Choose Your One-Shot: vote for tomorrow's short story posting now. · 8:05pm Feb 21st, 2017
Here we go again.
I feel like doing a mostly-unconnected piece of possible-fluff, but I'm not sure which bit of cotton to waft in the general direction of the garbage can. So as with the last time, I'm going to list the ideas. You rank them from first to last MVP style, with the story you want to see most getting four points, the second-place idea receiving three, and so on until the last-place concept gets one point. (Right: there's just four this time.) Voting runs through noon EST tomorrow, and highest total wins. All followers are eligible to vote, you can only vote once, and you can yell at people in criticism of their own vote more or less forever because America.
Once I know which concept won, I'll go to work on that story tomorrow right after the voting deadline expires, with the goal of having it up before midnight. Now whether that part works...
As for the pieces from the last vote -- I can tell you that Natural Conductors will be the next to appear, but I'm holding it back so that ideally, it'll go up just about concurrently with a Triptych chapter.
Here's the candidates. All stories are pretty much Slice Of Life.
Haunted Hayride
This one stems from a throwaway line in Six Ponies & One Corpse, which said Applejack hosts one every year. For those who haven't seen a real one, you pay to be loaded into a haycart, which is then pulled around a farm at night -- one which has been set up to scare the occupants. For humans, the worst thing is generally the hours spent in getting all the hay off your body afterwards, along with silent prayers that everything was tick-free. In the case of our ponies, Big Mac hauls the cart on Nightmare Night, and the whole family tries to set up the arrangements. But in this case, they're working a little harder, because Rainbow recently decried the whole thing. How could ponies ever be scared by anything as stupid and boring and same-old-same-old as what the Apples put together every year?
So now we have a dare in place. Rainbow is going to take on the Hayride. If she screams or takes off from the cart once, she loses. And so many ponies have an emotional investment in making sure she loses hard...
The Bounce Test (title subject to change)
Remember when I threatened to formally bring Flash Sentry into the 'verse unless I saw multiple unrealistically high Patreon pledges?
In theory, it's not quite too late to stop this, but let's acknowledge it's going to happen anyway. (Depending on the vote.)
This story puts us back in the Empire sometime after the events of PNCO, and formally establishes Flash's role as a rookie Guard who exists on the perpetual edge of being fired and shipped back to Equestria, which he's convinced would take place through tying him to the front of the train. It's about doing a job which you're still not sure you're suited for, and settling into a place where you can't truly fit in. Flash believes everything he does leads to mistakes, every mistake brings him that much closer to losing his job, and he's not even sure why he has that job in the first place. He's certainly not sure how much longer he's going to have it. And to make matters worse, he's just been given the latest in his series of always-about-to-end temporary assignments (which stem from Shining Armor struggling to find anything which might work): one of Sombra's old workshops was just uncovered, and someone has to clean it out. Literally someone, because the magical aspects of the traps are set up to detect ponies -- but luckily for the local Empire, they've got a resident who won't trigger them. All Flash has to do is watch from a distance and make sure nothing happens.
Flash Sentry and Iron Will.
Flash may get fired today. Or just fried.
Horsefeathers! (or: I'll Say She Isn't)
One of the little things Good For All Princess Labor did was establish that some version of the Marx Brothers exists in Equestria. (And given the current state of technology in the nation, it also makes sense that at least for now, vaudeville yet survives.) Celestia appreciates a good joke, and Luna -- well, she has a sense of humor, and the local version is doing her best to move forward. But she's not quite used to all the changes in entertainment. Celestia still has to drag her to operas (although that's more of a personal taste issue), and when it comes to the base levels of slapstick...
It was just supposed to be a night out at the theater, taking in the premiere of a show. But when you perform in front of Luna, you should be aware that the audience is not above speaking her mind during the performance. The younger of the Diarchy has opinions. Criticisms, perhaps. And when the Canterlot citizenry catches on to that, Luna effectively becomes the city's newest, most influential critic -- and once she realizes what's going on, embraces the role.
Those who are still trying to understand the current culture may not be the best qualified to comment on the results.
Barnyard Barge-Ins
With Hearth's Warming Eve approaching, Mr. Rich is looking for a new promotion. He never wants to take all the business in a settled zone, but he does have to make sure a certain percentage comes his way -- and as Ponyville is the flagship store, he tends to try the newest ideas right under his own snout, so he can keep an eye on the results. The holiday is looming, the peak sales time has to be maximized -- and so Mr. Rich, in his attempt to create something new, invents Equestria's first-ever version of Black Friday.
Every last tenth-bit of it.
Let's just say he's only going to do it once.
Cleanup on Aisle Everywhere.
[/hr]
Commence voting.
The Bounce Test, definitely.
Barnyard Barge-Ins
4431345
4431348
Both of you: look at the voting rules again. Your ballot goes as:
#1. My Favorite (4 points)
#2. Just Behind That (3 points)
#3. If It Wins, I May Not Unsubscribe (2 points)
#4. Dear Sweet Pony Gawds, What Is This Abomination? (1 point.)
