• Member Since 14th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

Chuckfinley


"Violence for violence is the rule of beasts" - Barack Obama

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Equestria has come unstuck in time and space.

The world that Gilda Redbeak knows has detached itself from reality. The true, Platonic nature of existence has become as thin and permeable as muslin. Strange universes are superimposing themselves onto Equestria, bizarre, hollow fictions with only the vaguest resemblance to the truth. Ponies replaced with crude facsimiles, a swarm of alicorns, hordes of green-headed men, pointless invasions by inexplicably evil leaders, sneering egotists in strange costumes, perception-warpers with vast harems, contrivances on an unimaginable scale, and... humans.

If Gilda can't stop this, the entire world will be replaced by something far more sinister, and also dumber. Or worse, the strain on timespace will destroy existence entirely. Either way, she won't be able to make the loan payment on her new scone cart.

With the help of an attention-seeking showmare, a frustrated draconequus, and a deeply-confused sailor from Worcester, Gilda has to banish these false realities, one by one, before they destroy Equestria for good.

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Princess Luna should invest in an in-tray.

Part one of a three-part series.

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Space Princess Luna returns to New Canterlot to charm her love and root out a dangerous spy known only as The Broker. A tale of space, spears, and thrilling intrigue!

This is a planetary romance and a love-letter to the works of Jack Vance, Robert E Howard, and Ray Bradbury. Expect high camp, purple prose, and space duels.

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A Fate/Zero crossover of sorts.

Equestria is dying, and always has been.

The whole world has been this way for a thousand years, ever since Princess Celestia sacrificed herself to bind the fallen Princess Luna. Year by year the soil turns barren, the oceans turn still, the sun glows colder, and civilization slowly crumbles. The pegasi have not controlled the weather for centuries. Soon, the unicorns will lack the strength to raise the sun each morning. The world will be bare of life in less than two centuries. Even the most powerful magical artifacts cannot halt the decline.

Until now.

An old power has resurfaced, and five ponies race to claim it. A young duke, desperate to save his city and reclaim his family honor. A bounty hunter who speaks to the earth. A scion of magical power. A purposeless prodigy. And a college dropout. They will raise powerful servants and fight for the Grail of Magic.

Dark factions plot on the horizons and strange beings peer in from outside places. One master of magic will claim the Grail. They will save the fading world... or rule its ashes.

Chapters (15)
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Ponyville has come adrift. It no longer sings its songs and sleeps its nights, it drifts through shifting shadows and the hiss of entropy. Princess Luna's influence has vanished and the diarch herself is nowhere to be found.

Pipsqueak still believes the pony she met as a foal is out there. And she'll find her.

If her mind doesn't slip away first.


Edited by the unparalleled themaskedferret and pre-read by the loveable ScarletWeather.

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Side Story to The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle


When Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle got Ponyville and the surrounding lands as her exclusive demesne, she knew it meant changes and stuff. Glittering opportunities. Dire crises. Friendships gained and imperiled. The dawn of a new age for Ponyville. A renaissance of the arts and sciences. A great test of her abilities as a leader and as a friend.

The brewing civil war took her by surprise, on the other claw.

The Princesses and their allies in Canterlot are working to change the laws, disband the new militias and ensure a lasting peace, but they need time. Soon, this cold war of arms and intimidation will heat up, and all the laws and decrees in the world ain't stopping it.

Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle will buy them time. She will do what it takes to keep her friends, her family, and yes, her demesne safe.

With the help of a handsome griffon security professional—that's me, by the way—a devious illusionist, a ruthless athlete, a bored noble, and a pair of boater-clad con-ponies, she'll stop the damn war herself if she has to.

Touch wood I'll live to tell about it...

Chapters (9)
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This story is a sequel to Pipsqueak's Day Off


Lickety Split has a big day tomorrow, and all he wants is to relax and prepare.

His friends—Dinky Doo, Pipsqueak, Ruby Pinch and Tootsie Flute—have other plans. They feel he should be celebrating. With copious amounts of alcohol, clover, and loud music.

At least his boyfriend, Rumble, is here to help...

Prepare yourselves for the long-awaited sequel to Pipsqueak's Day Off, a terrifying tale of hubris, indulgence, and weird science!

Chapters (3)
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The armies of the the free world — from the Myrmidons of Minos to the Border Guard of Equestria — unite to free the deer nation Nainuoc from a tyrant and destroy his secret doomsday devices.

Critics see a quagmire, cooked up on flimsy pretenses. Supporters see a just war of liberation, for the safety of the world.

Gilda and Trixie see comically large sums of money, drifting softly into their clutches.

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I, Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings, was a paragon of my kind. I was the greatest military ruler my people have ever known. I was mere months from conquering the most prosperous nation in the world.

Then a strange dragon rose from the stone, and everything changed.

I do not think of conquest any more. Now, I think of persimmons.



[AU fic where Discord decided to wreak bloody vengeance when he was first released. Heavily based on (BUT NOT CANON TO) the wonderful alarajroger's Elements of Opposition continuity. Go check that out, because it's fantastic and better than this story.]

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Fillydelphia! City of a thousand glittering opportunities! Come to Fillydelphia! Get your mane cut! Divorce your spouse! Buy a chariot! Rent a condo! Fillydelphia! The city that glows like the gin blossoms on its mayor’s face!

Trixie and Gilda have been in Fillydelphia for some time, and it’s almost, but not quite, to their taste. There’s no good work — at least, no good work with monthly paychecks, annual performance reviews and a promotion track that doesn’t involve murder — for a travelling illusionist and an uncertified bouncer, so to cover the rent they’ve had to resort to bad work.

Well, not bad bad work. And certainly not that sort of bad work. The hours are good, the pay is more than adequate, and the people they meet are interesting.

They cater to a certain clientele, ponies who know it’s not just what you have in life that makes you happy, but what you don’t have. Like vengeful rivals. Or snitches. Or nosy detectives.

Or dead bodies.

When that is the particular problem, Gilda and Trixie get a call. For a reasonable price and a good reference, they’ll make your problem disappear...

Chapters (3)
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