MLP Loops 195
195.1 (Evilhumour)
Sleipnir sighed, looking at himself in the mirror in his office before letting out another sigh.
Ever since his little brother proved that he was getting up there in age, he really noticed how out of shape he was. He muscles were all but gone, he could barely run across the sky with his old saddle anymore and he had a paunch!
He was ashamed of his current build, dreading of what the others would say back in the stables of Asgard if they could see him now but what could he do? Work was a near full time obligation and what time wasn't spent at Yggdrasil Proper was spent with his family and he was of the Norse Pantheon, he couldn't just wander off like he was a Greek!
Although...
He frowned to himself as he pulled up some in-Branch Administrator level modification codes, meant for when they had to appear in the lower levels of Yggdrasil. Most of them were instantly approved nearly for all Admins, barring the few odd balls and special cases such as Skuld and her Branch due to some reason far above his pay grade that he didn't dare think to why it was so. He looked at the more interconnected ones, which were blacked out for general usage and restricted to trusted Administrators and Pantheon Leaders. The closer the Administrator got to placing their actual self into the Branch, the more the restrictions came up.
Ever since what happened to his little brother, no Administrator was allowed to fully step without explicit authorization from Tyr and all of the Pantheon Leaders approval. To do so either required balls the size of Yggdrasil or a Category Two, or Yggdrasil forbid One, Disaster was about to happen and they needed to get inside the Branch immediately to prevent it, although there was a short delay from what was happening in the lower levels of Yggdrasil from Yggdrasil Proper out of safety to help prevent low level Disasters from happening.
Stepping semi fully in, however, was allowed, under certain perversions and if certain feature were met.
Looking at Equestria, he saw that it currently only had Twilight Awake and she was off in the Crystal Empire. If he were to enter with a copy of his mind and a shell sending back what he experienced in the Branch, he could exercise in peace without anyone seeing him and asking questions he didn't want to answer.
Smiling to himself, he began the process of creating a copy of his mind and creating a pony shell for him to wear, he didn't see how this could go bad for him.
He nodded in approval of the nondescript pony he created for himself but huffed at how he looked. A bit of grey in the mane, stomach was far lower than he thought accurate, and he was old.
Snorting to himself, he moved his focus to his ponyself and entered the Branch.
Sleipnir smiled as he opened his eyes, taking in the sweet and magic heavy air of Equestria.
Some wondered why Equestria was such a success as a Sanctuary Branch, and beyond the work of Twilight and her Loopers, the magic of this Branch was usually conducive for peaceful relationships.
He could feel the world working its magic on him, and his smile grew.
This was a good idea, this was going to work perfectly!
Taking a step forwards, he knew that nothing could go wrong!
He then promptly fell flat on his face.
Groaning, he reached out to get himself upright, only to overextend himself and land on his back.
"Ow," he whimpered, his body not used to this and the pain sensors were a bit too realistic for his liking. Holding his legs up in the air, he saw the problem right away. He then slapped his face for his amateur mistake, then hissed as he realized how hard hooves could be. "Ow, and note to self upstairs, make sure to obscure this Loop's recording."
The last thing he wanted for his coworkers to find out about this, that he, Sleipnir Odinsteed, tripped over his own hooves!
Then again, he did have half the number of hooves he was used to and he had pushed his secondary and fourth legs into his primary and third legs, creating a weird situation where he had to learn to move his pony legs physically one at a time while moving the fused limbs separately in his mind at the same time. Or, if he were to simplify it, he would move his right upper leg physically while moving his primary leg and then his secondary leg in his mind as to keep his manner of walking normal for him when he got back to Yggdrasil Proper.
Rolling to his stomach, he pushed himself upright slowly and took some cautious steps in the clearing he was in to get use to this manner of walking, how anyone walked with just four legs was beyond him.
Ear twitching as he blew some of his ragged mane of his face, he heard some voices nearby. Deciding to investigate things, he walked over to the tree lines.
Breaking the tree line, he saw five very familiar ponies all on a picnic blanket, talking to each other.
As much as he liked the mares, he wanted to steer clear of anyone that could see him and either Wake up or inform Twilight or another Looper of him. The less that they knew the better in his ey-
Wait a second, Pinkie Pie was gone.
Oh ash tree, how the hell could he have forget to keep an eye on Pinkie -
"Hiya there!" A voice called in front of him as a pink blur appeared directly in his line of sight with two bright blue orbs staring directly into his soul.
With a surprised yelp, Sleipnir stumbled backwards before instinctively stretching out with his further set of hind legs before remembering that it was his inner hind legs he had out to move this time. With a shout and then a groan, Sleipnir found himself flat on his back for the second time in a day.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay, old timer?" Pinkie Pie gasped as she ran to help him, with the rest of the fillies rushing over to aid him.
"Old timer?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as Applejack placed a hoof on his right foreleg to steady him as if he was really that infirm! "I am not old," he grumbled, shaking his mane out of his face again.
"Eh..." Dash said, shaking her hoof. "Not to be rude or anything but ya kinda are."
