You think you know this story. You don't. One night at Berry Punch's bar, two jilted ponies strike up a conversation over some hard cider. The rest is drunken history.

Approved by Twilight's Library!

A story lovingly ripped off from the Futurama episode of the same name.

Twilight gathers the girls to her basement to reveal her latest invention. Unfortunately, they get distracted by another of her inventions: the 'What If" machine, a device capable of answering any 'what if' question posed to it. Follow along as the mane six discover the improbable scenarios that could have been their lives.

Trixie just wants a little attention. Male attention, in particular. However, considering her winning personality, unique charm, and social grace... physical appeal is really the only option she has left. And Trixie wouldn't be Trixie if she didn't try to fudge things a little bit in her favor.

And it wouldn't be Trixie's life if the universe didn't inexplicably conspire to ensure all of her efforts ended in failure and great personal embarrassment.

Warning: Contains breast expansion for comedic effect; humanized ponies; pervy Rainbow Dash; Twixie; an extremely juvenile sense of humor; and Trixie's endless misfortune, also for comedic effect.

What happens when you discover that your most private of sanctuaries is no longer there? Two beings, one man and one pony, learn just that when they find that their bathrooms are no longer their own. How do these beings handle this strange occurrence and will they let it get in their way?

Since This isn't my bathroom! did so well and I was told by many to do more, I have transformed this into a short series where one poor man will be subjected to more room swaps than should ever happen. Yes, the first addition to the bathroom is the kitchen..

The mane six, tired of the same old same old, decide to get some new firmware installed in their Elements of Harmony with disastrous results.
...
Oh, wait. I mean "technologically advanced" results.

Scansion has a problem. The poems that flow from his pen at night are the most beautiful he's ever written, but he doesn't remember writing them. Drawn ever-deeper into an exchange of letters with a voice that speaks only through his work, he must discover the truth: Is the lonely, recently-returned goddess of the night reaching out to him in the only way she can, or is he chasing shadows?

* Now with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony! *
* Chinese translation: 女神 (Thou Goddess) by 卷耳 (estiMaDashie)! *

Holy crap you guys. What have I unleashed? Here's a sample of the word-of-mouth blogstorm that drove it to the feature box out of nowhere:
"This is the best thing I've read in a long time." –Bad Horse (rated: sitewide Top 10)
"'Thou Goddess' is magical and transcendent all the way through." –Skywriter
"[P]oetic beauty. There is scarcely a height of acclaim I would not believe it deserves." –Causal Quill (rated: sitewide Top 10)
"[C]hock full of splendid poetry … a jaw-dropping piece of prose and one of the best fics I have ever had the privilege to read." –Present Perfect (rated: sitewide Top 15)
"I shall keep this brief, because I must finish weeping before lunch is over. This is gorgeous, and has utterly deserved every accolade it has received." –Blue_Paladin42 (rated: sitewide Top 5)

Winner of AugieDog's "Nocturnes" Luna story contest! | Featured on EqD!

Further reviews:
"This is a remarkable fic, beautifully written ... quite simply, dazzling." –Louder Yay (rated: ★★★★)

If the title sounds grammatically incorrect, please read this.

Raising the sun isn't an easy job. Celestia knows that better than anypony. It requires vision and creativity, and she can only do her best work when the inspiration strikes her.

But, as is true with all good art, nobody else cares about that.

Twilight Sparkle has finally perfected a device allowing ponies to speak to each other over great distances. Unfortunately, the first call she receives is from Pinkie. Things go downhill from there.

When a freak science experiment at Twilight's library zaps Rainbow Dash with temporary aphasia, it's up to Applejack to get her a cure.

Princess. The highest and most important title that can be given to a pony in Equestria. Here princesses are the final word in the country's leadership. Their decisions affect the lives of all who live within the borders of the nation. For the past year, the four rulers have gathered in the unassuming town of Ponyville for meetings of the highest secrecy and order.

If the ponies of Equestria knew what really happened behind these doors, they would probably switch to democracy.