• Published 25th Jun 2013
  • 954 Views, 30 Comments

Advance - Mist

The age of technology has hit Equestria. Ponies everywhere are connecting in ways they never felt imaginable. In this world of constant digital connection, Apple Bloom is learning that things change as you get older...

  • ...



There I sat at the cafe at the edge of town. Hours of work had me haggard and worn out. Having a coffee was hardly in my budget, but it was almost necessary if I was to actually survive my second job later tonight. I wished so much that I could call in sick, but then again being sick is what got me in this position in the first place, not to mention I couldn't afford a day off.

Downing half of the hot beverage, I brushed my rough pink mane out of my eye. I noticed it was far from as silky as it once was. A new living budget meant that I could no longer use the shampoo I preferred, and as a result I now had rather coarse mane accompanied by split ends.

My eyes wandered before landing on a familiar Apple Bloom leaving the cemetery hoof-in-hoof with one Trixie Lulamoon. She must have gone to see some pony long past. Those were the lucky ones, the ones who exist only in memory and could become invisible whenever.

Oh how I wished I too could turn invisible again like I was before this life. However at the same time, I was still suffering from when my last wish was granted. However to be invisible again would be a blessing.

Just... To simply vanish...

The End

Author's Note:

I wanted Advance to be kind of different from the previous two stories. It was somewhat of an experiment that I had a lot of fun writing. I actually wrote this entire thing on a Nexus 7 Tablet to and from work, and it took around a month and a half of writing and another month prior of planning to actually finish. To be honest I kept thinking it was never going to get done and just sit there unfinished forever. A lesson I learned for myself is to never set deadlines.

Special thanks to my best friend Crash for listening to this story, re-reading it and proof reading it. You really helped me finish this thing. And of course special thanks goes to the love of my life Apple Pop for inspiring me to write again.

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Comments ( 26 )

Looks promising. I'll read the other two first so I know what's happening.

Who the heck is the pony in this last part?

It doesn't sound like anypony I'm familiar with.

2777812 Foreshadowing.

Oh. Well, that's alright, then.

Here's hoping ms. Shadowing gets more fulfilling employment soon:derpytongue2:

Third installment? I could swear that it should read 'final'. Anyway, let's read this sucker!

I really hate Sweetie Belle.

I wanna see her and that living emotional crutch of hers get taken down a few pegs, perhaps even shatter.

2778567 I kind of wanted the reader to have some resentment to Sweetie.


You did a really good job, man. I hate her so much, I can't stop thinking about this series, and what horrible shit I want to happen to Sweetie Belle.

Right now I'm thinking that since Scootaloo's life shortened, then fate isn't immutable, and Sweetie will learn this when her constant alienating of her friends causes that life counter to shorten to the point that Scootaloo dies and it's Sweetie's fault. Then she'll realize this, and feel like a complete failure because then she could have prevented this (probably, she will at least think it), and every other death, she just didn't try hard enough!



2778684 One thing that has happened to Sweetie is her power has certainly affected her, but in the wrong way. Instead of learning to deal with it, she has desensitized herself to it. Almost coming off as arrogant as you notice. Acting as if she holds all the worldly answers, which is what I was kind of going for. I kind of wanted the reader to loathe her a bit because she's just so arrogant and treats everything as if it's very black and white.

Definitely it was worth waiting for. Incredibly moving story. I'm really happy you decided to write it.

No matter how bitchy she gets, I can't being myself to ever dislike Sweetie Belle. What I would like to see, though, is for Twilight to discover the secret of her two charges, do some research and find that it's a rare magical phenomenon that can be fixed with a simple spell, and then cast it on the two. I would love to see the fallout from Sweetie Belle realizing that if she had just told someone what was wrong, this could've been over years ago. That would be glorious.

Anyway, this is a great story, but it doesn't feel very conclusive. For the "finale" of the CMC trilogy, it reads far more like a prologue to whatever you're planning next. That's fine, but try not to wait a year before you put out the next part. ;)

Keep up the good work!

2780850 Ah you figured that out. As I mentioned in my blog there is going to be a second trilogy.

I'm guessing this technological revolution didn't sit too well with your previous occupation, eh Ms. Fluttershy?

I don't blame her. Having her suddenly turn into a mare that loved life so much would be kinda jarring.

A comforting Trixie gestured to me as she sat down on the grass next to some unfortunate soul that had been lost long ago, only a stone with his name etched in it remaining on this earth.

Either Apple Bloom isn't sitting at Applejack's grave, or this is a typo. If it's a typo, and she is sitting at Applejack's grave, I wonder how much time has passed?

She's sitting at someone ELSE'S grave. It's saying that Trixie is sitting a bit away from Apple Bloom on another grave. Essentially she's giving her some distance. Apple Bloom is at her sister's grave, thus why Trixie is gesturing to her rather than just embracing her, there is some distance between them.

2798517 I think I forgot to mark that as a passage of time.

Oh ow, this whole series just hurts to read. I keep waiting for the redemption or some kind of salvation, but it just gets sadder and sadder. :fluttercry: So many potential futures taking wrong turns... I'm reminded of the Offspring song "The Kids Aren't Alright"

Still can't wait to see how this all comes together in the sequels.

2950348 Well as you could see by the ending the next story in the line has been hinted at.

Good news is that my cover artist for this story may be reprising her role as cover artist for future stories. :3

Dam can't believe I missed this for so long. Yet again you delivery and interesting an emotional read.
I thank you.

3162831 Thanks. I have been trying to get an emotional draw from these kinds of stories. How did it make you feel?

I'm calling it now. it's going to be Babs Seed.

3162834 Oh, I dunno... it was just really sad I guess. I kinda saw the ending coming as soon as I found out what was wrong, but it still kinda made me want to cry. :applecry: I'm glad it still had a positive message and stuff, though.

3171471 It is more or less kind of a story of growing up. Death happens when we get older, and Applebloom learned to cope with that fact.

3007644 Are you prepared for more? Because it's coming.

2780850 And a year later I finally approach the finish of the 5th story. Wow I am such a jackass for taking so long!

But of course.

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