Sleipnir simply directed his best disapproving father look he had on her, causing the pegasus to fold a bit. "In any case, I thank you all for the assistance but I am not old. I'm fairly young, actually."
"Er," Applejack rubbed back of her head. "Ah'd guessed ya'll in your forties or somethin', to be honest."
With another withering glare at the mare, Sleipnir opened his mouth to correct them again when Rarity coughed delicately.
"Well in my opinion, you do have a very worldly look on you that some mares truly do appreciate," she said with a sly look on her face that made Sleipnir groan internally.
"Thank you kindly, ma'am," said Sleipnir. "My wife certainly agrees, telling how much she likes my rugged good looks."
Rarity blinked widely, aware of how bad the faux pas she almost made was before hiding it under a smile. "Then she is a mare of excellent judgement then, mister..."
"Sleipnir," he said without thinking, cursing himself for saying his real name. He really didn't want anyone to know he was here, and when Twilight got back, he didn't want her investigating him.
"Huh, that's an odd name," Rainbow Dash said with a frown, looking at him oddly now. "Where are you from?"
"North," he screamed inside his head at his lapse. It was like he wanted to be found out or something!
"North?" Rarity asked, looking at Applejack for confirmation if he was lying.
"Yes, north," he said, eyes darting around. He really needed to get away so he'd-
"So what bring ya to Ponyville, Sleip, Slipp, er... Slipper?" Applejack said with a blush, causing the stallion to roll his eyes at the butchering of his name.
"It's okay, ma'am and I am just taking some time for myself," he said with an easy smile. "I thought I'd try and get back into shape as it were." With a chuckle, Sleipnir rubbed a hoof against his chest and said, "Used to be quiet the speed demon in my days... which wasn't that long ago." He narrowed his eyes at the smug looking Rainbow Dash.
"Really now? Because I know all the speedy ponies and I never heard your name, Slipper," she said, leaning up into his face.
"I assure you, I can easily take you on, Dash," he snapped back only for Applejack to step between them.
"Look now, y'all don't need to get your tails in a twist," she said, leveling a glare at her friend and then at him. "Look mister, if ya want to get your flab under control, ya can come to mah farm and help out a bit. How does that sound?"
"That sounds marvelous," Sleipnir said. "What's the worse that could happen?"
195.2 (Vinylshadow)
Lyra and Bon Bon sat at one of Canterlot's many outdoor cafés and opened the menus.
"So...are we gonna talk about what happened, or...?" Lyra asked after a few minutes of frosty silence.
"There's nothing to talk about," Bon Bon said curtly.
"Your water, ladi-Lyra?" their waitress said, sounding surprised.
Lyra lowered her menu to meet the surprised stare of Twilight Sparkle.
"Heya, Twilight. Shouldn't you be in Ponyville?" Lyra asked.
"Celestia and Luna are Awake," Twilight said, waving a hoof dismissively. "They've been busy since the founding of Equestria to ensure a moderately normal vacation loop."
Bon Bon snorted loudly in disbelief from behind her menu and Twilight arched an eyebrow at Lyra.
"We're currently living in a hotel while our home is...razed to the ground, the land purified, blessed and regrown, and a new house is built," Lyra muttered sheepishly.
Twilight blinked slowly, at a loss for words before nodding. "Yeah, I know that feeling."
Now it was Lyra's turn to look surprised.
"Well, I doubt what I've been through is anything like whatever happened to you, but I've had termites in the library on top of a nasty case of bookworms and then Tirek happened...and on top of that, it was Trixie and her group of Elements who had been chosen by the Tree of Harmony, and their castle got planted in Appleloosa for whatever reason, so I was out of a house until the Library regrew..."
She shook her head. "Anyway, that's in the past. What would you like to order?"
"Hay salad with olives," Lyra said.
"A divorce," Bon Bon muttered.
"Ah..." Twilight said with a wince. "I see..."
Shooting Lyra a sympathetic glance, Twilight took their menus and went to prepare their meal.
"Would it help if I said I was sorry?" Lyra asked once the Anchor had left.
"Lyra, it doesn't matter what you say, since at the end of this...Loop, I will cease to exist and you'll have a fresh Bon Bon to play with next time."
Lyra grimaced. "That's not how I roll, Bonnie," she said quietly. "You've read the journal-"
"That chronicles your conquests of what you think is the same pony time and time again?" Bon Bon said cooly. "That's not how life works, Lyra, or whatever you call yourself nowadays."
"Maybe, but I know my feelings for you will never change, even if you don't return them-"
"Then leave me alone. Maybe there's Loops where I don't know you, don't want to know you and have been happier because of it!"
Lyra was silent before she smiled. "Fair enough, Bon Bon. I'm sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration and for roping you into this with me."
Bon Bon didn't meet her eyes and merely nodded before the food arrived and they ate in silence.
195.3 (194.4 continued) (Katfairy)
Twilight Sparkle ignored the panic around her, more concerned with preventing Tiamat from flame-broiling Luna.
