A new Series from Me · 8:21pm May 5th, 2018
I've been wanting to write a Sunset series for a while now. She and Luna are the two characters I identify most with.
I want to write Sunset's story, the way I see it. To me, after EQ1, she's a broken and scared girl. She's had her entire life ripped apart, her whole world view was shattered by Princess Twilight and her friends. She feels horrible about what she did. In her, I see a bit of a kindred spirit. I've been through serious depression, and I'm still healing.
That's what I want to write for her. A story of healing. But depression isn't something you ever fully heal from. The pain stays with you for the rest of your life, whether it's from loss or anger. You're not just better one day. You can't just shake it off. All you can do is get better at managing it. Get better at living again. It takes time, and it hurts, and there are days when it feels like it isn't worth it.
That's what I want to write. Both because I think it will be a beautiful story, one of pain, grief, and living with it, but more so because in many ways, it is my story. I need to write this. I need to share what I went through, what depression is for me. Despite all my talent and skill at writing, I've always struggled to explain what it's like to people. I don't know if it's even possible to describe depression, true world crushing depression, to someone who hasn't experienced it themselves. I think it's like trying to explain color to someone who was blind from birth. It simply doesn't make sense.
But through Sunset, I can tell my story. I can let you in to a little piece of my mind. I can share some of what it is to be depressed.
The story I tell through her is the story of my own pain. I know depression is different for everyone, so this is just my story. It won't be exact, she has such a different life than I did. But through her, I think I can share some of the pain I went through. The pain of not feeling like you have anyone. The emptiness of losing your way in life. The agony of loving someone and having a mind that won't stop expecting the absolute worse. The fear that the one you love most, the one you need more than any other, will leave you.
I don't have a particular plan or order to the stories that will be coming out. I've only got one more written. I don't know if they'll be in any kind of order, or if I'll jump around. But I'm going to write this, because it's part of my healing. It's one step for me, one of thousands I will take.
I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but I've never had anything as bad as what you're saying you went through. I can't imagine what that feels like. All I know is that I'm sorry it happened to you, and I hope you've found yourself in better days recently.
I think you should absolutely write that. I hope to read it.