her mentor perfectly.
It took a few moments to isolate it, but in the distance she detected a faint chiming sound. An isometric rhythm that tugged at her heartstrings.
“Princess... Is that what pulled me here in the first place?”
Celestia moved forward with long graceful strides, and made way for the source of the music. “Mhm,” was the only response she supplied. Twilight followed behind quietly, a thoughtful expression on her face the entire way.
The music grew in volume and intensity until she was certain the notes themselves were shifting the feathers in her wings, or the strands of hair in her mane. These things were falling back into place quite nicely, and without any attention from Twilight herself. Finally, the pair of alicorns arrived in a space that was clear of the smaller less vibrant wisps. Here several large spheres of light formed a circle. The largest hovered high in the center.
“This is the source of our world’s magic, Twilight.” Celestia smiled. “Do you see why I wanted to show this to you now?”
Twilight’s jaw fell open in awe. She quickly closed it and fought for her composure. “This is...” She took a few steps closer, and listened to the perfect rhythm. Each orb of light sent a pulse of sound, that chime from earlier, into the air. Each note struck the center sphere, and emitted a dull pulse that could be felt in the air around it. One after another, everything in perfect harmony.
Twilight glanced down at her cutie mark. Six stars, not the five from before her transformation. She looked back at the engine, for that felt like the best term to describe it. Six orbs of light, with one more in the center.
“Princess, I think it’s my cutie mark...” Twilight took a fearful step back, one foreleg raised in the air. Her ears lay flat against her head.
“I believe the correlation is there, yes.” Celestia was there again, nuzzling at Twilight’s side. A light nip helped bring Twilight back to the situation at hoof. Her ears perked up curiously.
“So my special talent really is magic, not just unicorn magic?”
“That seems to be the implication, yes.” Celestia nodded thoughtfully. “Ordinarily this engine requires maintenance from time to time. The orbs grow faint, or sing off key. When that happens it disrupts the harmony of the whole system. The effect on Equestria can be devastating if not managed quickly.
“But ever since you and your friends began wielding the elements of harmony I have not needed to alter things at all. Not even once.” She lowered her ears then. “Well, there was a brief hiccup when Discord broke loose, but it was nothing a few letters sent your way did not fix. Usually the maintenance needs to be performed directly.”
“Will you teach me how to tune it?” Twilight asked with a hint of excitement in her voice. After a year of uncertainty she felt like this was it. She finally knew why she was an alicorn now! She felt an instinctive adoration for the engine, and was more than willing to spend the rest of forever just harmonizing with it. Her ears perked up and she turned to Celestia, her eyes glowing with epiphany.
“There is one of these for the sun and the moon each, isn’t there?!”
Celestia smiled in response. “A wise assumption Twilight, but not quite.” She stood side by side with her student and looked up at the engine. “Everything is different, in its own way. Everything is unique. There are many other systems like this one, though different in their own way, keeping up with all of them would be quite impossible. There simply aren’t enough alicorns for that.”
Twilight nodded. “I think I understand what you mean. I wonder what the sun sounds like...”
“Oh? You mean you don’t remember?” Celestia chuckled lightly.
“I... No?”
“Think back to your first Summer Sun Celebration. I think you’ll find it was the sun’s song that called out to you in the first place, and helped you find your way here.”
Twilight blinked, and a torrent of memory came crashing down on her. She had nearly forgotten how easily one could look in on the past from this place. And there it was, unmistakable now that she had an ear for it.
“Oh... Celestia, it’s beautiful...” She nuzzled her mentor gleefully.
“Thank you,” Celestia reciprocated the gesture. “Most of my time is invested in it, after all.”
The pair closed their eyes and listened to the music of harmony for some time before being disturbed by a chill nightly breeze. Celestia and Twilight turned their heads to address their company.
“Sister.” The regal form of Luna, princess of the night, wavered into being before them. “... and Twilight Sparkle,” she addressed her sister’s student not unkindly.
“You’re up early, Luna. Is something the matter?” Celestia’s posture was calm, but there was ever a hint of worry in her voice where her sister was concerned.
Luna trotted up to the pair, and came to a stop beside her sister. “There is a new development in the Everfree that I feel warrants your attention.” Her eyes were narrowed with urgency, but if something was worth being addressed it was rarely anything but urgent. At least the princess of the night seemed to think so.
“It is quite beautiful, Twilight Sparkle. I apologize for interrupting your revery.”
Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by her mentor’s immediate reply.
“Very well, I will accompany you Luna. You can tell me all about the problem on the way.” She nuzzled her one-time student once more. “Wait here for me, Twilight. Consider it time to get to know yourself a bit better.”
Luna’s eyes narrowed further, if such a thing were even possible. “Does this not demand her attention as well?”
Celestia shook her head. “Is it so urgent that it demands the attention of three alicorns immediately? Twilight can be brought up to speed later. This is what is important to her now.” Celestia turned back to her student and spoke gravely. “Remember Twilight, any changes you make here can have severe consequences elsewhere. I would advise you to not interfere with anything, but if you must, do so sparingly, and above all gently.”