“Get Venger! He’s the one controlling her!” she yelled, feeling her shields shaking slightly from the force of Tiamat’s assault. It was more than a little worrying; she’d forgotten that Tiamat was a major power in her own right, since the ancient dragon rarely bothered to display that power. But her shout worked.
“Very well; I leave her to you. Do not allow her to cause further harm, or you will answer to me.”
Twilight grimaced; that would not be a pleasant conversation, and would probably lead to hard feelings in future Loops. So she had an extra reason to get Luna free as quickly as possible. She took a quick glance at the other alicorn and was slightly relieved to see her standing almost still, her only motion being a barely distinguishable trembling. Good; that meant that she was fighting back. Twilight transferred her shields to surround the two of them and left Venger to the others.
It didn’t take her long to find the source of the problem: a small, subtle spell, probably cast long ago and left to grow unnoticed; even for a Looper and an experienced magic-user, it could have been missed if it had been done right. All Venger would have needed was to have been ready to cast it in a moment when Luna was distracted, and he had both the brains and the skill to pull it off as long as he didn’t let his temper or ego get in the way. Which didn’t happen all that often, but it did happen.
Now that she had found the problem, she had another one: how to fix it. A big, flashy spell might get rid of most of it, but even the smallest scrap of Venger’s magic remaining attached would mean that the pernicious spell could return, growing the way it had the first time. An equally subtle spell would be better, but it would take time she wasn’t sure they had at the moment. She sighed as she realized what the best option was; she’d seen it coming from the moment they’d first spotted the castle.
“Sorry, Luna; it’s got to be the Orbital Friendship Cannon.”
Luna didn’t so much as twitch, but Twilight could read the acceptance in her eyes. Dropping the shields around herself but keeping them around Luna, Twilight turned to check on Hank, who was only just starting to pick himself up.
“Ow.”
“Sorry, Hank; we really messed up.”
“Key words: we. You know your magic, but I know Venger, so I should have thought to check for something like this. Call it a learning experience?”
“I think I can do that.”
“Good. Now, I heard what you said to Luna; do you know where the Realm’s Elements are? And how do you think we should hit Luna and Venger at the same time?”
“Well, there’s the problem.”
“Not really,” Presto said, making them both jump. The young wizard put out a hand to steady Hank. “Sorry. But, well, I’ve kinda been thinking about it. And I think Luna was wrong. And, as usual, Dungeon Master gave us the hint. The Elements are within our grasp. Literally.”
“What do you—oh, come on!”
The battle stopped as everyone turned to stare at Hank, who was glaring at the bow in his hand. Presto looked a little apologetic, but nodded.
“Yeah, ‘fraid so. And I think I know who everyone is.” Presto faced Venger, looking small and unimpressive as he walked up to the towering mage. “You kinda screwed up here. See, if you hadn’t showed up here, I’d never have put a lot of thought into this. Luna and Twilight would have gone home and we’d have just had our usual spats, with neither side really winning or losing. But you did. So I did. And I know I don’t show it much, but, thing is, I’m kind of a genius. Like, officially. Got papers and everything to prove it back home. And you really annoyed me. So I thought about it really hard, even while we were fighting. And you know what I figured out? That Sheila, who time and again has made us promise to break her heart so that she wouldn’t hurt Hank the way she did in baseline, is the Element of Kindness.”
Sheila gasped as she began to float, her cape glowing. Presto didn’t even look.
“Diana, who always does her best to keep our spirits up even if it means people take her for a mental lightweight, is the Element of Laughter.”
Diana grinned, doing a small flip in order to sit on her hovering staff.
“Eric, who might moan and whine and complain all the time, still stays by our side and will dive into danger headfirst if it even looks like we need him. I’d say that makes him Loyalty, wouldn’t you?”
“Little warning, Presto?” Eric yelped as his shield yanked him off the ground.
“You had it. Bobby never flinches, even when he’s afraid. Courage.”
Bobby just laughed as his club hauled him up.
“Tiamat—well, she’s an ancient dragon who still thinks us mortals are worth protecting. What else could an ancient dragon be but the Element of Magic?”
Twilight made a mental note to never mention to Tiamat that she actually squeaked in five-part harmony when she began to float, a scale that had fallen off in the battle circling her. Hank stepped forward then.
“Presto never hesitates to use his magic to help others, even though he’s always afraid he can’t do enough. That’s Generosity for you.”
Presto was now floating under his hat, eyes level with the stunned Venger.
“Guess Hank’s right. And Hank? He doesn’t hide from the truth, no matter how ugly it gets. We actually have a leader we can call the soul—or Element, in this case—of Honesty.”
Hank grinned as he joined the others in floating. Twilight, with a silent apology to Luna, levitated her and dropped her on top of Venger, then stepped back to watch the fireworks from the outside for a change.
“Put ‘em together and what do you get?”
“Bibbity-bobbity-boo?” Eric said.
“Eh, close enough. Hank, you’re the leader; I think you gotta be the one to do it.”
“Okay, then. Venger, you wanted the Elements? Well, here they are.”
