Now is the winter of my discontent · 1:03pm Mar 20th, 2023
There's not really any summer coming, so let's talk about writing.
A few days ago, I took an online quiz.
You know. One of those silly things made up by some Tumblr teen that don't actually mean anything and yet we can't help ourselves wanting to either classify or learn more about ourselves, even if it's "What flavor of Subway condiment are you?"
Specifically, what emotion you 'write from', which is not a subject I can really say I've ever heard discussed before. So I was intrigued, and I took it. And my answer?
Discontent.
Now, this is, again, I must reiterate, I must repeat myself ad nauseam, absolutely meaningless on its surface. This is not some scientific experiment, this is just one person's opinion. There's no way to know what qualifications they may or may not have in order to make this determination. I may as well have asked someone to read my fortune.
But see, the thing about fortune tellers is, their shtick works because if you throw enough generalities at a person while telling them these are actually specifics, that person will put them together in their mind and come up with their own meaning. And, yes, sometimes that can lead to really wrong conclusions, but...
The point is, that answer maked sense to me. Half the stories I've written here exist because I saw someone write something in a way I didn't like, so I was gonna do it better, goddammit. The ones with the Random tag came about because I've always seen the world as inherently nonsensical and I'm just trying to get everyone else on my side. I write shipping because I don't see the kinds of relationships I want to portrayed or discussed in other media.
I write pony fanfiction because it helps me correct perceived flaws in the world. And by 'in the world', I of course mean 'in myself'. Just ask me about romance sometime. Or, for your sanity, don't. :')
But yeah. Discontent. That answered a big question that's been on my mind since August. August, it should be noted, is the month I realized I was trans. Right at the start thereof, in fact. The day before, I posted something stupid and silly, for the lulz. Exactly a month later, I posted something trans related. And I haven't written anything since.
And yes, there have been some other factors, mostly trying to convert 18 custom decks made for a card game from being based off MLP:FiM to being """"completely original"""" which required a lot of writing in itself. And, like, being preoccupied with finding a new place to live and dealing with my aunt's death and figuring out just what the fuck gender is (I still don't know lol). But the whole time, every now and then, I'll think, gee, I haven't written anything for a while, and I'll feel a little bad.
Because I want to continue the adventures of Twilight and Tempest in The Princess's Captain. I would love to finish Epic Unicorn History. Heck, I've been wanting to continue The Elements of Awesomery, there's a fucking callback. I've had two stories in my library, neither of them published, since 2015, because I need to actually write one of them for the other to make sense. I want to finish Transitions and story #100. And I still have almost 600 fanfic ideas, some of which I still think are really cool.
Which is all to say... Yeah, I'd like to get writing again sometime. It does bother me. But I also finally understand what shape my discontent took all my life, and I'm not quite so discontented anymore. Or at least, I'm discontented about other stuff that doesn't make for good fanfic fodder. So I'm gonna try not to let it bother me, because that doesn't help anyone. :)
So anyway, my monthly torture session will last from 4:30 to 5 today, and then tomorrow I get to have stuff jammed up my nose and feel miserable for other reasons for the next week or year! :') Consider this my State of the Writer post for this month, I guess.
See y'all later!
okay, but like... "What flavor of Subway condiment are you?" Where the hell did I come up with that? XD I am still a writer, no matter what.
Please.
Here's hoping you get back on the horsefic horse soon.
Also, I took the test and got... "Reverence." Not what I expected. It's definitely a thought-provoking one.
The quiz gave me Gratitude as a result, which tracks for me now.
However, after I came out back in 2020, I stopped writing for 2 years, and hadn't exactly been on the ball before that either.
Examining my own thoughts, I came to the conclusion that so much of my writing was based on Longing. For both romance of my own, and for being a girl.
Now that I have both of those things, my drive for writing was kicked out from under me. I've had to find other things that spark joy. Still a bit of a struggle, as I haven't made writing a priority in more months than I'd really care for. But its something.
Well, if discontent doesn't seem to be working, have you considered writing out of petty discontent? Maybe spend some time hanging around a newsstand in Manhattan? I hear that's a gathering place for the common man, and if there's one thing I know, it's that even brief exposure to the common man builds discontent very quickly.
Maybe you could try destroying the world. Just throwing some ideas out there.
(If you do decide to destroy the world, could you wait until September? I have a couple things I need to do before then, but after should be no problem)
I took the test and got "Pain", which... I mean, it's not completely wrong? It probably fits better than many of the other answers. But I still feel like there must be a better way to put it
Best of luck with the writing, girl. And with everything.
Yeah, I don't think it's a good questionnaire. I somehow managed to get "hope" on my first try and "discontent" on my second and third despite picking very different answers each time (and not out of spite: there were lots of times like the "what emotion do you write from?" question when I wasn't impressed by the meagre selection or the artificial limitations). Lots of times when I wanted to pick multiple answers but couldn't. It's railroaded arbitrarily, and thus really not well-designed.
Maybe you can pigeonhole artists, but definitely not the way this one's done it.
"You will wear a silly hat."
Ah, so I'm not the only one then. Seriously, though, creative writing ideas are the worst: they trick your brain into thinking you've already done the work, and then they act shocked when you still have to do the work.
