- Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen March 16th
RyujinDeath
What up fellow ponies and creatures! I go by RyujinDeath, your neighborhood Dragon at your service. I like to hang with friends, gaming like League of Legends and such. Anyone want to friend me?
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Feynna · 156k words · 138 16 · 2.9k views
- Wolokai · 31k words · 107 8 · 4.7k views
- Lightning Spear · 79k words · 275 28 · 9.1k views
- Saiyan of the North Star · 63k words · 241 43 · 6.3k views
- DJ A String · 32k words · 212 34 · 3.5k views
- RyujinDeath · 9.5k words · 128 92 · 2.6k views
- DARKPHANTOM13 · 59k words · 358 28 · 13k views
- 2ndGearSage · 86k words · 1,238 60 · 20k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.154 seconds
Total duration
1,031 users online
1,961,261 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The Legendary Super Saiyan is a mad killing machine. His father tried to control him, but that ended in failure. Broly is a disturbed being beyond measure. His transformation into the Legendary Super Saiyan causes him to be uncontrollable. His personality is nothing but insanity itself. If he ever ended up in a universe other than his own, he would kill everything. No exceptions! (He would also kill everything in his own universe, No exceptions)
I will give you credit though! Not to many spelling mistakes in this chapter at all!
However, the main character appears to be OOC. Minus points.
I hope to see something from this in the near future.
2503240
I agree, Broly is not a timid person, he would waste no time in killing everything around him, no matter how much you expose him to friendship and whatnot, Broly is Broly, unless he had amnesia or something, he would go beserk.
We generally have names for people like this: Head-Cases, Loons, Psychopaths, Pinkie Pie.
I have to say though, you have my curiosity. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
2503333 I put in an extra word that shouldn't have been there, thanks for helping me find it!
Broly is an uncontrollable, unreasonable and relentless killing machine. Keep that in mind when when writing his character. The idea is rather interesting and I am interested to see where this story is going. Good luck and hope to see more soon.
You serious?
Just to let you know which I forgot to put it on. I'm making this out of character for Broly.
2503710 Not good. Abort mission!
Hmm.......I guess you all want him being mean eh? Well I'll fix it up then, and I'll change his acting then.
2503874 I wouldn't say change the way you planned the story, just keep in mind that Broly's background classifies him as a deranged genocidal maniac. If I'm reading the story right, Broly is on Equestria as a chance for reformation. If that's the case, don't make him your everyday nice guy right from the start, he's in equestria to turn his life around and that takes time.
Writing a character OOC is one thing (ex. Rainbow Dash doesn't fly everywhere because she prefers long walks every now and then). Completely trashing a character's identity is something completely different (ex. Rainbow dash is incredibly cruel to everyone she meets and wishes she was a seapony because she outright hates flying).
2504674
I didn't mean by changing the story up, but I just changed the way he talks to people and such. Since all of you guys wanted him
Broly, his power is maximum.
I went over the story again, but there's still something about this that rubs me the wrong way.
I would recommend re-watching the Broly movies (the first two, not Bio-Broly) for an idea on what Broly acts like, his personality, his insecurities, anything and everything that makes him tick. Learning such things and incorporating them into your writing will give this story the boost it definitely needs.
Afterwords, I would also recommend a rewrite of the chapter or possibly the whole story. We need background information: Why did King Yemma give Broly a second chance? What Happened? A prologue or even a small scene will go a long way to making this story make sense.
A good thing to try: plan out your story completely. You remember the diagram everyone had to make in school concerning stories? The "Plot Diagram"? Use the Plot Diagram to map out key points in your story, then just fill in the empty space between points with your story.
Hope this helps, the premise for this story is interesting and I look forward to seeing more.
why would you do this
2510227
I think the monkey-goombas guy had a very good point, you should listen to him ^^
2503874 he's only mean when he sees someone that looks like and sounds like goku, at any other time he is normal
Well damn. This is gonna be awesome.
Also, I'm with Jacob, Broly only acts like a complete dick when he sees goku or someone like him. That......... and when his life is in danger, but he snaps out of that more easily.
Doesn't sound and act like Broly I'm the show.
He was under control by his dad, but Goku's presence made broly unstable and break free.
And once that happened broly was a man that destroyed anything he wants and did what ever he wants.
Here in this fic there is nothing to control him.
Well that's what I think.
Sorry if I killed the story for ya. But I will continue reading.
r u gonna update soon?
2548472
Sorry I will update when I get a chance to. Having issues with college and all, but I'll get to it.
2555607 k
i like it
Awesome!! Continue pls
Cool story. You have my attention! I shall Like and Fav this instant!! HUZAAH!!!
its interesting....but dude....
FIX DAT GRAMMAR
This story has a good premise and I will be eagerly awaiting the next update.
I would love to see more soon.
Just putting that out there.
3061256
Oh I will when I get a chance to do it, I'm just having a little writers block for the next chapter, but you could give me some advice or offers to help out.
3080867you could have a few chapters where Broly gets to know everypony all the while blowing stuff up. just a thought.
3438225
I know, I know, but it would be to quick to just blow the place up like it was some time bomb.
2519705 and how do you explain the flash back with Broly as a child destroying planets and puching paragus in the eye taking it out
Brolys legendary super saiyan form is 9 foot 3 and his other forms are 7 foot 5 normal and 7 foot 8 super saiyan
and ffs update soon
I want more of this!
It is stories like this that make me want to press the like button for hours on end
4159371
I might start it right back up, but I haven't got the spark or motivation to keep going. So I need some type of spark if I wanted to continue with this story.
4162913 I'll get the jumper cables.
4163476
As I would say Living hell or more Like I'll show you a living hell.
I can just see rainbows reaction to that end now.
Broly is awesome I like this story to continue! I mean think of the possibilities of broly being a good guy in equestria
Broly all the way I can't wait to see what happens next I hope you write more of this story please it's getting very interesting to read it has my full attention now keep up the good work update more soon
I think broly should be causes of the mane 6 don't want the to know he is power craze and don't get turn in to stone mabe meet the princess and befriend luna and fight discord I hope my idea help there is so many ways you can go with this story.