The others floated into formation around Hank, light streaming from them to him, growing to a near-blinding intensity. Hank stood there for a few seconds, letting the power grow, then raised his bow and fired an enormous rainbow.
195.4 (Anon e Mouse Jr.)
Princess Celestia rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "Sunset Shimmer... can you please tell me how I wound up with an almost entirely new Cabinet while I was gone?"
Sunset looked somewhat abashed. "Well... Twilight had a plan for this Loop..."
(flashback)
Several hooves pointed at Prince Blueblood. "All of us challenge you and your associates to a drinking contest!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. "Captains decide the members of their teams and watch the competition to make sure nopony's cheating. Winning team's captain decides who serves in Princess Celestia's cabinet for the next four years."
(flashback end)
"Prince Blueblood took Twilight's challenge personally and appointed Fancy Pants as his team's captain, then decided to face me. He lost very quickly, and his teammates decided to surrender then and there. So we won," Sunset concluded. "As the captain of our team, Twilight appointed me as Prime Minister, then she and I worked together to fill the other seats."
"You won your position. In a drinking contest." Celestia sighed. "You know, given your history and alcohol tolerance, that really wasn't fair to Prince Blueblood."
"Who said anything about alcohol?" Sunset shrugged. "We were both drinking diet soda. Of course, that didn't stop Blueblood from losing when he got plastered and passed out after three cans."
"... Somehow, I am not surprised at that."
"Neither was Fancy Pants. I have the feeling he's going to tease the prince about this for a good long while."
Celestia sighed. "So, who do I have on my cabinet besides you?"
"Well, Cheerilee's the Minister of Education..."
"A wise choice."
"Applejack is Minister of Agriculture..."
"That makes sense."
"And Pinkie Pie somehow got herself appointed Minister of Festivities."
The Royal Sisters exchanged glances. "Is that even a legitimate Cabinet position?" Luna asked.
"It is now."
Celestia looked at her student. "While I cannot say I entirely approve of the means, I do appreciate the results," she finally said. "At least with you and your friends in charge, the meetings won't be dull anymore."
"No, they certainly won't. Especially since we kept the Prince on as Minister of Finance."
"You did?"
"Well, we went over the records from the last ten years, ever since you appointed him to the position. We saw that he took his work seriously, and has done the best job of anypony in the Cabinet during that time. So letting him keep his position was in all our best interests."
Celestia smiled. "I see. That was very wise and generous of you and Twilight."
"Thank you, Princess."
195.5 (Vinylshadow)
Vinyl Scratch stared hard at her toaster oven, red eyes locked on the device that was causing her so much grief.
"Vinyl, dear, what are you doing?" Octavia asked.
Vinyl glanced at her.
"I am trying to figure out how the toaster works."
Octavia turned her attention to the machine.
"It...toasts bread, no?"
"Nope. I analyzed the composition of the bread before and after it is toasted and it's completely different," Vinyl said.
"Well, don't you have some bizarre ability to look at the past or something? Use that to see what happens," Octavia suggested.
Vinyl blinked then grinned.
Firing up her magic, she tapped into her Wubbergy and the toaster shimmered as a ghostly piece of bread appeared.
A portal then opened in the back of the toaster and a tentacle pulled the bread in before placing a piece of toast in its place.
"...Well, I guess that answers the age-old question of 'Where does bread go after putting it in the toaster?'" Octavia said.
195.6 (Evilhumour)
(MLP)(Admin)
Twilight Woke up on a spiderweb holding a book.
Blinking as this was very uncommon, enough to grace her top double digits of odd Loop Awakenings, she began to examine herself and locati-
She had eight legs and a spider's abdomen. She still had her cutie mark but she was some sort of spider-pony hi-
"Oh about bloody time you Woke up," a voice barked at her from below, causing her to jump back as she had not sent off a Ping. "Let's get this over with as quickly and quietly as possible, shall we?"
Blinking at the wolf replacing Spike who was glaring up at her, she was able to place him in an instant and asked, "Fenrir, why are you here?"
"Because my stupid older brother ducked a spell I threw at him, hit your Branch's terminal, Yggdrasil decided to run with the joke and Sleipnir ratted me out to the Old G- I mean Tyr and I got punished for all this!" The wolf growled, pacing the floor of her library.
"Spell?" Twilight Spindle blinked before she started to connect the dots and let out a groan, facehooving with her two right forehooves. "You were going to turn your brother into Spider-Horse?" She asked with as much sarcasm as she could muster, almost in disbelief in how silly this all was but remembered her Admin came from a family of pranksters and she should have expected something like this happening.
"Of course," Fenrir replied without batting an eye. "So if you will excuse me, I have to hack up a letter telling you to stop being an anti-social outcast, go outside, make friends and redeem Nightmare Spidermoon or whatever the pun is." He grumbled, opening his mouth uncomfortably wide before continuing to complain. "I so hope I can get something to drink this Loop or I will be so damn pissed."