Twilight nodded in earnest. “You can count on me princess! I’ll just listen to it for awhile longer!”
Celestia nodded in response, then she and her sister wandered off into the rivers of light and sound. Faintly Twilight felt she could hear them start to argue, but that wasn’t important to her now. What was important was sitting right in front of her.
The overwhelming love she felt for these spheres was terrible. Some deep part of her wanted nothing more than to reach out and embrace the sphere closest to her, and after a few minutes of restraint, that is exactly what she did. The glowing sphere continued its function unimpeded, and Twilight nuzzled it with all the ferocity of a mother clinging to its foal. The warmth of the thing filled her up and made her feel more alive than she had ever felt before.
With a sigh, she finally pulled herself away, and immediately regretted it. She opened her eyes just in time to see something most foreign swirling amidst the motes of light.
A tendril of darkness, not great or massive, but small and diminutive, lanced out from the distance and toward her beloved instrument. Twilight threw herself in between it and the brilliant spheres. The jagged spear moved faster and faster, and the young alicorn closed her eyes tightly, gritting her teeth against inevitable impact.
And then nothing happened. She opened her eyes. The tendril had zigzagged at the last possible moment. It weaved around her and dove straight for the sphere directly behind her. Its trail was already rapidly vanishing.
Twilight let out a shocked gasp and dove for the orb, already it was chiming out of sequence with the others. It felt like an intense violation she had never before known. Some part of her was wounded to hear it make such a noise, and she would not stand for it. The drunk dizziness that accompanied her fits was setting in, but she didn’t care. Something had hurt what was precious to her, and she would resolve the matter immediately.
With a flap of her wings Twilight dashed toward the center of the circle, her eyes glowing brightly. She stood directly under the largest sphere, arched her head back, and fired a beam of pristine white light up into it. Briefly, the instrument played in reverse, sending loud crashing notes of sound back down into each of the spheres in sequence. Her senses reached out and became one with all of the spheres. She could sense the darkness clinging to the one that had been infected, and she felt grim satisfaction when it withered and was snuffed out. The machine was working just like before.
But that wasn’t good enough, not now. She felt connected. She felt complete, and her heart told her that things could be running even better than they had before. She poured a little more light into the spheres, pushing them harder and faster. Every subtle hiccup and misfire was eradicated, the notes came faster, the melody was more intricate. Who knew what magics might be born of this?
And that’s when Twilight came back to her senses, the white glow abandoning her eyes. It took her several moments to realize what was happening, but with a shake of her head she cleared her mind.
This wasn’t what she had wanted at all. This was wrong. The notes were crashing into the center sphere, and the center... Well, the center could not hold. She fought desperately to wind things back down. To slow the beating to a healthy pace, but it had been too much, too soon. The center sphere launched high into the air like a rock launched from a stopped up geyser. Twilight did not what to think about what would happen if that sphere crashed back down. She unfurled her wings and flew up and after it. She marveled at her speed, and was grateful to Rainbow Dash for all of that flying practice over the past year.
She finally caught up to the orb of light as it began to descend. She seized it in her forehooves and cradled it against her body. Her relief was boundless, and tears began to flood her eyes. She gently curved and drifted back down to the ground. The orb was safe, everything was going to be just fine.
The notes were still crashing out, and it was the first of many reality checks for her. She looked down and realized she was still holding the orb of light tightly against her coat, but she did not know what to do with it. The music was pouring out with nowhere to go but up and out. They couldn’t go on forever, though. Distant crashes echoed back, and the whole plane shook with the rapid impacts.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia’s voice cried out, filled with grief and terror. A blinding flash of sudden light forced Twilight to avert her eyes, and she was content to keep them that way. “Twilight... What have you done?” Celestia’s mouth fell open in terror.
“I... I'm not really sure? Something happened to one of the spheres, something wrong, and I just had to fix it!” She sniffled loudly. “And then I just... kinda kept going! I thought I was making it better! But I wasn’t! I didn’t! Oh princess. I am so sorry...” Twilight cried desperately into the orb clutched between her limbs.
Celestia did not spare another comment. She charged into the center of the circle and began tuning each sphere with flashes of golden light, but there were too many for her to many any real impact. By the time she had worked her way around, the disharmony had reinfected the others. Luna arrived shortly after her sister. Her wings hung limp at her sides, and her eyes were wide with fear.
“Sister!” Celestia called out desperately. “Please...”
The princess of the night shook her head, reclaiming her aura of ferocity. She dove in after her sister, and together the two began to bathe the spheres in the light of their magic.
Twilight watched on quietly, her eyes wide. It was a dance that wove enchantment, hope, and wonder. Between the two sisters there was a faint dissonance, but there was also unyielding love, and that love was all that was necessary.
The notes came at their old steady pace once again, and the two princesses trotted forth, both were panting heavily. A golden light engulfed the sphere Twilight clutched so desperately, and wrenched it free. It flew up and over the circle, until it was once more perched and part of the system.
“Twilight Sparkle...” Celestia nearly collapsed while lowering herself. “I think you have some explaining to do.”
Luna remained standing, and did not say anything.