Don't make me sic three million New Hampshire-to-Maine bus riders on you.
From most wanted to least:
Horsefeathers
Bounce Test
Haunted Hayride
Barnyard Barge-Ins
The Bounce Test
Horsefeathers
Barnyard Barge-Ins
Haunted Hayride
Mind you, they all sound fun.
1. I'll Say She Isn't /Horsefeathers!
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. The Bounce Test
But they all look funny and good imo. Definitely best > better > good rather than any being bad.
I'm going with either Barnyard Barge-ins or The Bounce Test. Horsefeathers sounds good too.
That's... a very difficult choice. Here goes...
1: Haunted Hayride
2: Horsefeathers!
3: The Bounce Test
4: Barnyard Barge-Ins.
4431351
Sorry
1) Barnyard Barge-Ins
2) Horsefeathers!
3) Haunted Hayride
4) The Bounce Test
1. Barnyard Barge-ins
2. Horsefeathers
3. Haunted Hayride
4. The Bounce Test
4431351
Sorry.
1: The Bounce Test
2: Horsefeathers! (or: I'll Say She Isn't)
3: Barnyard Barge-Ins
4: Haunted Hayride
Horsefeathers
Bounce Test
Barnyard Barg-ins
Haunted Hayride
1: The Bounce Test
2: Barnyard Barge-Ins
3: Haunted Hayride
4: Horsefeathers!
1. Horsefeathers
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. The Bounce Test
1. The Bounce Test
2. Barnyard Barge-ins
3. Horsefeathers
4. Haunted Hayride
horsefeathers
Haunted hayride
Bounce test
Barnyard barge-ins
1) The Bounce Test
Because...I was in exactly the same situation as Flash Sentry, not even a month ago. It was horrible. It was painful. The creeping paranoia, the "I know I'm a fuckup, but am I fucking up in not asking for advice or do I ask for advice and show how much of a fuckup I am?"
I didn't think you could possibly make me empathize with him.
2)Horsefeathers! (or: I'll Say She Isn't)
Just because I want to see pop culture in Equestria backslide a millennium.
3) Barnyard Barge-Ins
Maybe we'll get a cameo from Diamond?
4) Haunted Hayride
I've never given you a downvote, and I seriously doubt I'll give you one in the future. Still...
1. The Bounce Test
"So, what's the catch?" Flash looked at the ominous doorway, then back up at the muscular minotaur, then back at the doorway, trying to see what had to be waiting to eat him or mangle him.
"No catch at all," bellowed Iron Will at a volume that Flash could feel brushing the hairs on his ears back against his neck. "Just need you to watch somebody for me while I'm in there. Hey, Tic-Tak!" A small minotaur poked her nose in from the other room, and looked up at the tall form of Iron Will with an adoring gaze that could only be explained by close relativity. "Keep an eye on the rookie for me, wouldja?"
"I suppose," said Flash in a rather uncertain tone. "I really didn't expect to be foalsitting."
"Not you." Iron Will jabbed a finger in the direction of the small minotauran calf, who with the pink bow tied behind her stubbly little horns and her big, brown eyes seemed the model of cuteness and delicacy. "You're in charge while I'm gone, Tic. Try not to break anything. Uh. Or anypony," he added before vanishing into the dark doorway.
(edit)
2. Horsefeathers
3. Barnyard
4. Hayride
(slinks away, properly chastised for not following directions)
4431431
And. The. Other. Three?
I have a thousand government ballot investigators who've been waiting to do anything for a month, and I'm not afraid to use them. Mostly because it'll get them out of my living room.
They ate all my chocolate.
1) The Bounce Test
2) Haunted Hayride
3) Barnyard Barge-Ins
4) Horsefeathers
1: Horsefeathers.
2: Bounce Test
3: Haunted Hayride
4: Barnyard Barge-ins
4431433
Yeah, but with you, there's always the chance that you're just trying to fill out your monthly Not Recommended quota.
1)The Bounce Test
2)Horsefeathers
3)Barnyard Barge-Ins
4)Haunted Hayride
1) Horsefeathers!
2) Barnyard Barge-Ins
3) The Bounce Test
4) Haunted Hayride
All of them sound fun, though.
4431440
Oh come now, if I wanted to do that, I'd just read stories.
1. Haunted Hayride
2. Horsefeathers!
3. Barnyard Barge-ins
4. The Bounce Test
1 Horsefeathers! because your world building is amazing and your Luna isn't dour and depressing
try not acting scared would be fun
2 Barnyard Barge-ins: see above and flower trio activities would be interesting to see on something like Black Friday
3 Haunted Hayride because seeing
4 Bounce Test, because seeing him get humiliated would be fun
Yes, l put reasons because up because you should too
1. The Bounce Test
2. Horsefeathers (Or I'll Say She Isn't)
3. Haunted Hayride
4. Barnyard Barge-Ins
1) Barnyard Barge-in. I've wanted a Filthy Rich story from you for a while.
