Sonata stumbles upon a little video while browsing the internet. What follows requires an incredible amount of scrubbing and therapy to repair for all parties involved.

Sonata vector from mixiepie.
Edited by Tired Old Man

When the gym class teacher breaks her leg during a martial arts session, Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna have to turn to someone they didn't want to turn to from the beginning.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.

Rated 'TEEN!(?)'
Expect swearing. Lots and LOTS of swearing, and also sexual humour.
Set within the Equestria Girls universe. Set before events of Sunset Shimmer's downfall.

Lightning Dust wakes up late, to another grey, gloomy day. She's cold and tired, and she's never felt so terrible in her life. But really, all she needs is to get back into a routine, or to see her friends, or to sleep a little bit longer... then she'll be fine.

Really.

Inspiration.

"Jesus, man."
—TheAspiringWriter93

"I'm sad now. Like.. you don't even know."
—thedarkprep

Dramatic reading by Limey Reads

When the Bearers race forth from Ponyville on an official mission, somepony has to take over on their day jobs. For Fluttershy, that's usually Snowflake.

But he's not available right now, so today, it's going to be a Sherman tank.

Don't worry. I'm sure nopony will ever notice the difference.

(Inspired by this story. Rated MC for MetaCrack.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

And here's a reading!

A prophecy leads the Imperium of Mankind to deploy a Deathwatch team deep inside the Warp. Soon they encounter Equestria and the "Six Blessings" it harbors. How will ponykind react to the fierce and grim protectors of humanity? The two sides will need to find common ground, and fast: a new threat has arrived in Equestria, and they will stop at nothing to see this fragile alliance destroyed...

A Warhammer 40,000 crossover. Special thanks to csimadmax for creating the cover.

Twilight accidentally steps on a snail. This makes her sad. As the years go on, several other things happen.

I thought this was my first story rated 'everyone', but it isn't. It kind of is though? Anyway.

Pinkie Pie has always served admirably as the Element of Laughter, and it's time for the princesses to show their appreciation. In fact, they have a special assignment for her, something they've never tried. It will be the best surprise she ever had.

Third-place winner in the /fic/ write-off "The First Time."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Thanks to Scott "Inquisitor" M for critique of my rough draft.

After a long day of flight practice with Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash discovers the filly knows next to nothing about preening and takes it upon herself to teach her.

Warning: May Contain Feels and/or D'aww moments.

Featured on FIMFiction on 7/20/2013. Yay!
Featured on EQDaily on 09/12/2013 Double Yay!
Reading by TheLostNarrator (excellent!): Here
Reading by DRWolf: Here
Reading by Joehighlord: Here
Riffed by Draklox: Here
Korean Translation: Here
Spanish Translation: Here
French Translation: Here
Chinese Translation: Here