Oh yeah, I quite familiar with this question. "What emotion do you create from". Believe it or not, for the longest time I thought that artist, no matter with what background and in which area, creates from his own suffering alone.
Boy, but I was glad to be proven wrong with time
By the way, my answer is "Hope". I liked it very much.
This is a great test.
Quiz gave me Love. Which… you know, I don’t have the most profound things to say on the matter, but that doesn’t feel totally incorrect; even when I often think first and foremost about things being cool or fun in my writing (and sometimes funny, though rarely as a priority), and I am fully reading and willing to be easily critical of art, I do feel I write from a place of generosity, of seeing and wanting the best for the characters, even if it can’t be given to them. Between 28 questions and the number of choices on many of them, as these types of quizzes go, it’s far from the worst one I’ve seen. Though what you said about it dropping vague facts and counting on the viewer to see meaning between the lines is still totally on the ball, of course.
That’s also some insight into your current writing. Even for as relatively little of your work as I have read, I do hope you get back to writing what you want to, and what makes you happy, soon, buddy. As soon as fits. You’ve got this spirit’s support!
The best I've been able to figure out is it's all just a great big joke and every single one of us, somehow, ends up being the punchline.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'm sympathetic. I understand how easily that can make someone feel discontented.
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Barbecue sauce. That's what I always have when I go there, anyway.
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Hey, the quiz gave me Love, too! Which is kinda funny, since I thought for sure I'd get Melancholy XD Guess it makes sense, though. The stories I write, thus, the stories I care about, I tend to cherish in some way despite their melancholy.
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I think I’ve taken that quiz. I’m pickles.
Got loneliness. I feel that tracks.
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I'm either pickles or mustard. Something with a lot of vinegar, anyway. Not because my disposition is particularly sour, though. I just love any topping/condiment with vinegar in it. You could probably give me a bowl of mustard and I'd eat it with a spoon and we've reached the point where I've oversharing and eww gross and I'll stop now sorry.
I took the same quiz and got "Melancholy" and I was like... yeah, that tracks.
If you want an excuse to write more, though, you should come check out Quills and Sofas. We have been known to make people write. Heck, basically every story I've written had its genesis there in some way.
*Hugs* I can definitely see how getting rid of a big sense of discontent might throw you off a little. And with so many other big upheavals too, of course things are going to be tricky to come back to.
Take your time. we'll be here n_n
I got Hiraeth.
Fair.
I took the test myself and landed on Love, but as is so often the case with these tests I got a fairly even balance among several different options. So rather than look at just the top-rater, I looked the ones that collectively take up the brunt of things. Thus, I would argue my real result was a mix of Love (17%), Melancholy (14%), and Discontent (14%). Everything else fell below 10%.
Honestly, looking at my library? That combination makes a lot of sense.
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that's fascinating :O I have no idea what all the possible answers are
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I... don't recall you coming out! :O Late welcome to Girl Club, let's goooo!
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oh, my discontent has been very petty, let me assure you :V
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yeah, I actually started keeping count? c_c;; I like numbers
and torturing myself5719026
I would be Caesar dressing but they don't have it anymore D:
also I would not make it through March lol5719073
do I look like someone who wants to write? V:
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Yeah I never made a blog announcing it.
It's a good club though. Today is actually my 3 year anniversary of starting E.
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omg, congrats! :D
for me, it is still a 'someday' :B hopefully next month
This has got me thinking about myself. Earlier fics were written because "I hate what the fandom is doing to these characters and want them portrayed sympathetically" (Celestia and Blueblood), but that has since faded. The desire to write grim, unheroic military dramas dates way back, though I finally grew out of... less-considered works and into the genuine anti-war tragedies I've long been aiming for. Most of the rest is "I love this ship" and "this joke made me laugh, let me show you." A lot of times I like taking works that I love and 'ponifying' them (Grand Inquisitor, Lovecraft, Beethoven's Last Night), more-or-less out of a desire to share what I love with the pone community.
Fascinating, the things we see simply by stepping back and looking at ourselves for a few minutes.
I don't remember the exact line, but in one of King's short stories, one of the characters said "A writer is someone who wakes up with ashes in his mouth." Kinda rings true.
I've also run the gamut when it comes to what inspires me. Sometimes it's a thing I see and I want to share it with the world, sometimes I'm in a bad mood and a cute fluffy pony fic will make things better, sometimes I just want to out-do your one-word-long breakup fic.
I did get started writing on FimFic 'cause nobody had written the story I wanted, and because I thought I could do better than anybody else. Dunno if I succeeded, but I'm still trying.
Well I can at least answer that one! Gender is a mostly social construct and partly a biological/reproductive one, you are what you define your self as no matter what bits you have attached to you. If you say you're a girl than you're a girl, if you say you're a boy than you're a boy, if you say you're other* than you're other*. Sure you may need some treatments or surgery to feel comfortable in your own body, but you are still you in the end, and this thing I saw on the internet once(That I can't find again) spells things out quite well: "(...) And this is my little boy---" "Girl." "That's not what it says on your birth certificate." "Yeah well it also says 2 pounds 8 ounces. Things change mom!"
*(I'm not getting into to the colour wheel/spectrum of gender identities.)
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now that's a comeback!