With a groan as Fenrir began to making hacking noises, Twilight knew she was in a for a long Loop. Looking back at her book, she saw a note from her Admin saying: Now we're even for that prank you pulled on me a while back.
Sleipnir
THUD
"Huh, there's that copy of your tree I once ate, Twilight..."
Yup; a long and painful loop.
195.7 (Vinylshadow)
"Applejack?"
"Yes, Apple Bloom?" the farm mare asked, poking her head from behind her newspaper from her seat in Big Mac's bar.
"I was going over the bushels of apples we're selling...is there any reason there's always an odd number of apples in them?"
Applejack smiled grimly. "We don't use anything divisible by two, actually."
"Why?"
"Because we don't allows pairs in this household."
Apple Bloom's head met the tabletop with a groan.
Rainbow Dash fluttered in through the door and ordered a mug of cider after taking a seat at the counter.
"Why the long face?" Berry Punch asked, cleaning a mug.
"Got fired from the Calendar Factory," Dash grumbled.
"Did you take one day too many off?" Berry asked.
Dash blinked in surprise. "How did you know?"
"Because it's an easy joke to make," Berry said with a grin.
It took Dash a few minutes to get it and she hurled her mug at Berry's head when it hit. The mug bounced harmlessly off the barista's head and she stuck her tongue out at the pegasus.
"And that's why I gave you a soft drink."
"Oi, back to work," Big Mac said, poking his head out of back room. "I'm working on peeling oranges and I need to concentrate."
He didn't understand why the mares burst out laughing.
195.8(Vinylshadow)
"Spike, may I ask you a question?"
"Of course, Rarity."
"Why are you serving me Eggs Benedict on a hubcap?"
"Because there's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise."
Rarity's eye twitched.
"Please tell me you're not going to do this for the entire wedding," Rarity said with a sigh. "Cadence and Shining deserve some peace and quiet for their...umpteenth wedding. Never gets old, really."
"Yeah," Spike said with a smile. "It's very emotional. Even the cake is in tiers."
"Spike."
"Remember when they were replaced by TV antennae? The service wasn't great, but the reception was excellent."
"Spike, please."
"The furniture store kept calling me about the gift, but I told them I only wanted one night stand and that more weren't necessary."
"Why did I marry you?"
Spike gave his wife a kiss. "Because you love me."
Rarity booped his nose. "Fair enough. But you've earned yourself a week on the couch for those puns."
"What a terrible punishment."
"I will punch you."
195.9 (Evilhumour)
"Mwahahah," the figure cloaked in darkness shouted out to his minions. "Shoot her ship down!"
The order was followed out, with dozens of figures racing to their stations and bringing their weaponry online to fire on the sole fighter in the sky. It was being piloted by their arch rival and this time, she would die.
And yet, she managed to turn her aircraft perfectly, dodging every blast of laser fire and torrent of bullets shot at her, with her own bombs and gunfire reaping uncounted havoc and destruction.
It looked like she would get a clean run to bomb them all to hell when suddenly she ejected from her plane, causing it to kamikaze into the fortification and making a huge explosion erupt across the entire front. She then started to fly downwards while firing deadly accurate rounds from her shotguns that were in both of her hooves.
The figure in darkness snarled in outrage, slamming a fist into the armrest as she landed into his command center, slaying dozens of his personal guards before darting behind a console to hide. "Someone, kill her-wait, is that a gatling gun?"
Jumping to behind his throne as it was indeed a gatling gun, the pegasus concentrated her fire to the heavily armed praetorian guards, killing them in droves before finally she reached the end of bullet count.
With a chuckle, the figure stepped out from behind his throne. "It seems you are out of ammo, Bright Eyes," he cackled, looking at where the pegasus was hiding. "Now you are powerless to stop me!"
"Then I guess I'll defeat you the old fashion way," she said very close up, in fact she was right in front of him! Before he could react, the mare lunged her hoof into his chest and ripped out his heart. Raising it to her mouth and taking a savage bite, Bright Eyes then grinned viciously at the stricken ruler. "You and your whole army, King Blueberry Muffin."
With the world fading away with his juices running down his wrecked body, the king watched the mare devour his army; ripping them apart and shoving them into her mouth. At one point, she tore a fresh cadet in half over head with his muffiny bits running down her face and throat. It was when that Luna stepped out of the mare's dream, looked down at the mare who was giggling in her sleep and flew as fast as she could back to Canterlot.
195.10 (fractalman)
Fluttershy looked around the red room. A scale on a desk, a bipedal figure with a dog's head, and a quadruped with an alligator head all caught her eye. "Ah, hello, I take it I'm dead?"
"Why yes," said Anubis as he placed the feather on the scale, "and I must say, you're reacting quite calmly to the knowledge that your very soul is about to be weighed..." he frowned and grunted in his efforts to pick up Fluttershy's soul, "especially considering that I'm only putting it on the scale as a formality! How in the world did you get a soul that weighs so much in a single lifeti-"
"Who's a good afterlife guardian? You are! Oh yes you are a good afterlife guardian! Oh yes you are!" Said Fluttershy as she scratched Ammut's chin.
