Hey all. Sorry my stuff's taking a while, I've been down lately. I lost my job a few weeks back and it kinda hit me hard. That being said, the update for one and the possible beginning of another is coming.
I don't know how to explain it... I guess It feels like emptiness mixed with loneliness. It's like I'm missing something in my life. Today I went to work, feeling alright. I was talking to my Co workers and everything was fine, But right when I got home, All these feels started to get to me for some reason. I also don't feel like doing what I love everyday when I get home from work(Video games, Youtube.) I'm just not feelin' it tonight I guess. It feels like I need to cry, but I don't...
Four years old with my back to the door
All I could hear was the family war
Your selfish hands always expecting more
Am I your child or just a charity ward?
You have a hollowed out heart
But it's heavy in your chest
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless
Hopeless, you're hopeless
Oh, father, please, father
I'd love to leave you alone
But I can't let you go
Oh, father, please, father
Put the bottle down
Well shit here we go again. Maybe i really should go see a shrink. Cause what I've been doing hasn't been working. But then again? What good is talking to a doctor going to do? They can listen. But all they'll do to "help" is tell you shit you already know or put you on drugs. I don't want either of those and I'm cool smoking pot. Though the fact still remains? I suffer because of my depression. My writing suffers. My Youtube channel suffers. My mood suffers.
I don't want to say I speak for everyone. I don't think I can even speak for anyone else. I just want to share what depression is to me.
It's not just feeling sad. It isn't about having pain. Being alone is only a small part.
Depression is a hole. It's a pit. Walls so steep there is no purchase. A bottom so deep no light reaches it.
It's been three weeks since my family and I moved back to Houston and things are not going great. Right now my mom and I are having a difficult time trying to adjust our new home and my dad is doing everything he can to support our family since he's the only who's working. My sisters on the other hand are not giving a damn about the situation since they are always on their phones all day. And since I lost my job back in Austin, I can't do anything to help my parents out with the bills. But
So sad right now.
I even changed my avatar.
Fire Donnie Nelson.
I don't care if it wasn't your fault Donnie, someone needs to take the fall.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, what am I doing with me life. Fool me four times, lets just end it already.
#FreeDirk
It's been a full year since I lost my dad, as of Yesterday (07/23/23). I honestly was numb the entire day. Like my mind couldn't cope with that many emotions and trying to comprehend the reality of death just was too much for my brain yesterday. Therefore the numbness and lack of talking. Also why I was offline yesterday. I only cried 1 time yesterday, not long after I woke up. The rest of the day was numbness and the occasional phone call/message from a relative on his side of my family. Still
I'm sorry to say this. It's not anybody's fault. It's just that I'm in a bit of a depressive state. I don't want to project my feelings onto others or manipulate anybody when I say this, but I've made a lot of mistakes and screw-ups today and I don't think that I'm ever going to improve no matter what I do, because I personally think that all I ever do is mess things up and ruin others' lives. You don't have to feel bad for me or anything. I just need your opinion on whether I should or
So I've discovered if you put fresh cut up broccoli at the bottom of a deep but medium small plastic bowl then cover it with torn up a couple times large bits of sourdough bread, then frozen chicken pre-sliced precooked, then a generous but not gratuitous layer of fresh I.E needs to be refrigerated Parmesan cheese, maybe a little bit of dried onions and garlic and some barbecue sauce, and put it in the microwave for 5 minutes, it's fucking delicious and the waters and oils in the other products
Though I just posted a new story, I still won't be writing for a while. Probably not until we get a new Discord episode, and probably only if I'm inspired by it. I didn't really get the writing bug from What About Discord?
I've been wanting to write a Sunset series for a while now. She and Luna are the two characters I identify most with.
I want to write Sunset's story, the way I see it. To me, after EQ1, she's a broken and scared girl. She's had her entire life ripped apart, her whole world view was shattered by Princess Twilight and her friends. She feels horrible about what she did. In her, I see a bit of a kindred spirit. I've been through serious depression, and I'm still healing.
Hey guys, i'm back; lately i have been battling a horrid case of depression and had just been released from a local mental health hospice. And at the behest of my Dr, he says its helpful to my state to keep writing. And i intend to do just that.
NO SEARCH ENGINES ALLOWED
NO LOOKING AT PREVIOUS COMMENTS FOR ANSWERS.L
MY ANSWERS IN PARENTHESES
-Your #1 Song Ever? (Tomorrow's Kings, Dragonforce)
-Favorite Theme? (Opening: Rewrite, FMA Ending: Shunkan Sentimental, FMAB)
-Better, Dr. Pepper or Coke? (DACTAH PEPPAH)
-The answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?
-The cheapest Shotgun in Destiny?
-The Villan's name in Don't Starve?
-Your Best Creation? (Uhh... I made a origami dragon once.)
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