• Member Since 21st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 30th, 2017

Ghosttown Brony


T
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It wasn’t Rainbow Dash’s idea of a good time, but watching the Butterfly Migration was a perfect excuse to spend time with Fluttershy. Their conflicting schedules had been forcing them apart for the past few days, and for a while the two simply enjoy each others company. But as the afternoon drags on, and thought’s that Rainbow has tried desperately to fight back begin to surface, things get out of hoof fast. A disastrous accident brings the two closer together than they have ever been before, and soon the peaceful afternoon becomes a fight for survival. This is a story of self discovery, and a confusing, but prosperous relationship between two mares.

Art by: Vexx3 on deviantart

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 222 )

First and probably only. Post

This is so unbelievably great... just... :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

2721463:yay: I'm so glad you like it! Thank you!

I loved it! can't wait for the next chapter!

It's great man, but unfortunately I have one little problem with it.
Dialogue in a story is supposed to be a whole new paragraph. For example.
"Rainbow Dash?" She said uncertainly.
"Fluttershy!" Rainbow squealed etc...
But other than that, great story, I liked the way you portrayed the characters, and I can't wait for a new chapter to come out.

2773209 Haha thanks, dialog format is difficult for me to remember and not really my strong suit. Thank you for the advice, I'll try to employ it in future chapters. I'm glad that readers seem to enjoy my story so far. Unfortunately, exams and personal stuff have been hindering my progress, but hopefully I'll have another chapter out on Friday.

I just remembered this story this morning. I'm glad to see it update. I know a lot about hectic schedules so no biggie. Whatever happens happens I guess.

Ah, ye olde hektik skedule, bane of all the authores in the worlde. I know the feeling.

Nice chapter, interesting to see how they'll get out of this one. Maybe Fluttershy will use The Stare on a passing Dragon/Griffin/Alicorn-Princess/Other Winged Creature and get them to take her and Dash to the nearest hospital.

I will make you a deal. I love this story and if you can update this just a wee bit quicker I will be glad to proof read for you. I proof read tons of stories daily just pm and we will talk.

With a heavy grunt, Rainbow used every ounce of power left in her legs to push herself off the wall, and into the open air, once her best friend, now a dangerous enemy. Her timing had to be perfect, and it was. The instant she felt the warmth of sunlight shining on her again, she threw her hooves above her, looking for any purchase in the hole above. If she missed, nothing was stopping her from plummeting fifty feet to the stony floor. Her left hoof found nothing, but her right locked onto a bit of rock just below the exit.

Some Assassins Creed's shit right there

3199382 Aw yeah! Rainbow Auditore :rainbowdetermined2:

3200073 Rainbow Kennway?
Rainbow ibn-La'Ahad :rainbowlaugh:

Hooray. update. Should have read this waaaay earlier but i was writing and (i have no idea if this happens to you, but anyway) it was one of those times when you write a part and you know if you don't finish it all right now you'll have to redo it later because you won't be in the same vein of thought if you stop and come back to it. So yeah, sorry about that.

I like this chapter, even the climbing bit. I think you're better at action-oriented scenes than you give yourself credit for.:pinkiesmile:

3204430 Haha thank you for saying so :twilightsmile: And I know exactly what you're talking about in regards to not stopping. Happens to me at least once a chapter. :pinkiesad2:

This story is getting better and better. Definitely top tier by now.
Please don't rush through the journey home, I'd really like this story to be long. :yay:

3225663 Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means to me. The amount of positive feedback I've gotten for this story has been nothing short of shocking :) and believe me, I have no intention of stopping anytime soon...

Well, they's gonna die


That was a joke

No problem I'm happy to help:pinkiehappy:

Mmm this story is becoming quite delectable mm Yes indubiously.

Chapter name=Relaxation relax is booring

Better hope that migraine ain't from the infection, otherwise bye bye Dashie :fluttercry:

3267569 There, changed it, just for you. :twilightsmile:

That perspective switch was quite nicely done. Why is it that the things you worry you've done badly are the things i praise for being well done? Anyhow, this was a great chapter, the story's becoming better each chapter. I've seen similar starting scenarios to this in other stories, but that doesn't matter because with each new chapter it becomes more and more unique. You've got something really special here.

3271719 Thank you very much for saying so :pinkiehappy: I've been having so much fun writing this, and I'm glad to see that others are enjoying it as well. The transition scene (and other scenes I so often complain about) are things that are brand new to me in my writing, and they always feel off to me. :applejackunsure: But I'm happy no one else seems to think so :yay:

I think it's pretty good so far

It is getting really good. The parts were she had to set her wing in sounded so painful, I cringed a few times. Poor Fluttershy. Poor Dash to, she holds a lot of guilt. But how tender she was while Shy was passed out was very sweet. And the kiss was cute, even if the moment was killed by Dash's injury. One thing I noticed was a lot of times you wrote the word Dash, addressing Rainbow, but had it in lower case, dash. If it's her name it should be capitalized. Nothing big though. I really like the story and how you write. I also forgot to say this last chapter, 4 hours at a butterfly migration would drive me nuts!:pinkiecrazy:

It was nice getting some of Fluttershy's perspective. How will they get out now?