Startled, Anubis stumbled and dropped Fluttershy's soul, which crashed through the desk and landed on the floor, sending a spider web of cracks all the way to the support pillars.
Derpy flew in. "Hi Annubis! Osiris, Isis, and Nephthys said I was supposed to come here and get my soul weighed first."
Annubis sighed, then shot Fluttershy and her soul a quick glare. "Well, I suppose so...."
In hindsight, his first warning sign was when he felt himself growing lighter just from touching her soul. His second and final warning sign was when he had a hard time walking from how light he was.
Placing the soul into that scale was a mistake; the feather suddenly crashed through the desk as the soul shot up through the roof, causing cracks.
"Well..." said Anubis "you passed. I'm not sure how we're going to retrieve your soul, but you passed."
By this time, Ammut was beyond blissed out as he kicked his hind legs while Fluttershy gave him belly rubs.
CRACK!
Everyone stared up at the roof, where rapidly spreading cracks drew the eyes.
CRASH
Heads popped out of the debris. "I just don't know what went wrong" Said Derpy.
"Ah, hello, is this the first stop for the afterlife? Osiris said I could either get my soul weighed or fill out a literal ton of paperwork...ah...let me fix this up" said Twilight, before casting the standard Object Fixing Spell (not rated for artifacts or complex electronics, but perfectly suitable for dams, furniture, and most houses.).
Anubis bounced his gaze between the grey pony, the yellow pony, and the purple pony for almost 10 seconds before turning around yelling, "NOPE!" and power-walking away.
195.11 (Gym Quirk)
Applejack gazed at the smoldering remains of what had been the Cutie Mark Crusaders' clubhouse. She then considered the nearby lemon tree and its lightly steaming fruit before turning to face her sister and her partners in crime. "Aperture Science loop?"
"Um. Yeah... Cave's final rant kinda got to me the last couple times. Had ta find out if I could actually do it," admitted Apple Bloom.
"Well, I'd say that you were successful." Addressing the others, she asked, "How'd she talk all y'all into goin' along?" She held up a forehoof. "You, I don't need to hear from," she added, pointing at Trixie.
"Exchange for destruction of embarrassing recordings," said Sweetie Belle with a shrug. "Yes. I got paid in advance." She shot a Look at her compatriot.
"Pretty much the same here," nodded Scootaloo. "And I also wanted to see how she'd do it."
"Well, I do 'preciate you limiting the damage to just the clubhouse and its tree; nice work with those stormclouds, Scoots." Applejack sighed. "Right. Since it's your mess, it's up to y'all to fix it."
"No problem, sis," assured Apple Bloom. "Sweets? Would you...?"
The young unicorn's horn glowed and the remains of the tree was gently eased out of the ground. "Good thing we set up the workshop under the next field over this loop..."
Apple Bloom deployed a set of agro-bots to start work on reconditioning the soil. Scootaloo eased one of the lingering rainclouds over the crater in preparation for irrigation.
Applejack nodded at Trixie. "You, come with me." The older pair started walking toward the farmhouse.
Once out of earshot, Trixie commented, "You have to admit that she did a better job of it than you did."
Applejack snorted. "Yeah. But I was younger and dumber. Barely a hundred loops after I got my wings and I go and burn down the farmhouse and a couple of barns. Of course, your version was so much more spectacular..."
"Why stop with just the house when you can take out the entire town? Yeah. Not one of my prouder moments..."
195.12 (Anon e Mouse Jr.)
It was a day or so after the Summer Sun Celebration, when Celestia suddenly Awoke to find herself doing paperwork with a dragon.
"Oh my…" she murmured to herself.
"Princess? Are you alright?" The aforementioned dragon looked up, a concerned look on his face. "You look like you've been thrown for a Loop."
"I certainly feel like it." Celestia smiled at him. "Are you Awake too, Spike?"
"More Awake now than I was a few minutes ago," Spike confirmed.
"That's good." Celestia's eyes glazed for a moment, then she frowned. "That can't be right. I'm only getting one Ping back."
"And I know I just got one and sent one back, so that must have been it," Spike told her. "Hold on - let me do an Element check." He concentrated, and frowned. "Huh. No responses, not even any Magics - Twilight must not be Awake yet."
"That's unusual." Celestia tilted her head. "Though not unheard of. Stealth Anchor?"
"Could be." Spike looked up at her. "So, what plans do you have for this Loop?"
"If Twilight's not Awake, I suppose it's up to you and I to handle the more urgent matters," Celestia told him. "Fortunately, we're almost done with these files, so I think we can safely take a break for a few hours. Or possibly the rest of the day. How would you feel about a stroll around the city?"
"Sounds like a plan."
Two hours later, the princess and the dragon were wandering aimlessly, when Spike glanced across the street and spotted a familiar face with an unhappy expression on it, and his eyes widened. "Oh…"
"What is it?" Celestia asked.
Spike pointed. "Moondancer."
