(This is a one-shot)
A thousand years ago, the elements of harmony had been created. A thousand years ago, the two alicorn sisters used them together, and with their powers, encased Discord in stone. A thousand years ago, the elements of harmony locked Sombra away into the depths of ice, losing the Crystal kingdom in the process. A thousand years ago, Nightmare Moon became corrupt and was banished into her own object of desire. Nine hundred and ninety-eight years ago, Celestia met five of the six Rumors of Harm. She destroyed four. One month ago, Sombra was destroyed as well. Sombra was a Rumor of Harm: the Element of Fear. The final remnant, corrupted forever by the taint, has returned, and its powers have increased demonically after the destruction of its counterparts.
The princesses had six Elements to oppose the six Rumors, which kept balance, but removing just one grain of sand is enough to cause imbalance, and imbalance brings destruction and disharmony.
Great job on this one-shot! I really enjoyed it
This feels like something that should be continued. It ended on a short note and now I can't help but wonder what happens next. One-Shots really should end like this... You built it up then crashed it down.
Have you ever considered submitting this to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
2694999 Wait, the spelling is good enough? No typoes? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!
2694954 I know. I'm getting used to doing that again.
Don't worry. Eventually I'll develop on this, but not yet. The meat must marinate.
2694856 Spank you, Greenwall. Spank you so much.
2696922
Yes.
2698268
cdn.epicski.com/a/a7/460x328px-LL-a7f70288_impossibru_onnanoko.jpeg
2698291 Does this mean that you're not going to submit this to Equestria Daily?
2698295 I already did. It's my policy to please the readers.
2705637 N...No. It's clearly a one-shot, and I don't plan on working on it any time soon. Like you stated: I already have three out.
Well Done.
Very, very well done.
The proof of a good story is that it makes the reader want more. This does this in spades. It pulls you into itself and holds you there until the end. Then it makes you want to know what happens next. It invests the reader extremely well.
It also does something very difficult. It makes a bad guy, a villain, that the reader is rooting for. Although you know quite well, he is the bad guy, you secretly (Or in my case openly) want him to win.
This is a masterpiece of craftsmanship.
Again, well done.
The Monk
“Not telling you too much about humanity's special power, but I can give you a big hint! It is pure, concentrated spite.” -Knight Breeze
One more thing.
About it being a one shot. The questions left after the ending are important to the story. Stories like this one are similar to the Fable:" The Lady Or The Tiger." It is this great unknown that gives stories like these their power. It leaves it up to the reader to puzzle out for themselves how the story ends.
Stories like these also strike us so close to home because they are just like our everyday life. As we go throughout our day we walk into and out of other peoples stories all the time. We only get to see small moments in that story. We don't know how it started, and when we move on with our business, we don't ever learn how they end.
And this is also a source of power for this type of story.
The Monk
“There are many ways to create a monster, and the one the girl knows best is rather basic: you tell someone they're a monster over and over again, then wait to see how long it takes before they agree with you.” -Estee