The Quickening: Depression · 2:44pm Aug 3rd, 2016

Considering what has been happening and what I've seen with a lot of my friends here I feel the need to talk about this. After all everyone has been there, even me. This will be my perspective about this controversial topic so I invite you to come inside the mind.

We know sadness is an important part of our life and we can't deny or control it (Inside Out taught this topic) but sometimes it gets out of control. There are times when we feel down for an event that affected our life in a way permanently. You feel trapped in a box, you can't escape from this vortex, you can't do more things and in some ways you're starting to believe you can't get out of there.

Many people say that you have to talk to people about this to feel better, my dad says to do exercise or workout so the adrenaline can make you feel better. But what happens when you don't want to know anything? You only want to be alone even if you are conscious that's not going to work. You know what you have to do but you don't care anyway. From failure to not feeling yourself useful, from end a relationship to losing someone you love, it's hard not to get in the darkness. The "stay in bed all day" or "saying 'my life sucks, I want to kill myself' thing" are not always true but a depressive person is very unpredictable. He/she can be gone instantly and then the person who tried to save him/her yells "I should have talked to him/her more", because an intent here doesn't work. You only have one, one opportunity to change things.

Depression is a shadow that never leaves even when there's no light. Depression is like an evil person beating you down over and over. Depression is that instance you believe you don't belong to this world. Depression is that moment when you look upon the stars and question your role on the planet.

It follows you as you try to run and hide, but it always finds you. It drowns you and you feel that you can't breathe. But you're still alive. You feel yourself try to swim to the top but it pulls you down. Maybe you don't suffer from depression but maybe someone else you care about does. You want to help but what can you do? You can't say "I understand you" when you don't. No one will ever understand other than themselves. Just be there for them. Because if your not,...well...I don't think it'll be a good ending.

I'll be serious here: I try to kill myself after I left college for the first time, I wanted to be a zoologist since I was 4 years old but I couldn't reach my goal. Whether because of cowardice or life had other plans for me I couldn't shot myself, it took me a long time to realize that. I still have this monster around me (and probably will have it until the end of my days) but it has its own cage right now. I believe my punishment from even thinking about killing myself is to be an "living undead which God forgot to take him to heaven in the right time and has to wait the calling and in the meantime enjoy his time in this world."

Remember this: If there's at least one, ONE life who cares about you reconsider this. When you find someone who loves you with all your faults and imperfections without trying to change you that's all the happiness you need.

From Scribbler, I give you this beautiful poem as a finish point. Leave your comments.