2) Horsefrathers. More Luna is rarely a bad thing.
3) Haunted Hayride. 'Dash gets a comeuppance fics are usually fun.
4) Bounce Test. I'm still unsure of this characterisation of Flash.
1) Bounce Test, or Flash Sentry is finally interesting.
2) Haunted Hayride, or We get to torture Rainbow Dash!
3) Horsefeathers, or I'm going to find as many references to Channel Awesome as I can, even though most are likely not intentional.
4) Barnyard Barge-ins, or A story that comments on how people obsess over things by having ponies obsess even more. Again.
Seriously can't wait to see Flash Sentry. I can't wait to see him become interesting.
1. Horsefeathers! (more Luna, plz, always)
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. The Bounce Test
...although, really, I'd have numbered those 1,1,2,2 if I could have.
1. Bounce Test.
2. Horsefeathers.
3. Barnyard Barge-ins.
4. Haunted Hay Ride.
Oooh! Been a while since I participated in a functional democracy.
1. Bounce Test - your minor characters are always so fleshed out; I'd really love to see your take on Flash and Iron Will
2. Horsefeathers
3. Haunted Hay Ride
4. Barnyard Barge-Ins
But... I want to read all of those!
...
*gives each 2,5 points*
1. Barnyard Barge-Ins - I've worked too many black Fridays myself to not put this first.
2. Horsefeathers and The Bounce Test tie here, both seem wonderfully entertaining. 2.5 points each?
4. Haunted Hayride - just not an appealing concept to me.
1. Horsefeathers!
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. Bounce Test
4431566
Not counting it.
1. Haunted Hayride
2. Horsefeathers
3. The Bounce Test
4. Barnyard Barge-ins
1. Horsefeathers
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. The Bounce Test
1. The Bounce Test
2. Haunted Hayride
3. Barnyard Barge-ins
4. Horsefeathers
1. Bounce Test
2. Haunted Hayride
3. Horsefeathers
4. Barnyard Barge-Ins
1. Barnyard Barge-ins
1. Barnyard Barge-Ins: I always do enjoy your works regarding the question of customer service and retail in Equestria, whether it be with poor Gerard Gristle, with Rarity's continual feud with the Death Words, or even something so straightforward as a mention or two of Barneigh's. It's even better when what seems to be a simple plan fails, like in cases like Luna's Lottery Lunacy.
2. Horsefeathers!: Luna's sharpened tongue is always great for a laugh! I can just imagine her becoming a one-mare Waldorf and Statler.
3. The Bounce Test: Dunno if it's just me, but Flash in the position of the almost-permanent private makes me chuckle.
4. Haunted Hayride: Hmm, I wonder if this will be a good opportunity for Rarity to get back at a certain pegasus for a night in a tree?
I'd be happy to read any of these, and I hope I get to read the rest of them at some point in the future.
As to Barnyard Barge Ins, you need new products to enhance sales. Might I suggest Edible Underwear (a real thing)?
For Bounce Test. IIRC, you haven't done much with the Guard. There've been a couple of stories (Crystal Wishes, for instance) but over all it's a neglected field
1. The Bounce Test
2. Barnyard Barge-ins
3. Haunted Hayride
4. Horsefeathers
I wonder what's gonna win... I'm thinking Horsefeathers, but I don't get the concept enough to like it...
I do want to see Flash Sentry though, 'cause that sounds interesting, as well as how Rainbow Dash is gonna be scared, or even if she is.
Well, I want to see how (herd) mentality affects Black Friday... It sounds like it'll be similar to Luna's Lottery Lunacy, but possibly not, depending on how it goes...
1. The Bounce Test
2. Barnyard Barge-Ins
3. Horsefeathers!
4. Haunted Hayride
1. Horsefeathers
2. The Bounce Test
3. Haunted Hayride
4. Barnyard Barge-Ins
To my mind, just the concept of anything similar to Black Friday would cause an otherworldly resonance resulting in unwholesome ghasts and the unquiet spirits of broken-legs-yet-to-come wafting around any business which considers such an event.
Does it have to be from fear or can Rainbow Dash be lured off of the cart by the most comfortable-looking bed imaginable?
Bounce Test 4pts
Barnyard Barge-Ins 3pts
Horsefeathers! 2pts
Hayride 1pt
Bring on the awesome.
1. The Bounce Test: Because I am torn between laughing at Flash's suffering, and praying for his soul.
2. Barnyard Barge-ins: The insanity and mayhem of Black Friday, channeled through the depth-less stupidity of the equestrian herd instinct. Filthy does not deserve this.
3. Horsefeathers!/I'll Say She Isn't: Luna is going to ruin so many lives. This shouldn't make me grin, but it does.
4. Haunted Hayride: I don't have anything witty to say this one, but if you write it, I can guarantee an upvote and favorite.
I'm glad you do these voting blogs. It might not mean much, but it's nice to get my opinion out likes this