I know I've been all "doom and gloom" lately, and I'd like to apologize for that. I know it's annoying to have other people's misery shoved onto you.

Basically what happened is my antidepressants stopped working one day, and then I randomly decided to go on an anti-medication rebellion, which turned out to be a super bad idea (I even ditched my allergy meds, so now I'm in really bad physical shape as well).

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Hey guys, I'm kinda feeling blue and kinda don't really know what to other than quietly sulk and make my crazy worse. Just a general chat, I'll answer some questions about really anything, I'm kinda open to whatever there is. Even if it's about my religion or what I consider a religion. It's different from anything anyone really seems to understand, but I'm also a practitioner of Wicca and Witchcraft. Again, if you'd like to skype, I'll be open for the next 30 min but then I'll just be speaking

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I've been debating on whether I should write this or not. Eh, I'm bored, plus another YouTuber I watch has come out about depression. Might as well share it too.

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I've hit record low. For the first time in a while, self-harm and suicide have actually crossed my mind. I'm constantly reminded about how slow my progress in life is and no one seems to understand me. Even my parents don't believe I have a plan for my future simply because I can't give them a straight answer for everything. So why bother? My entire life has either been spent being a sponge for everyone's frustrations or making some kind of mistake or the other. Is that kind of life truly worth

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As the title says, I´m on new meds now. Away from simple SSRI anti-depressants, to something for depression, PTSD, sozial anxiety, anxiety attacks and OCD. They have 50mg and until the next appointment I gotta take a half. I am not going into detail as to why. Simply because it´s not something I want to post openly on the internet. (You´re probably gonna hear about it through stories anyways..)

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Hello, it's me again. The hack who writes Sundown for you fine folks. Sorry that this one took so long to do and that it is shorter than what I said it'd be, but then originally it had a lengthy flashback instead of two short ones. Thank you all for sticking with me through this all. I appreciate it more than I can express. I should stop rambling and just move onto the bit where I explain my reasoning for the chapter.

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Hello all! Welcome to the second of these blogs about Sundown and the logic I am using for it. I am so pleased that so many people have read Sundown. I am a bit overwhelmed at how many people are giving it attention. I almost shied away and hid! Thank you so much!

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For those who are following me now, I wish to explain why you are seeing this particular wall of text again. After a comment I believed it was for the best if I moved the explaination of the events to somewhere optional rather than stick it on the bottom of the story itself. I will not tag the blog with Sundown however, so only those of you who follow me should see each one of these. They will always be paired with a chapter.

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For years now I've felt the best of my writing is behind me, as my ADHD, depression, and anxiety plus general personal shittyness have continued to keep me barely functioning and certainly not thriving. I look back and I used to actually sometimes write good stories. I've always written shitfics, but it used to be I'd write more than just shitfics. Now it seems that's all I can write. And it makes me sad.

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Back again! And I am very glad to say that my mental state has improved beyond belief. My counseling is going very well. I have had no suicidal thoughts for months. Homicidal thoughts are still there, but they are much less frequent.

I have fantastic friends who are always there to support me. And I am happy.

But that's not to say I'm not still having problems. I am very depressed (I'm taking serotonin, a dose of 100mg as of now) and very anxious.

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I'm not sure if there is anything anyone can do but I feel I might as well say something somewhere

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I am currrently banging my head against all the walls, including the fourth one. Although I don't know if Pinkie minds it....
What am I talking about, I don't care.
Merry Sew definitely doesn't mind, she's as dumb as--
Hey, I heard that!
Awe, damn... here she comes...

[Shut down the system]
Now where was I? Oh, yea, right.
I am getting bored of writing aascar. I've written only 2000 words in twelve days, if not less.

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I'm feeling depressed, guys. About my life. And stuff.
So this morning, I was just sitting on the couch, wearing my geeky Zelda\Pony tshirt (I got it people!) and thinking about my life.
NTS: Never think about my life again.

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I failed. I wanted a job here, but now I have no choice but to move back.

I don't want to.

But, I saw it coming from a long ways away.

The last little bit of my spirit is crushed. My urge to write is gone.

All my thoughts now revolve around one thing:

I cannot claim my own happiness.

I'll never be able to.

From getting kicked out of the only internet group I've been in, to being unable to fill out an application without shutting down.

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Considering what has been happening and what I've seen with a lot of my friends here I feel the need to talk about this. After all everyone has been there, even me. This will be my perspective about this controversial topic so I invite you to come inside the mind.

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Depressive stuff below

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I need input on my story chapter and help this is what I got so far

I stopped myself from doing it, from committing suicide. But it didn't only leave me alive, it also left two police officers dead. I killed them, shot them both. This was not supposed to happen. Doctors testified that I was having a psychosis, which means that my punishment won't be too hard for me to bear.

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I'm thrilled to announce that “Each Small Step” has been chosen for a Royal Canterlot Library feature! In addition to talking about the story, they also did an interview (my first ever ). It’ll be posted on Fimfiction on Friday, but you can read it right now on their website

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