Twilight nodded weakly, and looked up. “Princess... I was just listening like you wanted me to, but then this streak came out of nowhere! It was as dark as night!”
Luna’s eyes narrowed at Twilight’s word use, but again she remained silent.
“I tried to keep it from getting to the spheres, but it went around me, and got in anyway! I don’t know what came over me, I just wanted to make things right again!” Her tears were flowing freely now, and the hair of her coat was matted. “And then I got a little carried away...”
Celestia’s eyes widened considerably. “A little carried away? Twilight... If you hadn’t saved the center, this could have been the end of Equestria...” She shook her head and looked down. “No... Worse. Equestria would have continued to exist, but it would be dead. Everypony would be living in a world without magic, without a soul.”
The princess of the sun rose to her feet and looked down at Twilight like a sovereign pronouncing judgement. “There is no way of knowing what damage was done, or how much, but you will make things right, Twilight.”
“Yes! I will! Of course I will! Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it!” Twilight was borderline hysterical, she was not accustomed to failure at this point in her life.
Princess Luna finally made herself known, and spoke quietly to Celestia. “Sister... I should depart and survey any changes... With your permission?”
Celestia offered Luna a grim nod as her only response, and the princess of the night galloped off. Though she spared a single look back at Twilight. The princess seemed more sad than angry.
Twilight shook her head and continued to cry. “I’m so sorry princess. I promise it will never happen again.”
At first, only silence met her ears, and then she started to tremble. A graceful white foreleg reached out and pulled her in close with a strength and suddenness that startled Twilight out of her fit.
“It can never happen again Twilight. We still do not know if we are safe even now.” The solar princess stared down at her with exhausted eyes. “But this can never happen again, do you understand?”
Twilight buried herself against her mentor’s coat. “Never again. It can’t happen ever again...”
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I just don't know what went wrong!
Hmm. I'm guessing Twilight just accidentally breached the barrier between Earth and Equestria, among other things. I get the feeling that this is far from the last we'll see of Equestria's warp core. (Sorry, I just can't help but think of it that way, complete with Scottish-accented Celestia shouting "She can't take much more, Jim!")
Also, very interesting to note that changelings consider themselves a pony tribe. That says a lot, and implies some surprises when the story gets to the actual conversions.
In any case, I look forward to seeing more of this world you've created and very nearly destroyed.
3007990
That Elements of Harmony sourcebook calls them ponies, so I went with it!
Edit: Grotesque shapeshifting ponies, at that.
Really good ideas, and very well written!
Well done: added immediately to Adventurous Stories from submissions folder in the Conversion Bureau. I'll still leave a copy in submissions too. More exposure is good exposure.
Nifty concepts, well written, and you get a follow and a fave. I am impressed!
3008155
For sure, thank you for the consideration!
Eh its alright so far but I'll wait and see whats going to happen down the line.
3008654
Good call. There's not exactly a lot to base an opinion on yet. It doesn't even involve humans yet.
Hmmm... I won't say this is good for a first chapter of a first fiction, because I cannot in good conscience say that. This is better than 90% of the "first" stories I've read. Continue, you have this one's avid attention.
Also, I was thinking of this music once the "core" started acting up.
[youtube=ti9XWBKvzJg]
3009208
The song is fitting!
I appreciate the compliment, but it's really not my 'first' or anything like that. It's not even my first on this site! I used to write a side-story for Myths and Birthrights, but I had a bit of a falling out with the main story's author and took my story down.
3009417 Well, it seems that the experience has taught you well. Your grammar is certainly better than mine was when I began, and reading this gives me the impression that you have a grand design to see completed. This is very good for a story to have.
3009422
I actually already have a sequel/sidestory in mind. I don't like writing two things at once though, so it'll probably wait until after this one is finished. I'm going to try and keep my scope from reaching GRRMY levels, no one likes germs.
I can't really make any promises though, I did name the story Rhapsody for a reason. I know what has already happened, the story is mostly just writing characters up and seeing how they react.
Poor Twilight.
Now she knows how it feels when you overclock things in a computer for the first time, without doing your homework...
That is the single best one-line description of a species I've ever seen.
3041799
I am glad you approve. I personally thought it was a bit over the top, but then, the character is over the top anyway, so whatever.
3009417
It's still better than the crap I posted when I started.
And now to the actual criticism: if the Engine of Harmony is that powerful and that easy to damage, then why was Twilight just left there without a word of safety precautions!?
I mean, yeah, Trollestia and all that, but this isn't Trollestia, this is just kinda... I'm sorry, but it really looks like you punted your Celestia and Twilight with the Idiot Ball in order to get a plot going.
3043547
Nothing has ever actively gone onto that plane and messed with things before. It's completely out of left field, and there 'was' tampering involved, and scheming involved.
Celestia had no reason to believe Twilight was going to just go super saiyan and jump start the engine, and Twilight wasn't in her right mind in general.
It's really not that easy to damage. It really was a perfect storm of incidents.
3043711
Ah. Could you maybe portray more of the difference between being One With The Magic and just Mad With Power?
3043715
I'll give it some thought. I appreciate the criticism.