Again a great chapter. I think you wrote the action very well. And the way you described Dash's injury was also so well done, I was like, "OUCH! Poor Dash." And their little romantic moments were cute. Keep it up:pinkiehappy:

The romance is turning out so cute and sweet. I love it. Then the Timberwolves came. Why do these bad things have to happen to them? :raritydespair: I really like it, and hope you keep it up, because you are doing a good job!

Enjoying this little story so far and look forward to seeing how it turns out. Found it a little amusing, maybe even odd that Fluttershy was worried about RD dying due to her infection, but didn't mind spending the entire day swimming around. Not to mention their food issue. Still aside from that lil thing it was a good chapter.

That dream sequence... i have no words to describe how that made me feel. That was SO well done, so well done. I was scared for a moment there that this was how the story ended, i was all like 'no, it can't end like this, it CAN'T'. And it didn't end like that, it was all a nightmare. That whole sequence was so bloody well done. It is an example of what those sorts of dream sequences should be like - gripping, emotional and without you being sure whether or not it's real until the character wakes up.

Well done. That was the most fantastic two minutes of abject terror i've ever experienced. :pinkiecrazy:

And don't worry, you've not put me off or anything like that. You've just proven to me more than usual that you are brilliant at writing.

And in that first sentence of them and Fluttershy..., I scrolled down past the horrors, and found the "better" part... Dang... I know your feel with the physically ill... Blech...

ANYWAY, other than that, I don't think I'd be re-reading this chapter in particular... But, I look forward to more fluffy chapters!!!

one mistake I saw(dunno bout the dream...)

The sleeping pony mumbled quietly, brining a small smile to Dash's face. She felt tears rolling down her cheeks again.

(bringing)

3276968 Wow, I can't belive I missed that :facehoof: thank you for bringing that to my attention, I'll have it fixed.

That dream sequence, why am I shaking? :rainbowderp:

3276905 Thank you for reading, glad you enjoy it :) Yeah, I bet they are getting pretty hungry :fluttercry:

3276335 Haha, it's cool to see how you felt with each chapter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :pinkiehappy:

P.S. I love your profile pic! :rainbowlaugh:

Another great chapter, and a happy one to boot. I think you did a good job. The only thing, why would Fluttershy be ok with them wasting the whole day in the water when Rainbow Dash could die from infection. But the cuteness level of the lake scene was to the max

Once the green lights were revealed, I was like, TIMBERWOLVES! As I continued to read, I was secretly hoping and begging it was a dream. Thank goodness it was. You do such a good job setting the mood and describing everything, even all the horrid bloody details. I felt fear for these ponies, you are definitely conveying what you want with each chapter. If only Luna could talk to them in a dream and send a search party! Can't wait for the next one!

Aww comeon were u really serious about not putting the less censored version? I really thought you were going to put the more evil version with a view more details that really takes u farther down.
Meh doesn't matter now that it's been published. Would have liked to see the true brutality of the timberwolves but I digress

P.S this is why your the wildcard and not muscles.

Well, this chapter was fluffy :twilightsmile: Hahaha, glad there wasn't too much going against Flutters and Dashie. those migraines Dashie has been getting, I have a feeling they are going to be a mainly important factor later in the story. Hahaha, I can't wait to find out!

Must gives more! :twilightsmile:

The feels. Should return in another chapter :)

Their interactions with each other are very well done and believable. The romantic parts were cute, Dash's camping joke was funny. How Dash felt about lying was good to. And those stupid Timberwolves, will they ever let up? It must suck getting those migraines.:pinkiesick: Hope they can pull through.

T4

Oh geez. I can sympathize with dash getting those migraines. Those are NOT pleasent :/

'Pears! I hate Pears!'

Great chapters! Loved it! Now we play the waiting game.....

Damn those two were cute this chapter. So cute, in fact, that i'm still grinning like a fool even as i write this. A really nice chapter, but with enough foreshadowing to remind us that all is not well, you struck up a great balance this time. I'm really starting to worry for Dash now, this migraine thing is worse than even she realises, i think.

Why thank u togaf :) Still don't trust me I see.

Ugh... I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you can write this kind of stuff so well, and so fast. But I love it! :twilightsmile: Hahaha. The story itself goes from happy to sad so quickly that it's hard to tell whether or not it's happy or sad, but it's always fluffy. So technically happy... Anyway great chapter, mate. Haha, I continue looking forward to them! :twilightsmile:

My emotions are...confused, I feel like crying, but also feel like squeeing uncontrollably. Darn you and your amazing writing skills :ajbemused:

Brilliant chapter.

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