"Oh." Celestia frowned. "Twilight told me what happened with her, and that she tries to do something about it early on every Loop. But if she wasn't Awake, she wouldn't have done that yet…"
"So it's our turn," Spike concluded. "Come on. We've got an unhappy friend to cheer up." Hurrying toward the unicorn mare, he waved a claw. "Hey! Moondancer!"
Her eyes widened. "Spike! I thought - didn't you leave Canterlot?"
"I'm back visiting for a day or so," Spike replied as he trotted up to her. "How about you? What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing much… just trying to focus on my studies. Getting a few books from the library." Moondancer shrugged. "Kind of like certain other ponies…"
"Yeah…" Spike sighed. "Look, I'm sorry Twilight and I couldn't make it to your party that day. But she had a reason."
"Oh?" Moondancer's eyes narrowed. "And what reason was that?"
"That would be me."
At the new voice, Moondancer looked up and froze in shock. "Your… your highness…" She hurriedly bowed. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there-"
"Rise." Celestia's voice was gentle, but firm. "You don't have to bow to me, my little pony. You were one of my student's closest friends, even if she didn't realize it at the time. And that makes you important to me."
"I… ah…" Moondancer trailed off.
Celestia smiled at her. "Why don't the three of us go back to the castle for a bit? There are a few things I want to discuss with you."
Still speechless, Moondancer nodded.
A little while later, the trio were back in Celestia's office, and Moondancer was sitting patiently in front of the princess's desk. Finally, Celestia pulled a book out. "I had assigned Twilight to read this," she explained. "I was… subtly guiding her towards certain information. And indeed, she surpassed my expectations when she found the prophecy of Nightmare Moon's return."
"Nightmare Moon? You seriously wanted her looking up that old filly's story?" Moondancer snorted, then looked aghast at herself. "I mean-"
"Rest easy, Moondancer." Celestia smiled. "I am not offended. But the truth is, Nightmare Moon was no mere foal's tale. She was very real, and very dangerous. And it was my hope, when I sent her to Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, that Twilight would figure out the key to saving her from herself. And indeed, with the friends she made there, she succeeded beyond my wildest dreams."
Moondancer's eyes shrank into pinpricks. "I… gah…" Then she shook her head. "Princess… what, exactly, are you saying?"
"I am saying that I was the elder sister in the story, the one who was forced to imprison Nightmare Moon for a thousand years. And when she returned a few days ago… Twilight finally learned enough about friendship that she was able to harness one of the greatest powers in Equestria and rid us of the Nightmare. And in doing so, she finally reunited me with my sister Luna." Celestia bowed her head. "Unfortunately, I am afraid my actions also led to her skipping your party in favor of concentrating on the books I assigned her. Had I known you wanted her company that afternoon, I would have happily encouraged her to visit with you for a few hours. I know she would have had plenty of time to do so, with as fast as she completed her research. But I didn't think about it, and for that I am sorry."
"Princess…" Moondancer looked at her in surprise. She looked even more surprised when Celestia wrapped a leg around her and pulled her into a hug. After a moment, she released the younger mare.
"Now, if you really want to spend some time with Twilight, I'm sure I could arrange for you to visit her in Ponyville. She's made some wonderful new friends, but I expect a visit from an old one would make her just as happy."
Moondancer smiled at the thought. "Thank you, Princess. Thank you very much."
That afternoon, Celestia was sitting in her office, humming contentedly as she re-read one of the books she'd picked up during her latest Hub Loop, when a scroll suddenly materialized in front of her. Unfurling it, she began to read.
Dear Princess Celestia,
We arrived in Ponyville safe and sound. Now Pinkie's throwing a "Happy your friendship's been repaired" party for Moondancer and Twilight, and since you're the one who helped make it possible, you're invited. So's Luna, if she's up to it.
Yours, Spike
P.S.: Could you bring Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine with you when you come?
Furling up the scroll again, Celestia carefully retied it and set it aside, then left her office with a smile on her face. She had some ponies to fetch, and a party to attend.
All in all, she reflected, I think this is a wonderful start to what will hopefully stay a very good Loop.
And indeed, it did.
195.13 (Evilhumour)
Twilight found herself in the town hall, waiting for Luna and/or Nyx to show up with Nightmare Moon late and Celestia was standing on the stage, seemingly unsure of what to do as her sister had not returned from her thousand yea-
"DEAREST SISTER," Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she flew into the room and hovered over the stage with a number of batponies holding odd-wait, was she really going to do that again? "I HAVE COME TO CLAIM EQUESTRIA FOR MY OWN!!!" Luna then reached up with her hooves to pull out an item from the beam of the moonlight.
It was, of course, a guitar with her batponies setting up their drums, keyboards and speaker systems as Luna held her axe at her sister. "WHAT SAY YOU?!"
"I say bring. It. On!" Celestia shot a fierce grin at her sister with a beam of sunlight smashing through the roof of the town hall, condensing into a fiery guitar that Celestia brought into her hooves, with the Royal Guards already springing into action as they somehow had enough training to properly react if Princess Celestia was challenged by her sister to guitar off for the control of Equestria with them bringing out their own drums and musical instruments to counter Luna's.
As the two alicorns played their hearts out to the cheering, ever growing crowd totally enjoying themselves -she swore she saw Blueblood and Spitfire sneaking off together to find a proper makeout place as Soarin and Zephyr had already claimed the closet- Twilight could only think that the two needed to get new materi-
Wait, was that Vinyl, Lyra and Octavia riding a Slaaneshi corrupted Baneblade, each of them playing their own instruments as loud as possible, declaring their own intent to claim the kingdom in the name of their Queen Derpy?
Twilight blinked to herself from the rafters, still unsure how she got there, and said, "Huh, that's somewhat unusual..."
195.14 (Evilhumour)
"Hey Twi," Vinyl waved to the mare as the musician walked into the bar under the barn. "What's up?"
"Ddfsfrf, redfbsuew dsfnu Kifubweif," Twilight asked before hiccuping and then shaking her head. "Dewrw qwedasudbwq, esfeqwHWdis wefwepd Zweedfwsdf?" She giggled before faceplanting into the counter and then starting to snore.
Vinyl blinked at the mare before looking at the ponies across the bar. "Um...what the redwood just happened?"
"The trial run of our new word salad beer," Berry said as she went over a clipboard. "Not the exact results we were looking for, but it is interesting."
"Huh..." Vinyl blinked behind her shades before using her magic to lift the mare over to a booth. "Need some help?" She asked, scratching the back of her head.
195.15 (fractalman)
"It's just feeding pigs." said Twilight, "How hard could it be?"
"Okay," said Spike. "Step one. Open and close the gate six times. That's...odd."
Twilight frowned, but did so.
"Okay, step two. Walk away."
Spike and Twilight exchanged a look.
"Step 3: make sure the waystones in the variety garden are perfectly aligned."
Twilight took a second look at the pigs. One of them pigs yawned, revealing row after row of sharp teeth. "Spike...I think we should follow Applejacks instructions to the letter. We can simplify the rituals involved when we get back home."
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195.7 reminds me of a gag in several Xanth stories: "boot rear", a drink that gives a kick...
...oh. the "combustable lemons" rant.
I think it's meant to be 'provisions' rather than 'perversions'. Also, conditions would work better than features (which should be plural rather than singular anyway) although I should point out that it's just a little bit redundant with the mention of provisions. Finally, "Stepping semi fully in" just doesn't sound very good and you might consider revising it. This whole sentence is kind of a mess.
Why is Sleipner using the dumb plant based swears? I thought only the inhabitants of the Equestrian Loop had agreed to those, not the admins.
What is even going on in 195.10?
WTF! that alone was so funny!
BD out
Heh.
YOU FOOL!
Dammit, you should know better than to tempt fate!
WHY ARE YOU SO GENRE BLIND?!
I suppose you think that was terribly clever.
Oh dear.
You wanna argue with her?
How's that a question, you can see the bread in the toaster, can't you?
I'm, confused.
That one hurt.
That was physically painful.
Ow.
Stop it!
Stop! It!
GLORIOUS!
Daaw!
I am VERY happy about this.
What?
Agreed.
8140605
And it's rather ironic too, given the previews we've seen for the coming season - the midpoint episode reveals that the Apple siblings' mother was from the Pear family.
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
8140605
Glad you liked it.
8134856
Short answer: Looping Ponies encounter and break the Egyptian afterlife.
Long answer: The most relevant thing about the Egyptian afterlife is that you get your soul weighed against a feather from the goddess of truth. Too heavy, and your soul gets fed to a crocodile-headed creature called Ammut. Presumably, the feather tries to weigh the good against the bad (otherwise everybody would get eaten and there'd not really be any point in bothering), but...well...none of it is really meant to deal with Loopers or their souls. Fluttershy's soul is relatively normal by looper standards, having a total combined weight of eons even if she doesn't have much guilt per se, but her soul never actually gets put on the scale. It doesn't matter, she's disabled Ammut with chin scritches anyways, so even if she failed her soul wouldn't get eaten. Derpy's soul is even worse because it's ridiculously low on guilt DESPITE being eons old. The feather tries to do it's usual thing, but it messes up and becomes so heavy it flings Derpy's soul through the roof, collapsing the room.
Finally, when Twilight shows up and just casually FIXES it all back up again, Annubis decides he's had enough of ponies and nopes out of there.
Ooooooh, more Sleipnir and Admin stuff. Very nice!
... Which younger sibling is he talking about at the start? Fenrir?
8773460
Fenrir and Jörmungandr
Curious thing with the weighing of the souls in Egyptian Mythology. According to older sources. You were judged unworthy if your souls was to heavy or to light, it had to perfectly balance with the feather.
8134856
Who is he going to swear to himself?
This isn't word salad beer... this is alphabet soup!
11568380
oh, you just reminded me of a Discworld book, "Hogfather", where the newly-spawned "god of hangovers", who GETS hangovers, kept saying, "oh, ME!" over and over...